posted on October 31, 2005 10:20:23 PM new
Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department.
One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in.
They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again.
An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, "I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don't get it -- why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?"
The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the girl who plants the trees called in sick."
____________________
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." -- George W. Bush
posted on November 1, 2005 04:33:04 AM new
A convention was held by the B.A.N.D. (blondes are not dumb) organization. It's purpose was to once and for all put to rest the silly stereotype of dumb blondes. Thousands of flaxen haired folks crowded into a convention hall.
A well known blond mathematician had been chosen to demonstrate her computational prowess. The master of ceremonies gave a little speech about how it was finally time to show the world just how smart blondes can really be.
The mathematician stepped up to the microphone, "fire away with your toughest problem", she said.
The MC said "how much is 4 times 6?"
The blond thought, and she thought, and she thought a bit more and answered: "10"
"I'm sorry, that's not correct", said the MC, glancing down at his card.
The crowd began to chant "give her another chance, give her another chance, give her another chance"
So the MC proceeded with "How much is 3 times 3?"
She thought for a long time and finally answered "6"
Checking his card once again, the MC informed the mathematician that she was incorrect.
The crowd began to chant "give her another chance, give her another chance, give her another chance"
So the MC gave her one more chance. "How much is 2 plus 2?"
A smile crossed the blonde's face and she immediately answered "4!!"
And the crowd went wild, yelling "give her another chance, give her another chance, give her another chance"
____________________________________________
Habla siempre que debas y calla siempre que puedas....
posted on November 1, 2005 08:40:17 AM new
Those jokes were funny....thanks.
--------
helen, once again your profess your love for me....with a love song....how sweet you are. I've already told everyone here how I know you feel that way about me...but I never thought that you too would be able to admit it.
I'll treasure the love song you gave me for ever and ever.
"Whenever the nation is under attack, from within or without, liberals side with the enemy. This is their essence." --Ann Coulter
And why the American Voters chose to RE-elect President Bush to four more years. YES!!!
posted on November 1, 2005 10:03:05 AM new
Cute Blond Joke
A few days ago I was having some work done at the local Ford Dealership. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten.
We all looked at each other and another customer asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?"
She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one." She said that she did not know what it was but this piece had always been there.
He gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like.
She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car, which had its hood up and asked, "Is there a 710 on this car?" She pointed and said, "Of course, it's right "there."
posted on November 1, 2005 11:32:29 AM new
Linda, i think what helen is trying so hard to tell you with all the sweet nothings and love songs that she's saying to you is, lez be friends.
If you are a blond it explains the fact that you don't get it. If you are not a blond, you need to adjust the color of your hair so that your blond mentality will match the hue of your hair, thereby giving you an excuse for your daffy ideas.
posted on November 1, 2005 11:49:44 AM new
LOL piinthesky....yea, I'm sure that's just what she wants.
----
But now...after seeing the love song she posted JUST for ME....everyone knows her true feelings towards me. She's just acting a little embarassed to admit it now that I've again pointed it out to all. But it certainly was no 'blond joke'...and her link said 'just call my name and I'll be there'. When I clicked on the link and read the love song for me....I just never would have thunk it.
posted on November 1, 2005 12:03:26 PM new
oh helen....are you bipolar/manic-depressive by any chance?
First you insult me, make promises to never speak to me again....then you do anyway...and now you're professed your love for me.
Is your name really Sybil?
You also make posts about me all the time when I haven't even posted on a thread. But you expect me to do differently than you do...how funny.
And there's no way to know when your ACTUALLY here or not. Not posting, sure as heck doesn't mean you're not reading the threads. You can't fool us. You're lurking even when you're not posting....unless you tell us you're off to go somewhere. We've noticed your little sneaky patterns.
posted on November 1, 2005 12:07:05 PM new
A DAY AT THE DOCTORS OFFICE, BLONDE GRANNY HELEN’S CHECKUP
A woman in her 40's was taking her aged mother, Helen, who was in her 60's to
the gynocologist. After dropping her mother off, she and her
teenaged daughter ran a few errands, then returned to the doctor.
While Helen had her feet in the stirrups, the doctor
remarked, "Don't we look pretty today", as he performed his
examination. Helen was quite shocked, but said nothing.
When her daughter picked her up, she was quite upset. The
following conversation ensued:
Mother Helen: Do you know what that doctor said to me? He said, "Don't
we look pretty today", while he was looking between my legs! Do
you think that was appropriate?
Daughter: No! Are you sure he wasn't referring to your hairstyle
or something?
Mother Helen: Well, it still wasn't appropriate or professional. I
wonder if it could be considered sexual harassment. What do you
think?
Daughter: I don't know. We're you embarassed?
Mother Helen: I was very embarassed. I used some of your FDS this
morning, and he may have smelled that, but I still don't think he
should have commented!
Daughter: I don't have any FDS.
Mother Helen: Why, sure you do! In the blue can that was on back of the
toilet. I used some before the appointment...
Granddaughter: Grandma! That's my Barbie Golden Glitter Hair
Spray!
Linda, your grandiose ideas of your value or interest here is phenomenal especially when we consider the fact that you can't answer a simple question put to you by a reasonable poster such as Fenix. God, how many times has she backed you into a corner and you go on with your meaningless blather. Do you think that no one notices? Have you noticed when you are here alone posting totem pole comments that no one cares? Get a grip on your delusions.
Your ideas are repulsive to me. And that is the truth.
posted on November 1, 2005 12:30:36 PM new
I know....piinthesky. That's what I was referring to when helen goes off on these tangents.
Now she's back into her lying mode again. tsk tsk helen. You also don't answer questions.....can you say hyprocrite? Look in your mirror....it might help you back to reality more quickly.
And helen will want to kiss and make up, pi, sometime down the road. She's just playing hard to get....immediately after professing her love for me.
-------------
Blonde Joke
A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!"
In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"
The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"
The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?"
"I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street."
posted on November 1, 2005 12:36:28 PM new
just so helen can't deny she posted a love song just for me....and then edit her post later.
helenjw - posted on October 31, 2005 06:46:41 PM
The dizzy old bat is looking for Helen when Helen is not here. Should I be flattered?
Just call my name and I'll be there.
---
Then she even posts the link with the words of love she feels for me. Now she's switched to her 'other' personality and denies it. That's our helen....will lie about anything - according to the current mood she's in.
----
edited to show the words of love from helen.....and that she now tries to pretend she didn't mean.
And some here wonder why I've called her delusional before?
This is a SUPER example of why.
---
I'll Be There
performed by Michael Jackson
You and I must make a pact, we must bring salvation back
[b]Where there is love, I'll be there
I'll reach out my hand to you, I'll have faith in all you do[/b]
Just call my name and I'll be there
And oh - I'll be there to comfort you,
Build my world of dreams around you, I'm so glad that I found you I'll be there with a love that's strong I'll be your strength, I'll keep holding on- yes I will[/b], yes I will
Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter Togetherness, well that's all I'm after
Whenever you need me, I'll be there
I'll be there to protect you, with an unselfish love I respect you
Just call my name and I'll be there
And oh - [b]I'll be there to comfort you, Build my world of dreams around you, I'm so glad that I found you
I'll be there with a love that's strong[/b]
I'll be your strength, I'll keep holding on - yes I will, yes I will
If you should ever find someone new, I know he'd better be good to you
'Cos if he doesn't, I'll be there
Don't you know, baby, yeah yeah
I'll be there, I'll be there, just call my name, I'll be there
(Just look over your shoulders, honey - ooh)
I'll be there, I'll be there, whenever you need me, I'll be there
Don't you know, baby, yeah yeah
I'll be there, I'll be there, just call my name, I'll be there...
---
helen says to me:
Linda, your grandiose ideas of your value or interest here is phenomenal.....
So helen....you might want to explain just how I am of no importance to you....and yet you post love songs like this to me.
[ edited by Linda_K on Nov 1, 2005 01:16 PM ]
posted on November 1, 2005 12:43:10 PM newWere you the blond guy that was reportedly tossed out of a truck stop after ordering a Double Mocha Latte Decaf with Almond Essence?
posted on November 1, 2005 12:45:50 PM new
Pininthesky,
Some forums have back rooms for the kind of dialog that you prefer. It's a shame that you have to make such an ass of yourself in public. Maybe you should suggest to Vendio that you need a private place to wallow in the muck and pollute the air. Bear can post ugly photos while you provide the ugly words and linda can cheerlead.
Now, I am out of this pigsty thread. The air is too foul.
posted on November 1, 2005 12:56:42 PM new
There SHE blows again.
Hey, helen....maybe you can do what YOU tell everyone else here to do when they don't like a thread or a post. YOU can just not read the threads/links/comments you think you're so far above.
Another case of you being able to 'hand it out' but NOT being able to take it. So typical of you helen.
posted on November 1, 2005 01:05:28 PM new
GIve me a break Helen. You of all people. I've always notice you get in on the fun when your not the brunt.
Pininthesky,
"Some forums have back rooms for the kind of dialog that you prefer. It's a shame that you have to make such an ass of yourself in public. Maybe you should suggest to Vendio that you need a private place to wallow in the muck and pollute the air. Bear can post ugly photos while you provide the ugly words and linda can cheerlead.
Now, I am out of this pigsty thread. The air is too foul."
posted on November 1, 2005 01:34:18 PM new
Oh helen, thanks for the laughs.
Hey, why don't you and peepa get together and talk about serious stuff. You're both perfect for each other.....being so anal retentive like you both are.
Lets see now, Halloween is over so i can't tell you trick or treat anymore. So, what cryptic catch phrase should i use now to get your goat.....hmmmmm, ok i got it. JINGLE BELLS!!! Now don't go and be a blonde Helen, trying to figure that one out. Take another sip of whiskey, mixed with your Eggnog!!!
The funniest sound I ever heard
Papa-oom-mow-mow
Papa-oom-mow-mow
But I can't understand a single word
Papa-oom-mow-mow
Papa-oom-mow-mow
But if he's serious or if he's playin'
Whoo, my my is all he's sayin'
Papa, whooo
Baba-baba-baba-whoooooooo!
Well I said there, pop, say what's your name
Papa-oom-mow-mow
Papa-oom-mow-mow
Why don't you come around and show your face?
Papa-oom-mow-mow
Papa-oom-mow-mow
The weirdest sound--I can't figure it out--
I can't believe this sound makes me slap and shout
Papa, whooo
Baba-baba-baba-whoooooooo! Yeah!
Dit-dit-dit
Papa-oom-mow-mow
Papa-oom-mow-mow
Dit-dit-dit
Papa-oom-mow-mow
Papa-oom-mow-mow
Dit-dit-dit
Dit-dit-dit
Dit-dit-dit
Papa-papa-papa-oom-muh-muh-muh-muh
Papa-oom-mow-mow
Papa-oom-mow-mow
Papa-oom-mow-mow
Dit-dit-dit
I can't seem to remember all the words
Dit-dit-dit
Papa-oom-mow-mow
Papa-oom-mow-mow
Dit-dit-dit
Papa-oom-mow-mow
Papa-oom-mow-mow
Dit-dit-dit
Well, I hear this sound everywhere I go
Papa-oom-mow-mow
Papa-oom-mow-mow
On the rockin' TV or the radio
Papa-oom-mow-mow
Papa-oom-mow-mow
But now it's spreadin' all through the land
I still can't seem to haha ha
Understand
Papa-oom-mow-mow
Papa-oom-mow-mow
Baba-baba-baba-whoooooooo!
Baba-whoo
Dit dit dit
Baba-baba-baba-whooooo!
Baba-baba-baba-whoooooooo!
Oooo-oooo-ooo-wooooo
