posted on January 10, 2001 09:07:44 AM new
My daughter came home from one of her first dates and was saying goodnight on the front porch. Our dog, a doberman, walked over and sniffed the boyfriend. He then lifted his leg and let loose on the boy. I still miss that dog. Never did see the boy again.
posted on January 10, 2001 09:46:17 AM new
dcj - loved that application!
The daughter says that this guy was a perfect gentlemen... even opened doors for her... didn't even TRY to kiss her...
The shocker - she says that the guy I liked so much about a month ago... clean cut, yes mamn, no mamn, congenial (decent looking)kinda kid was the only one who has ever gotten out of line with her... looks can be deceiving... I knew that -
I may not yank the ear ring out... but if they have another date I think I'll make him check it in before leaving the house. "You can have it back when you bring my daughter home." LOL Yes, I would do that.
posted on January 10, 2001 12:11:52 PM new
hey mybiddness, sorry if I scared you . Some do wear tounge piercings for doin' the nasty but just as many wear them for fashion and as a style thing. Kinda like some of my friends will dress up in wild bondage wear (black leather, handcuffs and studs) to go to a club, but they aren't into it as anything other than a fashion statement or as shock value. Our culture appropriates images here and there, wherever it finds something interesting, and then regurgitates them back to us on television and in magazines and the original meaning of this or that clothing item or accessory is often lost. So your daughter's date could easily be a guy who just wants to identify himself with a certain look. In my experience, a tattoo or a piercing on a person of that age says "I'm original and daring and I don't want to fit in, I'm not worried about what other people think of me, I'm an outsider to mainstream culture". Some may say "I just like it, I think it looks cool" and I'm sure they do but I think underneath it is a desire to set themselves apart from the neatly packaged, mainstream Britney Spears/Backstreet Boys culture. Ironically most of us learn as we get older (and I speak from the old age of 33--gawd! get the geritol!) that that kind of "originality" or "differentness" is really just more of the same old conformity in a different direction. At any rate, it really doesn't affect what the PERSON is---just how he/she is perceived.
On the other hand some people get tattoos for deeply serious reasons. I do know people of all ages with tattoos and some of them are really meaningful & special. One older woman I know has a tattoo of her father's face which she got on her shoulder after he passed away. He is "always with her" literally looking over her shoulder. It was a tribute to him. Another person I know was pierced as a religious/commitment thing, instead of getting a wedding ring and I thought that that was cool. So you can't really know exactly what this kid is until you know him better. Or he might just like pleasin' his woman.
Me personally I don't mind tattoos or piercings. I don't have any but I considered a tattoo in the late 80s when everyone was getting them. I decided if it wasn't meaningful it wasn't worth it and passed. Kinda glad I did. But you'd be surprised how many people do have them.
posted on January 10, 2001 12:58:20 PM newmybiddnessmy sympathy is still with you, but let me tell you about my son. My 16 year old son - going on 36 (he thinks) is at present going through the black stage (gothic), he has dyed his hair black, wears mostly black, especially when going out. The brightest thing about him is his smile -(which he flashes at all the right times). He does have 2 earrings, but none through his tongue. His father tells him to get a nose ring so that he can attach a chain to it and tie son up.
I look at him and see an extremely confident, good looking kid, but now I wonder what other parents think - cause I think if he weren't my son and if he was wanting to date my daughter I might be worried.
We have a young guy down at our local shops who has a tongue ring - I call him 'Stud'. When I first saw it I almost felt compelled to peek a look at it every time I went near him - silly I know. Can you imagine the pain it must cause to have one put through your tongue. Believe me I'm not sure if the thought of it giving pleasure would out weigh the thought of the amount of pain it would be to have it put in there in the first place.
Good luck with your daughters friend, he will probably turn out to be a lovely kid - just ask his mother, she'll tell you her boy is a good boy.
posted on January 10, 2001 01:06:12 PM new
Looks definately can be deceiving. If she said he was a total gentleman you might be missing the fact that most girls are put off by his looks so he doesn't date much - and his inexperience just might be good for your sanity!
Oh, and it is the pretty boys to watch out for ....
To feel fortunate please go to drdrew.com then click on message boards and then sex
While you are there, you might want to sign in and answer a few questions. Hold on to your chairs, folks. You are about to enter the REALITY ZONE!
Sorry I can't tell you all what my name is there ... you just might learn a little bit too much about me! lol
posted on January 10, 2001 01:54:10 PM new
LOL mybidness!!! Reminds me of when my date came to the door with the spikey helmut and the harley waiting curbside. Daddy was lucky the date didnt ride it all the way up to the front door, lol. Surprisingly enough, Daddy and Steve (now my ex hubby) got along famously when they first met, spike helmet, tattoos and all
edited to add my sons didnt do the harely thing. They were surf bums, with clunker cars, surfboards on the roof, haircuts that are bowl shaped and lots of Motely Crue faces on their clothes. Now, they are married and gone. Hallalujah
posted on January 10, 2001 02:34:40 PM new
No joke. I honestly want to know.
My son, who's an art student, got his first piercing the summer between high school and college - sort of a rite-of-passage thing. (Mom paid - we went to Rings of Desire in New Orleans, which was tons of fun.) His father went into orbit: "How am I going to explain this to our friends??" (No joke. That's exactly what Dad's worry was.)Undaunted - and apparently unconcerned about Dad's status among his friends, my boy got his second piercing about six months later, when his GF went for her first - sort of a bonding experience. He later decided the second one wasn't "who he is", so he abandoned it. We're both on an endless search for the perfect koi tattoo AND the perfect tattoo artist. Any suggestions in the New Orleans area?
A couple of Val's rugby mates have tongue piercings. It's kind of mesmerizing. Certainly keeps your eyes on somebody's mouth when they're talking!
posted on January 10, 2001 02:43:18 PM new
Mybiddness: When my daughter got married I was SO glad that her dating days were over. I've never seen such a parade of losers! Then she found Cory and he was a Marine and a great guy. Still is. But they are ending the marriage anyway. So as most of you know, she is living with us now. We've been hoping she would find someone new and, yes, move out! Haha. But seriously, she has a new fella. He's a state highway patrolman, same age as she is, and seems to be a nice guy! Can we be so lucky???
Hang in there, Mybiddness: she'll get over this phase... I hope...
Well, right or wrong, I think that many people percieve body piercing as a little deviant.
Now, I admit that to do so is a kind of prejudice that is wrong so I'm
trying to understand why I think that it's so strange.
Do body piercers want to separate themselves from society...
a sort of non conformist act or ritual?
Do they just like the look?
Do they want to piss off their parents?
As has been suggested is there a sexual component?
I simply don't know.
I can accept earlobe piercing but tongue piercing seems a little
radical.
posted on January 10, 2001 05:49:55 PM new
HJW - Naaahhh.... that's not it. It would only be devient bahavior if he pierced MY tongue. As it is, he's just dancing to his own music.
HCQ - I think the thing that got me was a combination of his overall STRONG persona AND the tongue thing. I'm used to the daughter dating guys that look like kids to me. This guy looked like a man!
Also, I look at the pierced tongue and I can't help but think about how much that's gotta hurt... major pain. And, he went through that kind of pain ON PURPOSE??? OUCH! I think a lot of musicians/artist enjoy using their bodies as ways to express themselves. They're the kind I find myself gravitating toward at a party. Much better to talk to people who don't look like, talk like, think like everyone else. Having said that... having a guy that fit that look dating my daughter blew my mind. IOW, I still think of her as a babe. (as in my baby)
When she and her long time boyfriend broke up a few months ago I told her to go for the smorgasborg... don't get hung up on one type of guy cause life is like a box of chocolates.... The thing is I'm very used to seeing salisbury steak and green beans on her smorgasborg. In walks alligator stew! Hell, for all I know, alligator stew might be the best thing on the menu, but if I'm not expecting to see it.... you get it.
As for the tattoo's - if needles weren't involved I'd probably be covered with them.
brighid868 - I have to admit if he had shown up in bondage wear he would have walked out the door over my dead body.
posted on January 10, 2001 08:40:56 PM newHJW:Well, right or wrong, I think that many people percieve body piercing as a little deviant. Now, I admit that to do so is a kind of prejudice that is wrong so I'm trying to understand why I think that it's so strange. Do body piercers want to separate themselves from society... a sort of non conformist act or ritual? Do they just like the look? Do they want to piss off their parents? As has been suggested is there a sexual component? I simply don't know.
Depending on the "piercee" any one or a combination of those reasons might apply.
I can accept earlobe piercing but tongue piercing seems a little radical.
That's becasue it wasn't part of the "norm" you grew up with. When men began to pierce their ears again (it *was* quite common in past centuries) in the 60s & 70s, *that* was conisdered radical.
I take a live & let live attitude. Piercing of any body part isn't something that *I* would do, but I see no problem with others doing so. I do think people getting their tongues pierced should be given the realities of coming damage to teeth & higher possibilities of infection, though...
Like the daughter's "scary" date, I myself am outside "society's norms." Both of my legs are completely covered with tattoos (not splotches--complete, integrated pictures). Even in an age when tattoos have become more common, I am looked at askance by quite a few people when I go out in shorts. Society dictates that it is "wrong" for a woman to be as tattooed as I am. People are constantly shocked & surprised to learn that I am a children's librarian--I suppose I should find a less "normal" occupation... I have had people say rude (& sometimes vicious)things to me simply because of some marks on my legs. It really gets my goat on occasion that people are willing to look no further than outward appearances before judging someone. I, BTW, was attracted to tattoos at a very young age (about 4 yrs) & always wanted to look closer at any I saw, despite my mother's comments on how "bad" & "ugly" *she* thought they were. I got my first one when I was 21 or 22 and have added more over the years. I've never regretted getting them, either--because *I* like them, and that's what counts.
darn UBB
[ edited by bunnicula on Jan 10, 2001 08:45 PM ]
posted on January 10, 2001 09:40:52 PM new
Some fellows do their own or trade tattoos in prison with makeshift equipment. I have often wondered if it was boredom or an identity thing. I have had a hole punched through my hand in an industrial accident where a machine tool cutter exploded and a piece went through just like a bullet. It really did not hurt that bad until the evening when it swoll up and got stiff. Saw a guy do the same thing with a high powered laser set to cut half inch steel plate, and it was not even as messy - did not bleed at all as it was self cauterizing.
posted on January 10, 2001 09:56:38 PM new
gravid....OUCH!!! Talk about a piercing.
Bunniculla - I'm curious. On a scale of 1-10 how painful is a tattoo needle as compared to getting a regular shot with a regular needle. A friend of mine said that her tattoo was extremely painful. She probably would have rated it a 20. How long does it take? I mean, do you sit there for hours in pain or do they do it fairly quickly? Daughter wants to have a yellow mustang put on her hip. I told her fine as long as she pays for it. I don't think she's really serious but if she did do it I bet she'd get half done and make them stop. She hates needles as much as I do.
posted on January 10, 2001 10:07:05 PM new
The thing I don't like about tongue rings is some people seem to play with them with their tongue, and it effects their speech. It's hard to carry on a conversation and watch their mouth doing all these weird things.
I pierced my ears myself and did them all the way up. The higher on the ear the more pain and those kept getting infected so I just have three in each ear now.
Tattoos hurt more in different parts of the body too, especially around the ankle. The back is a breeze.
Some jailhouse tattoos are nice, but usually they get the one's with certain meanings behind them. A lot of guys won't get them anymore because of HIV and Hepatitis fear.
posted on January 10, 2001 11:24:34 PM newmybiddness: how long a tattoo takes depends on how big or intricate it is. A small one can be done in as little as 30 minutes. Those as extensive as mine are done by the hour. My legs have about 38 hours of work on them done over a long period. The longest session I have done is 3 hours--it gets too tender for me after that.
How painful a tattoo is to get depends on the part of the body. Places with little flesh between the bone & the skin, like the kneecap or the head will hurt more than fleshy areas. Truthfully, I don't find it all that painful. There is a first "shock" but that goes away--kind of like having a contact lens in your eye, after a while your brain stops telling you about it & goes on "ignore." I take a book along with me and read while the artist works. If you are tense, it will hurt more.
It's not like getting a shot (which I don't like getting, myself). The "needles" actually don't look like needles at all.
about your daughter:
How old is she? No *reputable* tattoo parlor will work on her unless she is 18 years old. If she is under 18, tell her to wait--her skin will still be there when she is.
As I have so many, I get asked for advice a lot...please pass this on to your daughter:
1) Think long & hard about whether you *really* want to get a tattoo...because it is for the rest of your life. (laser removal is expensive, painful, and not always complete)
2) Think long & hard about what *kind* of tattoo you are going to get...because it is for the rest of your life. Are you going to like that cutsie fairy, skull, or whatever 10-20 years from now? Never, never, NEVERhave a name tattooed on yourself--if/when you break up with that person you will have to go through the expense of having it tattooed over or removed by laser (which doesn't alway do the job completely, remember).
3) After you have decided on 1 & 2, think long & hard about *where* you put the tattoo...because it is for the rest of your life. Do you want it where it can be seen all the time? On your hip, buttock, shoulder, breast? Whatever you do, don't have it put on your hand, a place used traditionally by gangs, and you don't want that reputation (unless you are in a gang? nah.)
4) don't go to the first shop you see. Look around at the tattoo parlors in your area--see what kind of work they are turning out, how good it is. Look at their flash (patterns), photo books, art on customers in the shop, etc. What prices are the various shops charging? Do you like the artist? If not, move on. Ask about their practices--do they use an autoclave to clean their needles? Use new needles each time? Wear gloves while working on customers? If the answer is no to these questions, go to a different shop--fast. BTW, you get what you pay for: tattoos done by amateurs (ie "friends" look it.
UBB & I just don't get along!
[ edited by bunnicula on Jan 10, 2001 11:26 PM ]
posted on January 11, 2001 06:35:22 AM new
Why don't we start a new trend...A very large
ring through the nose of all males. That,
I could accept with no problem.
My Mississippi upbringing does not preclude
thoughts in that direction.
But, I'll have to admit that if a man
arrives to date my daughter with a ring
through his mouth, I will have to call
a mayday number.
posted on January 11, 2001 08:01:56 AM new
ROFL
I don't know how it could be so funny here because when my 17yo brings home some of her friends they are certainly not this amusing.
My best friend's daughter has a tongue ring (and yes she knew about it) but we could not even imagine why they would want to do this.
Have these children never bit their tongue?
Owee! Sexual Play Toy? Try swinging from the chandilier, not anything that involves holes in body parts that don't normally have holes. (Children under 18 do not try this, professional only!)
Anyway this brings to mind an article I read some months back regarding a woman who had her nipples pierced (another owee in my book!) and she thouroughtly investigated the place where she had it done, gloves and autoclave, good recommendations. She got an infection and nearly killed her. She ended up having a mastectomy. Sad, huh!
I guess I am an old codger! Safe sex, you know is having a padded headboard!
posted on January 11, 2001 08:47:40 AM new
I'm of the old school.
As long as my daughter is a minor and I am responsible for her, she will not be permitted to have any permanent alterations such as tattoos or piercings made to her body.
When she celebrates her 18th birthday then she is free to do as she pleases. She will always be my daughter and I will always care very deeply for her but she has the right to make her own decisions.
posted on January 11, 2001 11:04:39 AM newThey're the kind I find myself gravitating toward at a party.....Having said that... having a guy that fit that look dating my daughter blew my mind. IOW, I still think of her as a babe. (as in my baby)
I figured it was something like that, mybidness. I think it's an inescapable pitfall of parenthood.
I'm trying to understand why I think that it's so strange. Do body piercers want to separate themselves from society... a sort of non conformist act or ritual? Do [/b]they[/b] just like the look? Do they want to piss off their parents? As has been suggested is there a sexual component? I simply don't know.
HJW, the questions you're asking don't seem to be focusing on why you "think that it's so strange," but on "their" motives. Do you mean that the reason for your feelings is that you're perhaps not comfortable with nonconformity in appearance or behavior, unfamiliar rituals, or "deviant" sex - and body piercing suggests those things to you?
[ edited by HartCottageQuilts on Jan 11, 2001 11:05 AM ]
posted on January 11, 2001 11:07:07 AM new
Chococake & Bunnicula - Thanks for the info. She's almost 19 - second year of college. Technically old enough to decide. BUT - this is such a permanent decision. I suggested that she see if she can find a temporary tattoo. Is there such a thing? I mean other than the ones that come in a box of cereal.
I'm pretty sure it's a phase she's going through... A good friend of hers just got a butterfly on her breast... THAT'S when the whole thing started. My first instinct was to just let her decide for herself. But, since there's a possibility of infection.... makes me rethink the whole idea. I sense a "shrieking mom" voice coming on!
posted on January 11, 2001 12:00:11 PM new
I got my tatoo when I was a month shy of 19. April 1st to be exact......wasn't planned that way, and made for a harder time proving it was real. My brother wanted to rub alchol on it.....FAT CHANCE!!
I have a Mickey Mouse on the front of my thigh. Yes, it is a bit 'cutesy'....but Mickey has *always* been my 'thing'. I picked my thigh because it is almost always hidden....they only time it is visable is when I'm naked or in a swim suit.
Would I do it again? I don't know....sometimes I think yes and sometimes I think no. I do need to get in and have him touched up a bit, the white in his gloves is faiding a bit.
posted on January 11, 2001 12:06:22 PM newmybiddness: Yes, there are plenty of temporary tattoos around. They last about 1-2 weeks.
As for infection: even with all the tattoos I have, I have never gotten an infection. The key is to only go to artists that either autoclave or use new needles each time--and to follow the instructions they give out on the care of the tattoo while it is healing. Keep it clean (wash gently with soap & water); avoid exposing it to sun for a week; no scratching--it *will* itch, though, so try slapping; do *not* use neosporin or bacytracin (they increase scabbing)--I have always used Noxema: it cools, medicates & keeps it moist (necessary for reduced scabbing).
People who get infections are those that do not follow the above advice.
posted on January 11, 2001 01:11:24 PM new
Thanks Bunnicula I'll make sure that she has all this info to think about. She's usually not very impulsive, so hopefully she'll give it all some serious thought first.
BTW, her date last night stayed for dinner and a movie with the family. No tongue jewelry or otherwise, No tattoos - just a nasty little rash on his face... He was so polite - even took off his shoes before he came in the door. Sweet kid - but boring.
posted on January 11, 2001 01:12:32 PM new
I don't know anyone who has gotten an infection. I only mentioned infection with jailhouse tattoos because that isn't the cleanest place to get one. LOL But, I do had that itching!
I love tattoos if they are nicely done (on me or anyone else). I would do it again. My favorite is the bird on my back. It's unusual and has great colors. He did a beautiful job.
posted on January 11, 2001 01:21:24 PM newChococake The bell that went off for me on infections was more the idea of shops not using clean equipment. To me, that makes it all even more serious than just the "it's permanent" issue.
Now, what kind of a bird is it? If I were brave - and, I'm not... I'd have a bird on my back too - probably peeking around my shoulder - that would be fun.
Never did see the boy again.
I figured it was something like that, mybidness. I think it's an inescapable pitfall of parenthood.