posted on December 3, 2001 08:08:02 AM new
Good Morning,
Since I'm going to be your new moderator today, I wanted to put all of you at ease right off the bat and let you know that nothing's really changed. Even though I have virtually unlimited and unchecked power over you, just think of me as one of the regular guys here. Sorta like your kindly and helpful neighborhood CIA agent and I promise that I will strive to be every bit that open and communicative.
I don't intend to dwell on the more unpleasant aspects of internet posting, but from my years of experience I have made some rather astute observations about interpersonal social relationships that I may share with you from time to time. For now, suffice it say that if you will keep two cardinal dictates in mind, the threads can be an endless source of enjoyment and learning for all of us.
First, the key to successful, stimulating conversation is in the thread topics. Certain topics seem to always generate unpleasantness no matter how well-intentioned the originators. A helpful list of topics to avoid includes, but is not limited to, the following: current events, politics, religion, sex, business, personal experiences, hypotheticals of any type, personal preferences, celebrities and entertainment, internet auctions, nostalgia, pets, food, technical information, lifestyles, travel, medical and personal problems, talents/skills, and especially moderation calls.
Second, if you really dislike somebody or anything that they post, for the love of God, just tell them. Don't pick, pick, pick at every little detail until everybody is sick of hearing all the pointless caviling, just lay it on the line. And spare me all the whiney frigging email complaints and self-righteous sermonizing. Do you really think that I give a tinker's damn about your petty little problems? Yeah right, like I lay awake nights worrying that someone's offended you. Hell, I've got all I can do trying to get the GD outside Christmas lights up and you want me to take care of little Johnny or Susie for you. Oh sorry, got a little carried away there, but you get the point.
To top off this positive note in our relationship, I thought that I would post a recent picture. It can be uncomfortable when you know that someone is watching your every movement, scrutinizing your posts for violations of the Community Guidelines, analyzing syntax and diction for errors and innuendo, making personal judgements about you based upon only scant information and irrelevant detail. But seeing a picture of that person helps to ease those worries, creates a more relaxed and casual relationship.
posted on December 3, 2001 09:58:15 AM newsaabsister,
No, no, you've entirely misread my intentions. I'll do as little as possible whether or not anyone is frightened; it would just make it much more pleasant if we could achieve that ideal state. Knowing the posters here, I realize the futility but I'm something of an idealist.
Speaking of the absolute minimum, krs has already achieved that so I'm assured that I won't come in dead last in the competition, but it also is necessary to givekrs his first warning. I'm sure everyone has noticed it, the glaring redundancy with the words old and geezer.
posted on December 3, 2001 10:41:59 AM new
I sense an Ashcroftian threat to our freedom of speech here:
A helpful list of topics to avoid includes, but is not limited to, the following: current events, politics, religion, sex, business, personal experiences, hypotheticals of any type, personal preferences, celebrities and entertainment, internet auctions, nostalgia, pets, food, technical information, lifestyles, travel, medical and personal problems, talents/skills, and especially moderation calls.
I realize that you are making a suggestion, but those who don't adhere to the preferred topics - whatever they are, since little remains - will be made to feel like outcasts who may even begin to self-censor in order to post. (Jeepers, it's difficult for an Art major to make a post when her grammar can be critiqued by one from the English department.)
posted on December 3, 2001 11:01:01 AM new
After reading your drivel Mr. Moderator I have come to the conclusion that all you have said to us ,in so many words, is "shut up and sit down".
I believe you need to be fired on the spot. I am emailing and consulting lawyers as we speak.
posted on December 3, 2001 11:43:05 AM new
Good God! Is there no pleasing you people? It's all me, me, me! Wah! Wah! Wah! I go to all the trouble to write a warm, congenial, helpful introduction and this is the thanks that I get. Hell, I've even been reading some of the posts here.
Everybody wants special considerations. Do this! Do that! Moderate this. Moderate that. Twenty-four a day non-stop harassment.
No wonder you can't keep anybody here for more than a day.
Oh yes, saabsister, we're just supposed to let anybody talk about anything they choose. Well, you let them and the next thing you know, they'll start challenging the moderation. Sacrilege. Tearing down our hallowed chatboard institutions. That's why the whole country's in the mess it is today. Freedom! Bah!
Ha! Rawbunzel! I have an iron-clad twenty-four contract. There's nothing that you and your dissidents can do to me. Sure, just ignore my constructive criticisms and forge ahead with your diabolical scheming. Little good it will do you.
posted on December 3, 2001 12:30:19 PM new
Oh come on everyone. Let's not fight. Although (handsome) Antiquary's republican-style statements are somewhat extremist, he is still the moderator and should be respected for the position he holds. Killing only exacerbates. Extremists should be handled with kind words and understanding. (Everybody knows that.)
posted on December 3, 2001 12:40:43 PM new
Kraftdiner you are So-o-o-o obvious! Bleech!
Antiquary, you know that I would never volunteer to shoot you. You are far too handsome and intelligent to be shot. Really. insert eyelash fluttering GIF here
edited to repair a word
[ edited by rawbunzel on Dec 3, 2001 12:42 PM ]
posted on December 3, 2001 01:04:46 PM new
Obvious about what rawbunzel? Are you accusing me of trying to flatter (the most handsome and intellegent person at AW) Antiquary so I won't be moderated?? As if I would be that shallow. I am truly saddened by your outburst and will have to re-think some things.
posted on December 3, 2001 01:28:17 PM new
Oh YEAH???? I'll have you know that I have researched the correct spelling of "bleech" on the net and I know for a fact that my spelling is correct. I am not talking Clorox here you know! I will consult with my lawyers presently.
Please keep your personal and degrading remarks to yourself. BLEECH!
posted on December 3, 2001 01:39:14 PM new".....on the net"
On the net?????? Are you a fossil or something? That saying went out ages ago. (Rolling eyes, shaking head and sighing alot)
Plus, you aren't scaring me with your lawyer talk rawbunzel. In fact, maybe your lawyer would be interested in seeing the polaroids I happen to have of you at that Korean strip club..........
posted on December 3, 2001 01:42:41 PM new
KD, honey, you know it pains me to admonish you, but please don't bring up the photos unless you post them here to share with all of us....please, huh, okay?
posted on December 3, 2001 01:43:04 PM new
Stockticker, If you can't say anything nice please refrain from speaking at all.
Kraftdinner, Again you attack my personality with personal remarks addressed specificaly to my person.I am personaly offended and insist that moderation follow.
Moderator?
As for the Korean strip club..that was not me that was my clone. You see, I have nothing to hide. not much anyway after that little strip club incident
posted on December 3, 2001 02:06:05 PM new
The various issues of moderation encountered today, and the resolution of the problems which have arisen as a direct result of the actions of the currently assigned moderator, Mr. Antiquary, obviously can not be fully set to rights within the remaining time allocated to this moderator. Therefore it will be necessary to extend the tenure of Mr. Antiquary indefinitely, or until such time as each posting member has received full and satisfactory restitution or other compensatory benefit for all that suffering endured during the presentation of of his or her grievances.
posted on December 3, 2001 02:09:54 PM new
Damn! No pictures!
In that case, I have to support Rawbunzel's position (she's also blackmailing me with the wretched huggie things, but I won't let that influence my professional judgement) and am personally distressed that you would personally attack Rawbunzel's person. I must issue you an official warning, KD. (If, however, you can produce the alledged pictures, we can negotiate )
