posted on May 7, 2009 10:02:52 AM
I did catch bear's comment, which seems to have been pulled. Racist is putting it nicely. There's no room in civilized society of that kind of attitude.
posted on May 8, 2009 12:51:19 PM
It may be the case that Bear is just grossly
insensitive.
It's interesting to consider how a child becomes racially prejudiced or homophobic with very little empathy for others. Since we can't choose where we were born or how we were raised or educated it's scary to think that without appropriate guidance many children are vulnerable to such attitudes.
As a side-effect of my children playing ice hockey, I wind up in lots of hockey locker rooms. Most of the kids there are perfectly fine young athletes, but there are some locker rooms where the putdown du jour seems to be that something or someone is "so gay."
My kids know better. There are boundary issues when in a locker room with someone else's children, and I keep my own counsel, but I do hustle my kids out of locker rooms where the conversations are toxic.
I also tend to have some sympathy for the boys (the girls don't say those things), as they're all of an age where they're discovering their sexuality and are nervous about how well-defined (or not) their own natures are. It is a parent's job to make it clear that disparaging someone else is not an acceptable way to overcome anxiety. It wouldn't surprise me if some of the parents not only don't take on that job, but actually say those things themselves... Joe the plumber's recent statements come to mind.
posted on May 8, 2009 08:41:30 PM
Cash, I was cautioned by my siblings with older children that gay tauntings were common in middle and high schools. I did my best to talk with my son about how hurtful these tauntings were. I'm so thankful that his school has zero tolerance for this- minimum punishment is suspension, multiple infractions, expulsion. I referred to favorite neighbors as the gay couple (they are quite open with it) and he was horrified -"Mom, don't they have names?" I stand corrected. Edited to add: although the school has nipped this in the bud, I do believe that students in non-vigilant schools repeat what is acceptable at home.
[ edited by pixiamom on May 8, 2009 08:46 PM ]
posted on May 9, 2009 05:58:55 AM
It's really time for all "polite society" to have zero tolerance for such things. Kudos to the school for attacking the problem head on. Maybe some of those students will change the dinner-time conversations at home.
I wouldn't feel too "busted" for having called your neighbors "the gay couple." Sometimes, inflection and intent have to count for something. If I'm discussing my neighbors, it isn't unusual for me to refer to "the crazy skier" (he jumps out of helicopters to ski) or something else that identifies whom I'm referring to when the name is just one more strain on my memory to get onto my tongue. Nevertheless, it warms the heart to have your son call you on it; props to him and props to your relationship that he would do so.
