posted on July 12, 2005 02:51:27 PM new
A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
***
Young son: "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad: "That happens in every country, son."
****
Just think, if it weren't for marriage,
men would go through life thinking
they had no faults at all.
***
A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones that need the advice."
- Bill Cosby
posted on July 29, 2005 07:36:00 AM new
ONCE A BAPTIST -- ALWAYS A BAPTIST
John Smith was the only Protestant to move into a large Catholic neighborhood. On the first Friday of Lent, John was outside grilling a big juicy steak on his grill.
Meanwhile, all of his neighbors were eating cold tuna fish for supper. This went on each Friday of Lent. On the last Friday of Lent, the neighborhood men got together and decided that something had to be done about John, he was tempting them to eat meat each Friday of Lent, and they couldn't take it anymore.
They decided to try and convert John to be a Catholic. They went over and talked to him and were so happy that he decided to join all of his neighbors and become a Catholic. They took him to church, and the Priest sprinkled some water over him and said,
"You were born a Baptist, you were raised a Baptist, and now you are a Catholic."
The men were so relieved, now their biggest Lenten temptation was resolved. The next year's Lenten season rolled around. The first Friday of Lent came, and just at supper time, when the neighborhood was
sitting down to their tuna fish dinner, came the wafting smell of steak cooking on a grill.
The neighborhood men could not believe their noses! WHAT WAS GOING ON?
They called each other up and decided to meet over in John's yard to see if he had forgotten it was the first Friday of Lent?
The group arrived just in time to see John standing over his grill with a small pitcher of water. He was sprinkling some water over his steak on the grill, saying, "You were born a cow, you were raised a cow, and now you are a fish."
posted on July 30, 2005 03:37:25 PM new
A liberal came upon a genie and said, "You're a genie. Can you grant me three wishes?" The genie replied, "Yes, but only if you're feeling generous enough to share your good fortune." The liberal said, "I'm a liberal. I'm always happy to share." The genie said, "O.K., then, whatever you wish for, I'll give every conservative in the country two of it. What's your first wish?" "I would like a new sports car." "O.K., you've got it, and every conservative in the country gets two sports cars. What's your second wish?" "I'd like a million dollars." "O.K., you get a million dollars, every conservative gets two million dollars. What's your third and final wish?" "Well, I've always wanted to donate a kidney."
Absolute faith has been shown, consistently, to breed intolerance. And intolerance, history teaches us, again and again, begets violence.
----------------------------------
President George Bush: "Over time the truth will come out."
President George Bush: "Our people are going to find out the truth, and the truth will say that this intelligence was good intelligence. There's no doubt in my mind."
Bush was right. The truth did come out and the facts are he misled Congress and the American people about the reasons we should go to war in Iraq.
posted on August 1, 2005 09:54:24 AM new
FLAT TARR (PEOPLE FROM THE SOUTH WILL UNDERSTAND THIS.)
There was this fellow from the south who had a flat tire. He pulled of
on
the side of the road, jumped out of his car, walked down the hillside
and
picked a bunch of wildflowers, and proceeded to put one bouquet of
flowers
in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to
wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and, being a bit curious,
he
turned around and went back. When he arrived at the car he asked the
man
what the problem was.
The man replied, "I have a flat tarr." In response the passerby asked,
"But
what's with the flowers?"
The man responded, "When you break down, they tell you to put flares in
the
front and flares in the back - I never did understand it neither!"
