posted on March 15, 2001 04:09:46 PM new
Spazmodeus: The phrase I am familar with is, "Cut you off.", although my feeling still stand.
At this point, if you don't like it, feel free to stuff it in your hat and smoke it.
Zilvy: What can I say? Perhaps it was your turn in the barrel? I've enjoyed your thread as well as has everyone I've sent the link to. If that leads some to think I'm just wicked....well, tough on them. Consider the source.
posted on March 15, 2001 04:21:20 PM new
Now look you two address the topic not the
poster or something like that...now that I have made my dramatic Modest Porposal I don't want to get shut down. Anyone seen any Rock throwers??? CRIPES I forgot to put a smiley face in...don't get mad.
[ edited by zilvy on Mar 15, 2001 04:23 PM ]
posted on March 15, 2001 04:41:27 PM new
A place to kick back, relax, and have fun! Share a story, tell a joke, write a poem, make a friend...and that's what its all about You put your right hand in, you put your right hand out, etc.,etc.,etc.
posted on March 15, 2001 04:58:09 PM newSmithyriddles? You were doin good up to that point just watch it kiddo!
May you have warm words on a cold evening,
A full moon on a dark night,
And the road downhill all the way to your door
[ edited by zilvy on Mar 17, 2001 06:54 PM ]
posted on March 15, 2001 05:15:10 PM new
Whats a smithyriddle? (I asked an irish friend of mine to tell me what to type, and thats what he came up with. Maybe I should have asked what it meant before posting it?)
posted on March 15, 2001 05:21:43 PM new
Don't be upset Hepburn probably garters...that's my guess since your were going to gather up my pettiskirts.
As I said watch it Kiddo!!
I'm sitting here ROFLMAO thinking, yup, it might be a good idea to know what you are going to type before you put out into cyberspace. It is a real conundrum isn't it?
posted on March 15, 2001 06:31:53 PM new
What is looooong and HARD on an Irishman??
Third grade.
BTW, I'm an Irish Catholic, red-headed Bridget, and march in the St. Patrick's Day Parade every year. The best Irish jokes I've ever heard were always from a fellow Irishman. We love to laugh.
posted on March 15, 2001 10:24:28 PM new
Zilvy - I love the Irish songs, poems and blessings and I'm not even Irish. They just seem to be so positive and optimistic.
posted on March 15, 2001 10:32:13 PM newLinda_K I loved reading that poem... what a perfect way to end the evening.
Zilvy Thanks for all the laughs. I've only had the pleasure of knowing one true Irishman in my life. He was as sober as they come as far as liquor but so joyful of life that he seemed drunk with it. What a great way to live, huh?
posted on March 15, 2001 10:41:51 PM new
lotsafuzz - That's true We will be joining our friends for a wonderful cornbeef and cabbage dinner. Can't wait.
posted on March 15, 2001 10:42:16 PM new
I have been happily browsing sites for the past few hours, and came across this Irish Blessing. So before retiring for the night, I wanted to post it here:
Here's to you and yours
And to mine and ours.
And if mine and ours
Ever come across to you and yours,
I hope you and yours will do
As much for mine and ours
As mine and ours have done
For you and yours!
posted on March 16, 2001 12:08:40 AM new
Zilvy, this thread is very funny! I have enjoyed every joke.
I am Black Irish too-almost half of me anyway.[my stomach must be the Norwegian part because I cannot eat corned beef!]My full Irish Grampa was the greatest man I ever knew! He was funny and never said a bad word about anyone.
He had a sparkle in his eye and a most wonderful laugh. He would have loved this thread. [he never drank a drop either but he woudn't have minded any of this]
Can you imagine the jokes in my family? Lutefisk and corned beef! Lutherens and Catholics! May the Saints preserve us!
Ah,Well! Enjoy the day and let not the nay-sayers get in your way!
posted on March 16, 2001 09:03:34 AM new
Oh, me name is MacNamara, I'm the leader of the band
Although we're few in numbers, we're the finest in the land
We play at wakes and weddings and at every fancy ball
And when we play the funerals, we play the March from Saul
Oh, the drums go bang and the cymbals clang and the horns they blaze away
McCarthy pumps the old bassoon while I the pipes do play
And Henessee Tennessee tootles the flute and the music is somethin' grand
A credit to old Ireland is MacNamara's band
Right now we are rehearsin' for a very swell affair
The annual celebration, all the gentry will be there
When General Grant to Ireland came he took me by the hand
Says he, "I never saw the likes of MacNamara's Band"
Oh, the drums go bang and the cymbals clang and the horns they blaze away
McCarthy pumps the old bassoon while I the pipes do play
And Henessee Tennessee tootles the flute and the music is somethin' grand
A credit to old Ireland is MacNamara's band
Oh, my name is Uncle Julius and from Sweden I did come
To play with MacNamara's Band and beat the big bass drum
And when I march along the street the ladies think I'm grand
They shout, "There's Uncle Julius playin' with an Irish band!"
Oh, I wear a bunch of shamrocks and a uniform of green
And I'm the funniest lookin' Swede that you have ever seen
There is O'Brians, O'Ryans, O'Sheehans and Meehans, they come from Ireland
But, by yimminy, I'm the only Swede in MacNamara's Band
Oh, the drums go bang and the cymbals clang and the horns they blaze away
McCarthy pumps the old bassoon while I the pipes do play
And Henessee Tennessee tootles the flute and the music is somethin' grand
A credit to old Ireland is MacNamara's band
posted on March 16, 2001 12:44:33 PM new
What do you have with your Corned Beef? We have potatoes, turnip, cabbage, carrots and couple of boiled onions. Any surprises or differences. Boo Hoo I'm not having mine til tammara!!
posted on March 16, 2001 01:01:48 PM new
"Irish Prayer"
Murphy was staggering home with a pint of booze in his back pocket when he slipped and fell heavily. Struggling to his feet, he felt something wet running down his leg. "Please Lord", he implored, "let it be blood!!"
"Irish Shopping"
McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave. "S'cuse me," said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done, "what was that all about?" "Nothin', said the Irishman, "my wife just sent me out for a jar of olives!"
You've Been Out Drinking Again"
An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar is closing. So the Irishman stood up to leave fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside, he stood up and fell on his face again. So he decided to crawl the four blocks home. When he arrived at the door he stood up and fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door and into his bedroom. When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into the bed and is sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, "SO YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING AGAIN!" Putting on an innocent look, and intent on bluffing it out he said, "What makes you say that?" "The pub just called; you left your wheelchair there again."
"I've Lost Me Luggage"
An Irishman arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered around the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was already homesick. "No," replied the Irishman. "I've lost all me luggage!" "How'd that happen?"
"The cork fell out!" said the Irishman.
"Water to Wine"
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?" "Just water," says the priest. The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?" The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
"The Reunion"
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why, of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks, "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," says the second. Curious, the first asks: "Where in Ireland?" "Dublin," comes the reply.
"I can't believe it, Me too! Let's have another round of drinks to Dublin." The second man can't help himself so he asks, "What school did you attend?" "Saint Mary's," replies the first man. "I graduated in '62." "This is becoming unbelievable!!!" They say in union. About that time, in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's up?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replied the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again!"
"The Brothel"
Two Irishmen were sitting a pub having beer and watching the brothel across the street. They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of them said,"Aye, 'tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin' bad."
Then they saw a rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman said, "Aye, 'tis a shame to see that the Jews are fallin' victim to temptation." Then they saw a Catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the Irishmen said, "What a terrible pity...one of the girls must be quite ill."
"Lost at Sea"
Two Irishmen, Patrick & Michael, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, Patrick stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of Patrick, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter, Patrick blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into Guinness!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever
sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of Guinness on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances. Michael looked disgustedly at Patrick whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going Patrick! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat."
Complients of O'Muriel.
[ edited by Muriel on Mar 16, 2001 01:07 PM ]
posted on March 16, 2001 02:20:11 PM newWhat do you have with your Corned Beef? We have potatoes, turnip, cabbage, carrots and couple of boiled onions.
Carrots? CARROTS? Ewwwwwwww.........
'Round here we are simple folks, none of those fancy-shmancy extras. We have Corned Beef, cabbage and potatoes!!
Of course, we do have another tradation that most other folks don't follow. We grind up the left overs and make Egg Rolls! You have not *lived* until you have a Corn Beef and Cabbage Egg Roll!
