posted on January 26, 2006 09:29:42 AM new
Dear Internal Revenue Service:
Enclosed you will find my 2005 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in taxes. Please note the attached article from the USA Today newspaper; dated
12 November, wherein you will see the Pentagon (Department of Defense) is paying $171.50 per hammer and NASA has paid $600.00 per toilet seat.
I am enclosing four (4) toilet seats (valued @ $2,400) and six (6) hammers valued @ $1,029), which I secured at Home Depot, bringing my total remittance to $3,429.00. Please apply the overpayment of $22.00 to the "Presidential Election Fund," as noted on my return. You can do this inexpensively by sending them one (1) 1.5" Phillips Head screw (see aforementioned article from USA Today newspaper detailing how H.U.D. pays $22.00 each for 1.5" Phillips Head Screws). One screw is enclosed for your convenience.
It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year.
posted on January 26, 2006 09:33:05 AM new
You gotta to love a drunk
A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud
pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken
stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "It is three o'clock in the morning."
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunken guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No. I did not. It is three o'clock in the morning and it is pouring rain outside!!."
His wife said, "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke
down and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you
should be ashamed of yourself!"
The man does as he is told (of course!), gets dressed and goes out into
the pouring rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello! Are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer. "Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
posted on January 27, 2006 11:09:37 AM new
"Hello, is this here the Sheriff's Office?"
"Yes. What can I do for you?"
"I'm calling to report my neighbor, Virgil Smith. He's drillin' holes in his farwood and hiding marijuana inside!"
"Thank you very much for the call, sir."
The next day, the Sheriff & his deputies descend on Virgil's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they split every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and leave.
The phone rings at Virgil's house. "Hey, Virgil! This here is Floyd. Did the Sheriff come?"
"Yeah!"
"Did they split yer farwood?"
"Yep!"
"Happy Birthday, buddy!"
(Who says we rednecks aren't real bright?!)
Ron
"I'm so depressed. My doctor refused to write me a
prescription for Viagra. He said it would be like putting
a new flagpole on a condemned building."
posted on January 30, 2006 06:03:01 AM new
Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother to comfort her.
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."
Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.
"Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."
posted on January 31, 2006 09:00:40 AM new
Of course I think this is a conspiracy and disagree with the program.
WINTER CLASSES FOR MEN AT
THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY
Monday, Jan. 30 , 2006
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.
Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor ---
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM
Class 6
Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7
Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum .
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8
Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class 11
Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing .
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14
The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Upon completion of any of the above courses,
diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
Amen,
Reverend Colin http://www.reverendcolin.com
posted on January 31, 2006 12:02:12 PM new
out of here:
Now that she’s back in the atmosphere
With drops of jupiter in her hair, hey, hey
She acts like summer and walks like rain
Reminds me that there’s time to change, hey, hey
Since the return from her stay on the moon
She listens like spring and she talks like june, hey, hey
Tell me did you sail across the sun
Did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded
And that heaven is overrated
Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star
One without a permanent scar
And did you miss me while you were looking at yourself out there
Now that she’s back from that soul vacation
Tracing her way through the constellation, hey, hey
She checks out mozart while she does tae-bo
Reminds me that there’s time to grow, hey, hey
Now that she’s back in the atmosphere
I’m afraid that she might think of me as plain ol’ jane
Told a story about a man who is too afraid to fly so he never did land
Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back to the milky way
And tell me, did venus blow your mind
Was it everything you wanted to find
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there
Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you even when I know you’re wrong
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance five-hour phone
Conversation
The best soy latte that you ever had . . . and me
Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back toward the milky way
posted on January 31, 2006 03:18:07 PM new
An old couple are sitting in a cafe having a quiet anniversary dinner. The old man asks the old woman "Honey do you remember our first date here 50 years ago?"
The old lady says "I sure do sweetie. I lost my virginity to you out back by the fence."
The old man leans in close, does the eyebrow wiggle thing and says "Do you want to try that fence again?"
The woman leans in close and sweetly replies "Let's give it another go."
All this time during the old couple's conversation, a middle aged man has been listening to their conversation. As the old couple finish their meal, pay the bill and get up to leave, he hurriedly follows them not believing they are going to make love out back by the fence.
He peeks around the corner and sees the old woman hitch up her dress, the old man fumbles around, grabs the fence and proceeds to make the wildest, most passionate love this guy has ever witnessed.
After 10 minutes the old couple both fall down to their knees gasping, panting and sweating. The old couple slowly rise, arrange their clothes and start to shuffle out of the back alley.
The peeping man can't stand it any longer. He comes out from around the corner and asks in wonderment, "How in the world after 50 years together do you have that much passion, energy and stamina? What is the secret?"
The old man sheepishly replies "Well 50 years ago it wasn't an electric fence!"
posted on February 1, 2006 03:13:06 PM new
There was a man who worked for the Post Office, whose job it was to Process all the mail that had illegible addresses.
One day, a letter came to his desk, addressed in a shaky handwriting, to God.
He thought he should open it to see what it was about.
He opened it and read:
Dear God, I am an 93 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had
$100.00 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension check. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without
that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?
Sincerely,
Edna
The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all of the Other workers. Each of them dug into his wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96.00,
which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman.
The rest of the day, all of the workers felt a warm glow for the kind thing they had done.
Christmas came and went. A few days later, another letter came from the old lady, to God. All of the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.
It read:
Dear God,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.
By the way, there was $4 missing. I think it must have been those thieving bastards at the Post Office.
Sincerely,
Edna
Amen,
Reverend Colin http://www.reverendcolin.com
posted on February 2, 2006 09:02:07 AM new
How Latex Gloves are Made
A dentist noticed that his next patient, an elderly lady, was looking
very nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his
gloves.
"Do you know how they make these gloves?" he asked.
"No, I don't" she replied.
"Well," he spoofed, "there's a building in China with a big tank of
latex. Workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their
hands, let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes
of the right size."
She didn't crack a smile. "Oh well, I tried," he thought.
But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the dental
procedure, she burst out laughing.
"What's so funny?" he asked.
"I was just picturing how condoms are made!" she said.
Gotta watch those little old ladies! Their minds are always working !
posted on February 2, 2006 11:24:15 AM new
Got this from a friend. I'm sure the ladies will enjoy it:
Eight Words with two Meanings
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.... Playing football without a cup.
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.
4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.
5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.
!
6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.
7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.
8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... MY device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.
AND FOR FUN;
He said . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said . You wear pants don't you?
He said . ... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!
He said . . What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said ...Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
He said . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said . . We don't know it has never happened.
He said . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?
She said .... . . They already have boyfriends.
She said...What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
He said . . A widow.
He said . . Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
posted on February 2, 2006 04:52:25 PM new
Classic, Your was good....(well fair.
here's some more:
A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things.
They decide to go to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor tells them that
they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to
help them remember. Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up
from his chair.
His wife asks, "Where are you going?"
"To the kitchen" he replies.
"Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"
"Sure."
"Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she asks.
"No, I can remember it."
"Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. You'd better write it down
because you know you'll forget it."
He says, "I can remember that! You want a bowl of ice cream with
strawberries."
"I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, so you'd
better write it down!" she retorts.
Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Leave
me alone! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for
goodness sake!" Then he grumbles into the kitchen.
After about 20 minutes the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his
wife a plate of bacon and eggs.
She stares at the plate for a moment and says - "Where's my toast?
Keep Reading
A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: "So I hear you're
getting married?"
"Yep!"
"Do I know her?"
"Nope!"
"This woman, is she good looking?"
"Not really."
"Is she a good cook?"
"Naw, she can't cook too well."
"Does she have lots of money?"
"Nope! Poor as a church mouse."
"Well then, is she good in bed?"
"I don't know."
"Why in the world do you want to marry her then?"
"Because she can still drive!"
Keep Reading
Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"
Second one says, "No, its Thursday!"
Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer."
Keep Reading
A man was telling his neighbour, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost
me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect."
"Really," answered the neighbour. "What kind is it?"
"Twelve thirty."
Keep Reading
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few
days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous
young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really
doing great, aren't you?"
Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc. 'Get a hot mamma and be
cheerful.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur. Be
careful.'"
Keep Reading
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled
himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath, he
ordered a banana split.
posted on February 3, 2006 07:14:29 AM new
WHY PARENTS DRINK
The boss of a big company needed to call one of his
employees about an urgent problem with one of the main
computers, dialed the employee's home phone number and
was greeted with a child's whisper.
"Hello."
"Is your daddy home?" he asked.
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with him?"
The child whispered, "No."
Surprised, and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss
asked, "Is your Mommy there?"
"Yes."
"May I talk with her?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No."
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a
message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"
"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's
home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy", whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?"
"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," came the
whispered answer.
Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what
sounded like a Helicopter through the earpiece on the
phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" asked the boss, now truly
alarmed.
In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The
search team just landed the hello-copper."
Alarmed, concerned, and even more then just a little
frustrated the boss asked,
"What are they searching for?"
Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a
muffled giggle: "ME."
Amen,
Reverend Colin http://www.reverendcolin.com
posted on February 3, 2006 06:14:27 PM new
A little boy asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, so she
said yes. When he went to wipe his bum, there was no toilet paper,
so he used his hand. In his haste to get back to class he forgot to
wash, so he made a closed fist to hide it.
When he got back to class, his teacher asked, "What do you have in
your hand?" The boy said, "A little leprechaun, and if I open my hand
he'll get scared away."
He was then sent to the principal's office and the
principal asked him, "What do you have in your hand?"
Again the little boy said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my
hand he'll get scared away."
He was then sent home and his mom asked him, "What do you have in
your hand?" So again the little boy said,"A little leprechaun and if I
open my hand he will get scared away
Then his mom got really mad and yelled, "Open your hand NOW !
The little boy opened his hand and said, "That's great Mom. Now look
what you did. You scared the #*!@ out of him!"
Amen,
Reverend Colin http://www.reverendcolin.com
posted on February 3, 2006 08:34:28 PM new
A successful Colorado rancher died and left everything to his devoted
wife. She was a very good-looking woman, and determined to keep the
ranch, but knew very little about ranching. So she decided to place an ad in
the newspaper for a ranch hand.
Two men applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She
thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided
to hire the gay man, figuring it would be safer to have him around the
house than the drunk.
He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours everyday and knew
a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked hard, and the
ranch was doing very well.
Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have
done a really good job, and the ranch looks great! You should go into town
and kick up your heels."
The hired hand readily agreed and went into town the following
Saturday night.
One o'clock came, and he didn't return.
Two o'clock, and no hired hand.
He returned around two-thirty and, upon entering the house, he found
the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting
for him.
She quietly called him over to her. "Unbutton my blouse and take it
off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots."
He did as she asked, ever so slowly.
"Now take off my stockings." He removed each gently and placed them
neatly by her boots.
"Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching
her eyes in the firelight.
"Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was
told and dropped it to the floor.
"Now," she said, "take off my panties." By the light of the fire, he
slowly pulled them down and off.
Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into
town again, you're fired."
Amen,
Reverend Colin http://www.reverendcolin.com
posted on February 5, 2006 04:44:00 PM new
Classic, just for you:
A New York State Trooper pulled a car over on Route 9 , about 2 miles
south of Village Of Rhinebeck, When the Trooper asked the driver why he
was speeding, the driver answered that he was a magician and a juggler, and
he was on his way to The Performing Art Center to do a show that night
and didn't want to be late...
The Trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling, and if the
driver would do a little juggling for him, he wouldn't give him a ticket.
The driver told the Trooper that he had sent all of his equipment on ahead
and didn't have anything to juggle. The Trooper told him that he had some
flares in the trunk of his patrol car and asked if he could juggle them.
The juggler stated that he could, so the Trooper got three flares, lit them
and handed them to the juggler.
While the man was doing his juggling act, a car pulled in behind the patrol
car. A drunk, a good old boy from Rhinecliff got out and watched the
performance briefly. He then went over to the patrol car, opened the rear
door and got in. The Trooper observed him doing this and went over to the
patrol car, opened the door and asked the drunk what he thought he was
doing. The drunk replied, "You might as well take my ass to jail, cause
there's no way in hell I can pass that test."
posted on February 6, 2006 08:31:01 AM new
A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. She yelled "fore" but it was too late.
The ball hit one of the men and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in obvious agony.
The woman rushed over to the man and immediately began to apologize. "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me," she told him earnestly.
"Ummph, oooh, noooo... I'll be fine in a few minutes", he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together at his crotch.
But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and put her hands inside. She began to massage his privates.
She then asked him, "How does that feel?"
He replied still in agony, "It feels great, but it doesn't do a thing for my thumb. It still hurts like hell!"
posted on February 6, 2006 04:52:24 PM new
An elderly couple is vacationing in the Sun City West. Sam
always wanted a pair of authe ntic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly.
Upon arriving home, He walks into their room and says to his wife, "Notice anything different, Bessie?"
Bessie looks him over, "Nope."
Sam says excitedly, "Come on, Bessie, take a good look.
Notice anything different about me?"
Bessie looks again, "Nope."
Frustrated, Sam storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room completely naked except for his boots.
Again, he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything DIFFERENT?"
Bessie looks up and says, "Sam, what's different? It's
hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."
Furious, Sam yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT IS HANGING DOWN, BESSIE? IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!"
To which Bessie replies, "Shoulda bought a hat, Sam. Shoulda bought a hat."
posted on February 6, 2006 09:48:03 PM new
Mary's Discharged
Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sunk to the bottom and stayed there. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered her to be mentally stable.
When he went to tell Mary the news he said, "Mary, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses. The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead."
Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry."
posted on February 9, 2006 07:07:15 AM new
Daddy's Little Girl
Little Thelma comes home from 1st grade and tells her father that
they learned about the history of Valentines Day.
And, “Since, Valentines Day is for a Christian saint and
we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine ?"
Thelma's father thinks a bit, then says "No, I don't think God would
get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?"
"Osama Bin Laden. " she says.
"Why Osama Bin Laden.?" her father asks in shock.
"Well, she says, I thought that if a little American Jewish girl
could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start
to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people
a little bit. and if other kids saw what I did and then they sent
valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot.
And then he'd start going all over the place telling everyone how much
he loved them and didn't hate anyone any more."
Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with newfound
pride. "Thelma, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard."
"I know, Thelma says, and once that gets him out in the open, the
Marines could blow the #*!@ out of him."
