posted on June 11, 2001 06:29:24 AM new
This will probably anger some, but it's my opinion and I'm allowed to that.
I've been there. Lost family members to horrible illness and still have a hole in my heart. To use that to get bidders to pay more for my auctions would have been just sick. I think this whole thing is just pathetic.
posted on June 11, 2001 06:53:54 AM new
Susan, you seem to be missing the point of my whole message. I am forming a NON-PROFIT organization to help A LOT of people who are cought between poor insurance and too much income. I started out with jsut Allisonbut I have made this something that helps many. Many charitable organizations start out this way. Make-A-Wish and the Childrens Mirical Network both were started by someone helping a family member, look at how many people they help. This is not about scaming people out of money, like the original poster would have people believe, this is about people helping people. If you took the time to look at the web sight, you would understand this.
posted on June 11, 2001 06:56:39 AM new
Okay, one more post, and then I am quitting this one....
As stated before, I have had MANY tragedies and serious illnesses (Severe Asthma, Ovarian Cancer, Uterine Cancer, Multiple Schlerosis, and Schizophrenia, all but two of which took loved ones lives)) along with untimely death of my only sister, in my life. If I <b>HAD</b> to raise money to save any one of my family members from this crap, even if it involved "mentioning" that the money was being raised to help an ill person, I would do it. I am not taking sides here, but you have to walk in the other persons shoes before you place judgement. What would be the difference of a yard sale or bake sale to raise money for a transplant? Or, how about the many fund raisers I have seen on EBAY? Two specific ones are the burn victim a while back, and a cancer victim. No one bitched about those, it seems.........
posted on June 11, 2001 07:18:44 AM newI've been there. Lost family members to horrible illness and still have a hole in my heart. To use that to get bidders to pay more for my auctions would have been just sick. I think this whole thing is just pathetic.
posted on June 11, 2001 07:37:18 AM new
justntyme---you said you had to have $10,000 saved up before the hospital would put Alison on the Lung Transplant list.
How much does the whole operation cost (in today's medical dollar?? Will your insurance pay for any of it??
posted on June 11, 2001 08:25:56 AM new
Hello JustNTime,
My heart goes out to you and I wish you and your daughter the very best.
My state has "pool" that permits the purchase of insurance for uninsurable children. They do apparently pay for preexisting conditions like diabetes. Therefore, it might apply to CF. If your state doesn't have this kind of insurance, consider moving to one that does!
I don't blame you for doing everything that you can to save your child. If she were mine, I would fight tooth and nail for her!
Lose the "friend". You have enough going on in your life without being upset by her. She may be really immature or just plain hateful. However, it isn't worth your energy or time to be involved with her.
Put your personal information on your "About Me" page. Most people will check it out. It clutters up your auction and your objective is to sell. Take the advice of the other sellers and break your descriptions into paragraphs. You have lovely items for sale!
posted on June 11, 2001 08:51:11 AM new
Bus...I am not sure what you mean by your somment...
Transplant sergery can cost anywhere from 120K to 500K depending on the organ and the complications, condition of the patient, and patience age. I know about the 10K from what I watched the young lady go through that had the liver transplant. They actually removed her from the list due to lack of ins.
As far as our ins paying for part of it, i am very unclear on that at this point and they are verry noncommitly when it somes to answering questions about their polocies.
Glass.. Thank you very much for your kindness and understnading. I do plan on changing my listings and putting the bulk of my information in my ME page. This wonderful new tool called AuctionWatch should help me make my auctions even more presentable. I have also registered as a charity through ebay with a temp 501c3 #.
Thanks everyone for your oppenions and support. I don't know about you, but I have work to do. Probably won't respond anymore.
posted on June 11, 2001 09:22:50 AM new
Yes, MrBusinessman, it is just an opinion. I won't defend it-but I will defend my right to have one.
Maybe without the picture it would have been better-but you can't tell me that picture was not used to further pull at people's heart strings. I wonder where the other half goes.
posted on June 11, 2001 09:24:35 AM new
Now if you check out there entry to AW homeatmosphere joined in March and Justntime joined June 10. I also doubt they are the same but if they are AW says you can't have two ID's to post here.
My next impression is that I doubt if people are buying from justntime because of her daughter. She is a seller selling widgets that people want not because of the daughter so they bid. I doubt if people search through many descriptions just to find someone who needs help.
posted on June 11, 2001 09:46:43 AM new
Let me tell you my story:
In September 1998 (just months after graduating college, and I had decided to take the summer off before getting a job) I developed SEVERE asthma. I ended up in the emergency room different times with it. No insurance.
In December 1998 I developed a condition that still has doctors stumped as to what it was. I couldn't get my muscles to work. At times there would be no pain, sometimes there would be. I would at times be unable to even blink my eyes, let alone walk or type or even speak.
I had to pay my student loans back during this time, as well as medical bills. When possible I charged any medical bills (still no insurance) to my credit card.
I sold on ebay when I was able to try and pay what I could of all my bills. Mom makes less than $20,000 a year working for the state govt. and I didn't want to burden her any more than I already was as I was at times an invalid.
I'm doing fine now, but still struggling to pay my medical bills. My medicines were very expensive that I took them only when I *HAD* to so I could save money.
I applied for SSI, a state Medical card, foodstamps, and a number of other government programs. I got turned down for each one because even though I couldn't speak, I could do "telemarketing", Mom made too much money for foodstamps (never mind the fact I had no income), and my IQ was too high. YES! I honestly got turned down because my IQ was too high. So I got no assistance from the government. I had people and churches from this area give me a total of $255 which to me was a small fortune. I never asked for it, they knew of the situation and gave, often anonomously.
I never added that I was using the money to pay for my medical bills. I am still paying my medical bills, and don't add yet that I am paying medical bills incurred during that time. My mother just had a total knee replacement. It will cost US (after insurance, which she has) almost a full year's salary for her.
I'm still adding noting on my ebay auctions about medical bills. My reasoning is this:
YES! I can use the money. BUT, I don't want someone buying out of sympathy. I want them to find what I sell desirable, and a high quality product, and want to bid on their own.
I achieved my red star last month, and I post on another board, and when I got my 500 star, someone said what an accomplishment it was because of my medical problems. I'm really proud of my ebay work, and thankful for it because it provides income in a way I am able to do. (Although the majority of my medical problems are gone, not walking for a year and a half really left me weak, and just this weekend I was having trouble with my ankles.)
I'm rather inclinded NOT to bid when someone says they have medical problems, because of my theory of offering a good product and hoping others will want it on ITS merit, not the fact I'm going through a rough time.
posted on June 11, 2001 09:52:03 AM new
jenndiggy1--A courageous story. I applaud you for not playing on it for sympathy in your auctions. I hope things improve for you -- you have certainly demonstrated strength and endurance.
Frankly, there are too many scam artists on eBay, including those who have used "sad stories" which have later proved to be untrue. I bypass all such auctions as I have no way of knowing if they are legitimate or not.
posted on June 11, 2001 10:17:23 AM new
I can't begrudge anyone with a SERIOUS problem virtually anything they have to do to survive. People are under the impression there are all kinds of gov help for these people. There just isn't. I have a friend with muscular dystrophy who works for the City of Newark. She got her $20,000/yr job (20K and this is NJ!) back when the gov. started it's "hire the handicapped" crusade. Well, you would think that all of that "subsidized" this and "low income" that could provide a decent life. Wrong. It seems the job means she "makes too much money" and doesn't quailify. Even her employer periodically tries to get rid of her. They "eliminate" her job and the new job is always less money and a 3rd floor walk-up.
The NEW DARWINISM:
unemployable, hence unisurable, which means no treatment, so if not for justntymes, etc you die.
posted on June 11, 2001 10:27:11 AM new
jendiggy1...I help people like you. I commend you for not "winning" about what you have lived through. If I was the one with CF, I would not be posting it all over the world either. But this is my baby. A Helpless child who looks to me for help and answers. How do you think I felt when she would ask me why I didn't have her medican to help her breath? What would you do if you knew how to make your child feel better but you could not afford the pills they had to take just to digest their food, and you had to sit by and watch them waste away from infection and malnutrition? It's different when it is your child. I know I may offend some, but I help many, and I am very proud of that. I will help you with your bills through the foundation if you would like. Unlike many, our foundation does not discriminate!
posted on June 11, 2001 10:45:26 AM new
i wasn't going to add to this thread, but i will now.
justntyme,
i feel for you, and your daughter. don't know what i'd do in such a situation, but i applaud you for coming up with a creative solution, and for making the effort to help others in addition to your daughter.
as others here have said, i also think it would be more straightforward if you said in your auctions that allison is your daughter. i don't remember if your listings (or 'me' page) also said your efforts include helping others in the same or similar situations, but i think they should. i don't think having allison's picture on your 'me' page is at all tacky, and frankly don't get why anyone would - just puts a face to the situation (and a pretty face at that!).
so far i've only found one auction, aside from yours, that mentioned any kind of illness or disaster as a reason for selling. at the time, i was buying; the situation touched me, and i liked the item, so i bid and won. i may well have passed on the auction otherwise because although i liked the item, it wasn't a 'must have' for me. but the result was me getting something i liked, and helping someone else out - win/win
as to the situation with your friend, i'm not sure what to say. she obviously felt there was something not straightforward and honest about the way you were going about this, and there was a lot she didn't understand. she handled it poorly by not being honest here in presenting the situation, and by not finding out some important information directly from you. but do think of even the wording of the subject line she chose - 'should i be a friend or fink?' i don't think someone who'd choose these words truly wanted to be a 'fink' rather than a 'friend.
posted on June 11, 2001 10:59:19 AM new
I just read this entire thread and I have but one thing to add...
It's not money or lack of money that is the root of all evil, but rather the love of money that is the root of all evil.
Teresa
posted on June 11, 2001 11:04:32 AM new
I have a nephew who is severly retarded, he is 36 years old, with the mind of a two year old. His father is deceased so he receives 800.00 a month in SS. He lives at home with his mother, my sister in law. He has been in many day schools over the years, but in the last 5 years he has become more & more hard to handle in a group setting, so is no longer welcome to attend.
Now this is the part that gets me. First of all, his mother is not rich, but is far from poor. She owns her own home & lives comfortably on her income from investments & alimony paid from her second husband from whom she is almost divorced. She has contacted an agency that is working to get a government grant that will pay them, the agency, 22.000.00 a year to visit twice a week & take her son out for the day, to the mall, zoo, playground, lunch etc, to babysit him because he can only be in a one to one situation. I find it unbelievable that the government will provide education, companionship, babysitting or whatever you call it for this boy from cradle to the grave when they cannot provide money for a needy normal child for college, medical assistance or what ever so she he/she can grow up & become a contributing member of society, which my nephew will never be. If the need was there for my nephew I could understand this, but it certainly is not. This gets to me when I read some of the stories on this board of a genuine need for help & they are not getting it & my nephew is. Something has to change.
posted on June 11, 2001 11:29:23 AM new
Doesn't Ebay have a new rule against posting personal pics on auctions?
Thought I read a post about that somewhere.
I think posting personal pic especially of a child could lead to many problems not all people online are nice people especially if your address is home address.
Just a cautionary note.
In regard to Charity auction I personally think it in poor taste, on the same level as begging for money.
I would place the "charity" information on yourAbout me page and keep the item information on item page.
If you are not begging for money why mention it at all, whole thread leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
posted on June 11, 2001 11:48:31 AM new
"I also have a web sight with lots of juicy details about Allison and our family and also lots of neat things to buy. Take a look!"
Call me hyper-sensitive or sump-un' but the tone of this sentence creeps me out. I can't but feel there is some pimpin' going on here no matter what the intentions are.
arttsupplies
This is only the opinion of arttsupplies (webmaster) and NOT arttsupplies (shipping) and NOT arttsupplies (owner).
posted on June 11, 2001 12:07:59 PM new
I know that this is going to be unpopular..... However that has never stopped me before.
I don't bid on auctions for charities of any sort. Especially ones that I have never heard of.
I like to check things out before I donate to an organization and I think many others feel this way.
I do have a legal charity registered with the state of Kansas and in the process of being registered with the Federal Government.
What is the name of this charity? The name you use in your auctions, Allison Miller fund, is not registered with the state of Kanas. No charity with the name Allison in it is registered. Source of information: 785-296-4565 Kansas secretary of state offices, charitble organizations desk. Use the link below for more info on Kanas' requirements.
Justntyme seems to be an excellent seller.
I think that people may bid more due to the fact this is supposed to be a charity. Not everyone, some. Following are comments from justntyme's feedback profile. I didn't read all of the comments just a few.
The cd quality is not the best just pages scanned,happy money is 4 charity
Great eBayer......good cause...check it out...A++++
I have another question does the originator of this thread sometimes bid on your items?
posted on June 11, 2001 12:18:59 PM new
Artsupplies you took the words out of my mouth. OTOH, what charitable organization doesn't push the sick puppy angle?
Justntyme, you may want to rethink the wording on that one.
I also have a web sight with lots of juicy details about Allison and our family and also lots of neat things to buy
I don't buy what you sell online for myself, but I do occasionally for my sister and it's a bit of a turn off.
Whatever your motives are, your message is muddy.
I can't say I blame you, it's a tough road. But may want to consider your message, it's a little mixed.
I would separate out the personal message from the "lots of neat things to buy" a little more. Html paragraph breaks <p> are an easy way to start.
Take care.
ps. Though I wouldn't put my sick anyone in my auctions unless it was a registerd 501(c)(3). To do otherwise might get you in trouble.
posted on June 11, 2001 12:52:17 PM new
Somehow this whole thing just leaves a person wondering!! Up and Up -- who knows -- I sure don't -- but I would be very worried about the safety angle -- too many weirdos out there -- and every bidder will have your address -- too scary.
posted on June 11, 2001 04:55:51 PM new
I have tried to hold my tongue on this one but here goes.
I have a son who was born with spina bifida and I would NEVER consider mentioning that in an auction of mine.
If it is not to get sympathy, why say 50% goes to the fund. After all, you are the fund, where does the other 50% go?
I also work with the mental health association in my area, and as far as I know any Foundation has a board with board members. What do they think of your doing this?
In my state, if you mention a charity in any type of advertising, you must do a full accounting of the $$ coming into that charity.
Finally, I do not think the federal dept you are trying to get a registration from would look kindly on this practice.
posted on June 11, 2001 05:34:25 PM new
justntyme,
My heart goes out to you and your family. Not pity; rather compassion and empathy. My best wishes for Allison and prayers that she recieves all the medication and medical treatment available for CF.
I find it very difficult to understand why anyone can fault another for doing whatever it takes to raise dollars for the benefit of another. Whether that benefit is in part, or in whole, the motivation in justntyme's auctions is very clear. There is no wrong or shame in "using" ebay to help achieve this family's goal.
Ebay has become a pheltora of Sellers out for their own self-serving interest (not necessarily a wrong agenda, per se). Not only is it inspiring to me, and I presume to others, that justntyme's auctions are not aimed as such, but I as a Buyer can do my small bit in aiding another.
For the life of me, I cannot understand the original poster of this thread and the meager concerns she had over how justntyme's auctions were being listed or her purpose in so doing. As a "friend" did you fail to comprehend that justntyme's family is in need for a very good and quite understandable "cause"? Are you so hung up in the twisted legalities & requirements to become a certified "charity" that you cannot see that even without certification there remains a cause!?!? Have you failed to notice that in the auction listing, no where is is it referred to as a "charity" rather a "fund"??
I not only appluad you justntyme but I think you have shown us all that eBay is not just about the Sellers looking for ways to maximize or supplement their income for their families and/or the Corporations/Agencies they represent. Ebay can also be part of the means for a parent to rise up to the challenge facing them when their child is in need.
Personally, I would rather know that my purchases on eBay are helping out another in crisis/need than providing yet another luxury in someone's life. I do not begrudge the profits of those that work hard at selling on eBay for personal materialistic gain. Likewise, sharing the struggle one little girl and her family are having in meeting the financial impact of a devasting disorder and then DOING something about it by selling on ebay, is not only to be admired and respected but seen as the courageous act it truly is.
I must have slept through the day our world became so cynical that a "friend" thinks "finking" is even a consideration in such a suitation as this family is facing.
Best of luck to you and yours justntyme. May your ebay business thrive and help not only Allison, but all others that can benefit!
posted on June 11, 2001 05:58:19 PM newAs far as forgiving her, I have. I am not a malicious person. I could say many things here to hurt her, but I haven't. I am not planning to continue contact with her this point either.
As I said, I am sure you will be looking for a new friend. I suggested you forgive her because you personally don't need the bitterness and anger that I am sure you are feeling, and justifiably so.
posted on June 11, 2001 06:04:35 PM new
Thanks Mitzee
Several people have made a comment in wonder about where the other 50% goes.
Lets see, I have bought myself a beautiful mention on the tallest hill in Kansas overlooking the sea. I have 25 horses and Live in the lap of luxury with servants buzzing around me 24 hours a day. LOL
Not really, where do you think the things I sell come from. The majority of the other 50% goes back into the murchandice. The other 10% pays for the Internet, printer paper, shipping supplies, accountant, etc.
No pampering here. I don't tan; I have no credit cards, no health club membership, no fake nails or hair salon visits, no time for that stuff. I DO spoil my kid, but who doesn’t. I am paid by the fund just like an employee. How much? Enough to pay for my gas and lunch at McDonalds once a week.
It amazes me how narrow-minded people can be. I HELP A LOT OF PEOPLE!!! I WOULD HELP YOU IF YOU NEEDED IT. I don't ask for "donations". Why do I tell people where 50% goes? I would like to think there are enough people out there like me who like to get warm fuzzes when they help other people. I know I can't make everyone happy. I can only pray that the people who are so cynical about "charity" auctions and fund raising never find themselves in a TRUE need for financial help and have no way to get it accept from someone like me. BUt, if that is ever the case, I will be here to help.
