posted on September 1, 2000 01:20:27 PM
Well KatyD, its not my fault that all roads eventually lead to me. I guess it is because I am so interesting, talented, intriguing, just a really vivacious human being. Better be careful about saying things like that DIRECTLY to me, might be construed as an insult and gee we wouldn't want that now would we?
posted on September 1, 2000 01:26:22 PM
Jt. You are on my plane. I am so inspired by your perspective. Also, I did not experience the south prior to the late 60's. It is ever changing. I know a lot of culture is being eroded by urban sprawl, new growth, etc. I hate being type cast as a southern belle. But it just happens, so I learn to live with it.
posted on September 1, 2000 11:02:40 PM
I've been knocked off line most of the day but this one ended with a twist - the odd gets odder.
First, my late night swim is one of the only things I do that is just for me - not to make money - not to nurture someone else - not for anyones approval or disapproval - just for me because it is instant and total relaxation. I'm not changing it for anyone and if the whole neighborhood decides to watch I'll just sell tickets. And, for me to wear a suit would really destroy the feeling of total freedom that it gives me. Besides, it's my back yard - my pool - and I don't unclothe til I'm neck deep in water. Point being, it's not an exhibition - and none of my neighbors business.
The fence is old and has some swelling that causes crevices and gaps - but not large enough for someone to casually notice what's going on in our back yard. They would have to put out some effort to do that- especially in the dark. The only part of the fence that has a larger hole is the one he was watching from and that is about 2" x 4" and is splintered out. It doesn't look like it was cut. We replaced that slat today and my husband paid another visit to our neighbor. He took a police investigator friend with him. At first the guy claimed that he heard noises in our back yard and was just curious. He said that he got angry over the squirt because he felt foolish but he didn't blame us for being angry about it. He was very apologetic. In fact they even ended up laughing about it and now my husband thinks he's probably a nice guy...a little odd, but o.k. He also had a cop friend run some kind of a criminal history check and the guy was clean.
Now the kicker is that this guy actually admitted to my husband by the end of the conversation that he sometimes waits for us to clear the pool - usually by 1 a.m. and that he climbs the fence and has a swim. So, it sounds like to me that he was looking - not to peep - but to see if we were through yet.
I think I'm more creeped out by this guy being in my pool uninvited than I was about him watching us. I'm not sure how I feel about it.
My husband said he's concerned about the liability but feels sorry for the guy and doesn't care if he swims in our pool as long as he'll let us know when he would like to.
But, he says he told the guy that he had some concerns about it and that he'd talk to me and we'll let him know. My instinct is to say no, but I'm still deciding.
posted on September 2, 2000 04:44:58 AM
IMO, this is NOT a good development, and if you can't get a better neighbor, you need a much better fence. Higher, at the minimum. The guy does not accept the concept of "trespass" and now feels comfortable enough with your husband to tell him he's coming on to your property and making himself to home. What is a door to such a man? What separates the outer space from the inner, should his curiosity and desires propel him there? If you accept this situation on his terms, I think it's very likely that the encroachment will increase in proximity and intimacy.
posted on September 2, 2000 08:21:58 AM
We talked it over again this a.m. and decided to tell him no and that we would consider it trespassing. He's also going to warn him (in a nice way) that we're going to start leaving our Shephard out of his run in the evenings and that the police department has been told of the situation. He may consider it all innocent but it creeps me out too much.
We kind of feel bad for him (too many reasons to say here) but we don't want to encourage his wierd behavior - or to make him think we want to be friends. One of the neighbors said that he did some work for her and it took her forever to get him to quit popping over for a.m. coffee with her and her husband even after the work was done. She said it didn't really surprise her to find out he was climbing our fence. We're going to visit a few more neighbors and ask them to let us know if they ever see him climbing our fence.
Just some friendly advice. If you have provided accurate information regarding the incident-related events that have occurred so far, I strongly suggest you enable the matter to rapidly fade into history and never be brought up again. Otherwise, your husband, you, your police friends, and certain governmental officials of your locale may be having a "group" nude gathering in your pool after the neighbor sues the pants/dresses off all culpable entities. I hope the matter was lawful and by departmental regulations, not as you have implied here.
Based on your previous statements that your husband and you are very close friends with most of the police officers in your area, merged with your story about the visit to the neighbor and the criminal history check, the pettiness of the act -in accordance with your account is developing into something quite more serious.
Although not entirely improbable, and dependent upon the established and documented history of normal procedures used by your local police department, it is not common practice for an "investigator" to be first responder to an incident (peeping) as you have stated occurred.
Commonly, in such matters an investigator becomes involved only (if) the case is assigned to an investigator subsequent to the reporting of an offense to a "uniformed" officer, to the department in person, or a called in report, depending on the reporting methods your police department uses. Dependent on legitimacy of purpose, it is (also) not common practice, although not always unreasonable, for a police officer/investigator to take the complainant (your husband) with them during initial interview of the suspect.
If an official complaint had not been filed and there is not a report on file documenting the report and the follow-up investigation, and the investigator was (simply) using his authority (unofficially) to assist your husband to intimidate and coerce your neighbor, your husband and the investigator (could) be in legal and/or criminal jeopardy if the neighbor eventually realizes or is informed that the actions of your husband and the investigator may not have been proper. If such did occur, the investigator could be held to a charge of "Official Misconduct."
The action I have the most concern with is disclosed in your statement, " He also had a cop friend run some kind of a criminal history check and the guy was clean." If you are accurate in your statement, everyone involved is culpable of serious criminal and civil acts and repercussions; magnified by what record system(s) was/were queried e.g., departmental, state, or federal. If the actions were illegal and CQH and NCIC records were queried, everyone involved, which can include the city/county agencies/officials, could be in serious trouble.
Criminal history held in departmental, state and federal record systems are considered confidential and are held to stringent laws regarding viewing and disclosure. Even random checking of particular record systems by a police officer could be illegal. In certain instances there must be a documented "need to know," "right to know," and a record of query and by whom. Your husband may have had a desire to know, but in this matter it appears he did not have a need or right to know. If the officer did query a record system pursuant to a request by a "civilian," that officer's butt is on the edge. Just to be advised by the officer that the neighbor's record "was clean" could be a violation.. If the information was illegally obtained and disclosed, each dissemination to other people is a compounding of the violation.
I suggest you inform your neighbor that you checked with your insurance agent and was advised you would not be covered should a swimming accident occur as you hand the neighbor one of your largest and best homemade pies.
posted on September 2, 2000 05:54:05 PMSgtMike I understand your observations about the situation. Clarifying a little though, our friend is not an investigator for this county and didn't go in an official capacity or in uniform but rather as a friend observing to give his input and thoughts for our benefit. After re-reading my post I realize it sounds like I was saying he went in an official capacity. Actually, the neighbor just thought that he was a friend and didn't know he was involved with law enforcement. And, that's not what he was there for. No report has been filed, etc.
As to the criminal history check, I won't go into more details but this was taken seriously and even though I'm sure it could have helped that my husband has been so involved with law enforcement for years, I feel sure that this was done based on other issues that didn't involve friendship or connections.
I am more convinced than ever now that I don't want to encourage any kind of relationship with this guy and I feel sure he's not going to pursue his initial threat since he hasn't mentioned it again.
I do find it interesting though that I'm minding my own business in my own yard and even though my husband's reaction was silly and not thought out - it was certainly not intended to (and didn't) cause physical harm - but yet I'm the one that everyone says should legally get my a$$ sued. Is this a great country or what?
The tough thing about discussing issues on this board is that sometimes everything that should be said to really clarify situations can't be said.
