posted on February 10, 2006 01:07:55 PM new
You bet I am. She got her last Chemo treatment Wednesday and looks forward to having hair again.
You have to have humor in your life or it will turn to sh*t. Far too many on this and the other board take things too serious.
I think Humor is what keeps most sane people from going mad.
Here's todays:
This is an old one but maybe some haven't heard it.
I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for
over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one
little thing getting to me... It was my fiance's beautiful younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts,
has big boobs and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down
when she was near me, and I always got more than a pleasant view. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day her "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check
the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she
whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she
couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just
once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I
was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.
She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last
wild fling, just come up and get me."
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I
stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to
the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.
Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are
very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a
better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."
So the moral of this story is:
Always keep your condoms in your car.
Amen,
Reverend Colin http://www.reverendcolin.com
posted on February 11, 2006 07:18:35 AM new
Thanks DBL,
I just got this one in an e-mail. Love it.
A woman lay in a coma in the hospital while the nurses were in her room giving her a sponge bath. One of them was washing her
private area and noticed that there was a response on the monitor when she touched her.
They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, "Crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma."
The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they'd close the curtains for privacy. The hubby finally agreed and went into his wife's room. After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no
heart rate.
The nurses rushed into the room. "What happened?" they cried. The husband said, "I dunno. I guess she choked."
posted on February 12, 2006 07:08:32 AM new
cowboy chili
A young cowboy walks into a seedy cafe in Prescott, AZ. He sits at the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded staring blankly at a full bowl of chili.
After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asks the old cowpoke, "If you ain't gonna eat that, mind n if I do?"
The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his best cowboy manner says, "Nah, go ahead."
Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse in the chili.
The sight was shocking and he immediately pukes up the chili into the bowl.
The old cowboy quietly says, "Yep, that's as far as I got, too."
posted on February 13, 2006 03:21:51 AM new
: "Trucker In Needed"
A trucker who has been out on the road for
three weeks stops into a brothel outside
Vegas. He walks straight up to the Madam,
drops down $500 and says, "I want your
ugliest woman and a bologna sandwich!!!"
The Madam is astonished. "But sir, for that
kind of money you could have one of my
finest ladies and a three-course meal."
The trucker replies, "Listen, sweetheart,
I ain't horny; I'm homesick."
posted on February 13, 2006 03:22:34 PM new
Creation
On the first day, God created the dog and said: "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this,I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"
So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said: "Entertain people,do
Tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."
The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?"
And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow and said: "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day, God created man and said: "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."
But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."
So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and
Bark at everyone.
posted on February 14, 2006 08:59:12 AM new
Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor
peered over the fence.
Interested in what the rosy-faced youngster was doing,
he asked, "What are you up to there, Nancy?"
"My goldfish died," replied little Nancytearfully without looking up,
and I've just buried him."
The neighbor laughed and said condescendingly, "That's a really big
hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Little Nancy patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's
because he's inside your f***ing cat."
Amen,
Reverend Colin http://www.reverendcolin.com
posted on February 15, 2006 06:55:42 AM new
Uncle Bubba's Valentine Poem
Collards is green, my dog's name is Blue
and I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.
Yer hair is like corn silk a-flapping in the breeze.
It's softer than Blue's and without all them fleas.
Ya move like the bass, which excite me in May.
Ya ain't got no scales but I luv ya anyways.
Yo're as satisfy'n as okra just a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as snuff right out of the can.
Ya have some'a yer teeth, for which I am proud.
hold my head high when we're in a crowd.
On special occasions, when ya shave under yer arms,
well, I'm in hog heaven, and awed by yer charms.
Still them fellars at work, they all want to know,
What I did to deserve such a purdy young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape yer there fer yer man,
to patch up lifes troubles and fix what ya can.
Yer as cute as a junebug a-buzzing overhead.
Ya ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed.
Cut from the best cloth like a plait flannel shirt,
ya spark up my life like a fresh load of dirt.
When ya hold me real tight like a padded gunrack,
my life is complete, ain't nuttin' I lack.
Yer complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'
despite all the years, yer age it keeps hidin'.
Me 'n' you's like a moon with a RC cold drank,
we go together like a skunk goes with stank.
Sum men they buy chocolate for Valentines day,
they git it at Wal-mart, it's romantic that way.
Sum men git roses on that special day,
from the cooler at Kroger, That's impressive I say.
Sum men buy diamonds from a flea market booth.
Diamonds are forever they explain, suave and couth.
But for this man, honey, these presents won't do.
cause yer way too special, ya sweet thang you.
I got you a gift, without taste or odor,
more useful than diamonds... IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!
posted on February 15, 2006 07:49:24 PM new
Bubba and Ray (Tennessee mechanical engineers) were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.
A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.
We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder."
The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement, announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.
Ray shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a blonde? We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"
posted on February 16, 2006 06:03:16 AM new
The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah the
Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She explained how Elijah built the
altar, put wood upon it, cut the steer in pieces,
and laid it upon the altar. And then, Elijah commanded the people of God to
fill four barrels of water and pour it over the altar. He had them do this
four times.
"Now," said the teacher, "can anyone in the class tell me why the Lord
would have Elijah pour water over the steer on the altar?"
A little girl in the back of the room started waving her hand, "I know! I
know!" she said, "To make the gravy!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LOT'S WIFE:
The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and
turned into a pillar of salt,
when little Jason interrupted, "My Mummy looked back once, while she was
driving," he announced triumphantly,
"and she turned into a telephone pole!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GOOD SAMARITAN:
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good
Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead. She
described the situation in
vivid detail so her students would catch the drama. Then, she asked the
class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and
bleeding, what would you do?"
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DID NOAH FISH?:
A Sunday school teacher asked,
"Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of
fishing when he was on the Ark?"
"No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HIGHER POWER:
A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We have been learning how
powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher
power. Can anybody tell me what it is?"
One child blurted out, "Aces!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MOSES &THE RED SEA:
Nine-year-old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday
school. "Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy
lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt When he got
to the Red Sea,
he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across
safely. Then, he radioed headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers
to
blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved."
"Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked.
"Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never
believe it!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD:
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the
most quoted passages in the Bible; Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a
month to learn the verse. Little Rick was excited about the task -- but, he
just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get
past the first line.
On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the
congregation, Rickey was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up
to the microphone and said proudly,
"The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kids and Prayers
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
UNANSWERED PRAYER?
The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused
and bowed his head, for a moment, before
starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why.
"Well, Honey," he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his
messages,
"I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon."
"How come He doesn't do it?" she asked.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BEING THANKFUL
A rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, "So your mother says your
prayers for you each night? Very commendable.
What does she say?"
The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
EXPRESS PRAYER
Our son had only heard his grandfather pray at Thanksgiving, Easter, and
other special occasions; when he, typically, said a long prayer over the
food.
One night, after a fun camp-out and fishing trip, grandfather (to our son's
surprise) asked for a very brief blessing on the food. With a gleam in his
eye,
our son grinned at his Grandfather and said, "You don't pray so long when
you're hungry, do you Grandpa?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
UNTIMELY ANSWERED PRAYER
During the minister's prayer, one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from one
of the back pews.
Gary's mother was horrified.
She pinched him into silence and, after church, asked, "Gary, whatever made
you do such a thing?"
Gary answered, soberly,
"I asked God to teach me to whistle ..
and He just then did!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TIME TO PRAY
A pastor asked a little boy if he said his
prayers every night.. "Yes sir," the boy replied.
"And, do you always say them in the morning, too?" the pastor asked.
"No sir," the boy replied.
"I ain't scared in the daytime."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE BLESSING
My wife invited some people to dinner.
At the table, she turned to our six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you
like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," she replied.
"Just say what you hear Mommy say," my wife said.
Our daughter bowed her head and said,
"Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BEWARE OF TRASH
One particular four-year old prayed,
"And forgive us our 'trash baskets'
as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS?
When my daughter, Kelli, was 3, she and my son,Cody, would say their
nightly prayers, together.
As most children do, we have to bless every family member, every friend,
and every animal (current and past).
For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would
say, "And all girls."
As this soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this at the
end, my curiosity got the best of me and I asked her,
"Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?"
Her response, "Because we always finish our prayers by saying 'All Men'!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SAY A PRAYER
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's
house.
Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served.
When little Johnny received his plate,
he started eating right away. "Johnny wait until we say our prayer."
"I don't have to," The boy replied.
"Of course, you do," his mother insisted.
"We say a prayer, before eating, at our house."
"That's our house," Johnny explained.
"But this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook!
Amen,
Reverend Colin http://www.reverendcolin.com
posted on February 16, 2006 02:45:31 PM new
The doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life
finally retired. At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a
list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her. As the young
doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide as he realized she had
a prescription for birth control pills.
"Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are BIRTH CONTROL pills?
"Yes, they help me sleep at night."
"Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING in these that could
possibly help you sleep!"
She reached out and patted the young Doctor's knee.
"Yes, dear, I know that. But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the
glass of orange juice that my 16 year old granddaughter
drinks...............And believe me, it helps me sleep at night."
posted on February 18, 2006 08:23:07 PM new
Deer Sir,
I waunt to apply for the secritary job what I saw in the paper. I can Type real quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.
I think I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person, Pepole really seam to respond to me well.
I´m lookin for a Jobb as a secritary but it musent be to complicaited.
I no my spelling ! is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job thru my persinalety. My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth,
I can start imeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser. .
hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.
Sinseerly,
Peggy May Starlings
PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me taken at my last jobb.
posted on February 18, 2006 10:43:00 PM new
Redneck Divorce Letter"
Dear Cooter,
Me an Sue Ellen have divorced, the judge gave her the double wide and the pickup.
So, like the court order said, I delivered the truck before 2 O'clock, yesterday afternoon! I took a piccure fer proof that I delivered it... Wanted to make sure she found it when she got home!!!
posted on February 19, 2006 02:30:57 AM new
Wow colin! Your girls pix makes me wonder what some meds or steroids can do to ones body!
"Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader something to look for so they aren't distracted by the total lack of content in your writing." ~~ - Randy K. Milholland
double oo edit
[ edited by dblfugger9 on Feb 19, 2006 02:42 AM ]
posted on February 19, 2006 07:16:46 PM new
Modern Version of the Birds & Bees
A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"
The father answers: "Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out
anyway!"
Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up
a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a
secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.
As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had
used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months
later a little Pop-Up appeared that said: You got Male.
**************
Can't touch this! uh huh, uh huh.
posted on February 20, 2006 05:51:33 AM new
Dbl,
I wonder if she lets go of the tree, will she falls on her (she'll never hit her face.)...??
Good one irked!!
She was Soooooooo Blonde .
* She thought a quarterb ack was a refund.
* She thought General Motors was in the army.
* She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
* She thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
* At the bottom of an application where it says "Sign here:" she wrote "Sagittarius."
She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde...
* She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
* She sent a fax with a stamp on it.
* Under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics."
She was Sooooooooooooooooo Blonde...
* She tripped over a cordless phone.
* She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said "Concentrate."
* She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK."
* She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
She was Soooooooooooooooooooo Blonde...
* She studied for a blood test.
* She sold the car for gas money.
* When she missed bus #44 she took bus #22 twice instead.
* When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said, "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.
She Was Sooooooooooooooooooooo Blonde...
* When s he heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
* She thought if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
* She thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening.
* She had a shirt that said "TGIF," which she thought stood for "This Goes In Front."
posted on February 20, 2006 07:32:36 AM newDbl,I wonder if she lets go of the tree, will she falls on her (she'll never hit her face.)...??Good one irked!!
oh wait...I got it! lol. yeah! cushion protection I suppose.
posted on February 21, 2006 12:45:16 PM new
Baby's First Doctor Visit
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the
doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived, and
examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked
if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed?
"Breast-fed,"she replied.
"Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor ordered. She did. He pinched
her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a
very professional and detailed examination.
Motioning to her to get dressed The doctor said, "No wonder this baby is
underweight. You don't have any milk."
posted on February 22, 2006 10:58:38 AM new
I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"
He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco or drink beer or wine?"
"Oh no," I replied. "I'm not doing drugs, either."
Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"
I said, "No, my other Doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!"
"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?"
"No, I don't," I said.
He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?" No," I said. "I don't do any of those things."
He looked at me and said, "Then why do you give a sh*t"?
posted on February 24, 2006 10:09:58 AM new
Protecting the Environment
A woman from Los Angeles, who was a tree-hugger and an anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her.
In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch. In considerable pain, she hurried to the nearest doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go into the examining room and he would see if he could help her. She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared. The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?"
He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational area. I'm sorry, but they turned me down."
**************
Can't touch this! uh huh, uh huh.
posted on February 26, 2006 08:56:21 AM new
After having their 11th child, a North Georgia Mountain couple
decided that 11 was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed.
So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his
cousin didn't want to have any more children.
The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy
that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. A less costly
alternative,
said the doctor, was to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are
legal in
the North Georgia Mountains), light it, put it in an empty beer can,
then
hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.
The redneck said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man in
the world, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next
to
my ear
is going to help me."
"Trust me," said the doctor.
So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He
held the can up to his ear and began to count
1
2
3
4
5
At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs, and
resumed counting on his other hand.
This procedure also works in Kentucky, Tennessee, Mississippi
Arkansas, Virginia, West Virginia and most places in Texas
posted on February 27, 2006 05:34:20 AM new
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees,
4909 minutes west longitude.
She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican."
"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."
The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Democrat."
"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"
"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but, somehow, now it's my fault."
posted on February 27, 2006 07:20:10 AM new
Dear Kotex,
I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my panty-liner had a bunch of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it.
Annoying advice such as:
Staying active during your period can relieve cramps.
Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches.
Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated and feeling fresh.
Try Kotex blah blah blah other products
Obviously the person behind this was someone who has never possessed a
functioning set of ovaries.
Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman TO HER FACE that drinking 6-8
glasses of water will help keep her feeling fresh. See what happens and
report back. I'll wait.
While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and remove the chocolate
from the vending machine.
I guaran-damn-tee that the first responders will be females who just ovulated.
Look, females don't need or want tips for living on feminine hygiene products.
Younger girls are already hearing "helpful" crap like that from their elderly relatives.
Veteran females have already concocted their own recipes for survival, many containing alcohol..
Printing out #*!@ advice while sneaking in ads for the brand THAT WAS
ALREADY PURCHASED is just plain annoying, not to mention rude and enough to send a girl running to the Always brand.
Mostly we'd like to forget that we even need these products. It's not a fun time, but DO NOT try to cheer us up by adding smiley faces or bunnies or flowery cutesy crap to your products or the packaging.
Put the #*!@ in a plain brown wrapper so we can throw it in our carts discreetly and have it blend in among the wine and beer.
There is nothing more annoying than having a blinding pink package announcing your uterine state to everyone in the store.
The ultimate goal of your product should be functional invisibility at every stage, including at the point of purchase.
So take your tips for living and shove them right up your ass. (Try drinking six to eight glasses of water to make you feel fresher while you're doing it!)
