jtland
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posted on February 20, 2001 08:28:01 PM new
Hi, Shosh. 
Hey, I'm a Universal Life Church ordained minister, too! I always thought it sounded like I should sell insurance, so maybe I could come up with a program based around that. I need to figure out where to apply for these funds...
I might caution you on those Earth Based Shaman ideas, though. I'm afraid pagans might find it a little harder to get those wonderful funds. Ole Dubya stated during the campaign that he didn't think Wicca was a *real* religion. Too bad for him that the Supreme Court disagrees (at least for now  ).
Nope, you'd be much better off as Scientologists, Moonies, or heck...just join the Universal Life Church and sell insurance like the rest of us. 
Lisa
edited for clarity...I believe all religions, including Wicca should be treated equally. And that Dubya is an idiot. JMO
[ edited by jtland on Feb 20, 2001 08:45 PM ]
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Antiquary
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posted on February 20, 2001 08:28:09 PM new
Sounds like all the most lucrative programs end up going to the devil, Shosh. Of course, they could be on the University of Esoteria faculty, which would support my earlier Faustian theory of the Bush proposal.
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rawbunzel
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posted on February 20, 2001 08:39:24 PM new
Antiquary, You may now officially call me Pastor Robin .I have just become an ordained minister for the Universal Life Church. [well as soon as my email confirmation gets here! ] Federal funding here I come!!!I can now perform weddings!!! Any takers???
http://www.ulc.net/
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Antiquary
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posted on February 20, 2001 08:54:32 PM new
LOL Robin.
And it's free. Only two concerns though. Pastor as a title sounds pretty pedestrian. Can you still do the Doc? Know of any sites that offer elevation to sainthood?
I also noticed the very prominent online confessionallink. Wonder what they do with those? HMMMM
Now I'm all uncertain again. And of course the esoterics do have their own university. But ULC is still free, but what if they decide to start charging, like Paypal or one of those.
Congratulations, but I've now got to carefully think through my options.
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rawbunzel
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posted on February 20, 2001 09:05:45 PM new
LOL Antiquary! I would rather be Doc so feel free to refer to me as such! 
Becoming a minister in the UL church is free but they do charge for your certificate...both pocket and wall.
The Esoterics might have some advantages. I just felt it might be best if my husband and I belonged to the same church. Easier that way. Less arguments.
Doc Robin
[ edited by rawbunzel on Feb 20, 2001 09:06 PM ]
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Antiquary
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posted on February 20, 2001 09:21:49 PM new
Oh I see. So these words on their home page aren't exactly true,
You may become a legally ordained minister for life, without cost, and without question of faith.
Now I'm disillusioned. Wise choice though to keep religious affiliations within the family consistent.
I don't suppose that it would matter much to Sam, though, one way or the other. And I doubt that my wife wants a second career yet.
I may scout around a bit more though before I make any hard and fast commitments.
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jtland
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posted on February 20, 2001 09:25:30 PM new
Antiquary...Sign up, then print out your own certificate on a laser printer. Problem solved!
Of course, if you want the doctorate degree, that costs extra. Sainthood is only $10, though, I think!
Lisa
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Antiquary
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posted on February 20, 2001 09:33:31 PM new
LOL Lisa,
I knew that there must be a loophole somewhere. I'm all for cutting overhead and could live without the sainthood if it is permissible for one to be addressed as "your eminence." I do believe that helps in ministering to the social service needs of the majority.
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jtland
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posted on February 20, 2001 09:38:22 PM new
Yes, Your Eminence, I think that would be allowed.
I'm really tempted on that Guru title, though. I'm not really sure what a Guru is...but I've always been impressed by it.
Rev. Lisa
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Antiquary
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posted on February 20, 2001 09:47:41 PM new
Yes, Guru does have a certain mystical fascination. But as a career choice I would be leery; it could disqualify you for all the best government approved contracts. Of course, they would never admit any discrimination, but still I'm skeptical, so sticking to the old Anglo-Saxon standbys.
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jtland
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posted on February 20, 2001 09:54:33 PM new
So true, so unfortunately true, Your Eminence.
I considered "Apostle of Humility", but then realized that even considering it kind of put me out of the running.
So now I'm thinking about "Universal Philosopher of Absolute Reality" or perhaps more simply, "The Very Esteemed Rev. Lisa".
What do you think?
Lisa
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krs
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posted on February 20, 2001 10:05:05 PM new
Antiquary,
There are other advantages that may not have occured to you.
My wife has been obligated to refer (defer) to me as I'm always Right Reverend krs.
Some things money can't buy.
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Antiquary
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posted on February 20, 2001 10:10:27 PM new
 I think that you've discovered the perfect definitive title. In fact, you might just bypass the whole miasma of government redtape and daily drudgery of actually having to work with people and setup your own accelerated cyberschool of divinity to prepare for the onslaught of demand that the new religious economy will spawn.
Now I'll have to sleep on possibities to accelerate my own fame and fortune. It's a competetive field you know.
Thanks for all the help brain-storming tonight.
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Antiquary
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posted on February 20, 2001 10:13:12 PM new
KRS,
I hadn't even thought about the domestic perks yet. The possibilities are mind-boggling.
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gravid
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posted on February 20, 2001 11:42:25 PM new
I want to help - please let me know where to ship your snakes. You know, these boys are bad enough y'all better send a waiver first 'cause ya won't have time to waiver if they get a fang in y'all.
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HJW
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posted on February 21, 2001 05:51:37 AM new
I have suddenly found religion.
I'm changing my name from Heretic Helen to
Helen's Haven
Now, I have to convince my husband that he is
living in a haven
with
Saint Helen.
That may be the toughest part of the job... but
when the money starts flowing in, he will
become a true believer or my first
ex-husband.
Helen
edited to add another exciting thought.
[ edited by HJW on Feb 21, 2001 06:07 AM ]
[ edited by HJW on Feb 21, 2001 06:09 AM ]
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HJW
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posted on February 21, 2001 05:55:48 AM new
Gravid,
Your imagination is awesome!
Helen
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inside
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posted on February 21, 2001 05:58:23 AM new
The Grifters are on a feeding frenzy.
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krs
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posted on February 21, 2001 06:30:05 AM new
I'm going to shave my head today.
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snowyegret
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posted on February 21, 2001 06:50:36 AM new
Should be some excess pork needed here
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mark090
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posted on February 21, 2001 06:58:54 AM new
Now I know where to get the extra funding for my Souls for Satan Home for Missing Children.
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Shoshanah
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posted on February 21, 2001 09:36:34 AM new
...'mornin, y'a all...(Man! It's hard to type with a southern accent...)
ken...Wait till the weather becomes more clement...I would not go around bald-headed at this time of year if I were you....and just think of all the sea gulls in the area where you live... At least, cover your head with saran wrap...
********
Gosh Shosh!
About Me
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rawbunzel
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posted on February 21, 2001 11:56:37 AM new
YES! My ordination email has arrived!I am now officialy a minister of the Universal Life Church! Now to pick a title and an Honorary Degree! I do like Universal Philosopher of Absolute Reality but I see Lisa might pick that. Is there room for two? So many decisions!
KRS you should cover your head with tin foil not saran wrap. Keeps off the seagull stuff and you can communicate with aliens. [ask Gaffan, I believe he's tried it]
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krs
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posted on February 21, 2001 12:34:37 PM new
I could use a towel. It'd help with my application for bush money.
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HJW
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posted on February 21, 2001 12:56:57 PM new
Krs, You are having a lot of head problems
with this religion thing. First you are
shaving your head. Now, you want a towel...
for your head?
Helen
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krs
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posted on February 21, 2001 01:06:51 PM new
I'm swamiing upstream, I know, but if Rev. Moon can get money then I should if I just ohmphasize my most worthy aspects.
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HJW
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posted on February 21, 2001 01:13:59 PM new
http://slate.msn.com/Features/faith/faith.asp
world faith based...
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jamesoblivion
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posted on February 21, 2001 01:25:54 PM new
From the article: "National Association of Amateur Submarine Captains"
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krs
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posted on February 21, 2001 03:44:18 PM new
"Separately, White House spokesman Ari Fleischer said that George W. Bush favored changing the slogan on U.S. coinage and tender from "In God We Trust" to "God Help Us." This phrasing "better reflects the president's feelings about the coming four years," Fleischer said.
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Antiquary
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posted on February 21, 2001 05:30:59 PM new
Helen
That's one of the funniest (I think that was the intention) articles that I've read in a while. It's hard to choose just one but I liked this part:
The faith-based defense would be nondenominational and designed to protect Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, and Wiccans, as well as Christians, officials said. (For technical reasons, it is unclear whether nonbelievers can be protected.) Pentagon sources say the system is code-named Rapture.
Gravid, not to worry. The snakes are all metaphorical.
Robin,
Yes, Lisa captured the best business name, but I'm glad that you're well on your way. Sam is proving to be obstinate about the therapy angle so I've spent all my time counselling with him which has led me to the consideration of specializing in faith-based vocational counselling. That's caused me to then reconsider the merits of Ashcroft's ritual of annoiting with oil when new job opportunities are imminent. All of this is much more complex than I originally anticipated but I'm still dedicated.
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