posted on April 18, 2001 08:56:10 AM
I think that those who set themselves up to be "victims" here and on any chat board are probably the same in real life. "Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I'm going to go sit in the corner and eat worms!"
We all know people in our real lives who will suck the air right out of a room, then blame the room for the trouble. If you join a new group, whether a virtual group or a real life group, you can't enter with a chip on your shoulder.
The group dynamic on any given day is set, and while it does fluctuate, you have to be aware of it when joining. We all also have to understand that there are many differing points of views being shared. For the most part, those differing views are not shared just to tick people off. You can't take it all personally, because if you do you'll never last.
posted on April 18, 2001 08:57:58 AM
DNF is all fluff now. I went there one day last week seeking information about the big lag in indexing of the title/description search. Wanted to see if others were experiencing problems. I scrolled down the entire DNF page and found only about eight messages that were eBay-related (one belonging to reddeer) and the rest was just a lot of crap about Republicans and partial birth abortions. It's useless as a business board.
posted on April 18, 2001 09:12:05 AM
I wish somebody would explain the fairyblossom fiasco to me. I gave her a fair shake when she showed up, posted to her trouble thread, etc. While I'm aware of the accusations made against her, I don't understand why they were made, and why so many seemed convinced that it must be true. Personally, I didn't see anything suspicious in her posts. Did I miss something in another thread? Or at another site?
posted on April 18, 2001 09:32:15 AM
Hi back at ya eventer Good to see you again.
JamesO I think everyone remembers their first post. I don't remember what the subject was but I do remember that I forgot to title it... I couldn't believe that after I finally got up the nerve to post I forgot to add a title... Seems I did that twice the first week. LOL
Spaz I never figured out the Fairyblossom problem either. I may have missed something. But, I also didn't understand why she left so quickly... again, I must have missed something.
Which brings me to another point. An open forum like this is probably the worst place in the world to assume anything. But, I see people do it all the time. And, even when you "think" you know what is being said - you have to remember that you're missing some key ingredients like tone of voice, facial expression, etc. Sometimes what you think the other person said isn't at all what was intended.
edited to fix UBB and to add - and, sometimes what you think the other person said/meant is exactly right.
Not paranoid anywhere else but here!
[ edited by Mybiddness on Apr 18, 2001 09:33 AM ]
posted on April 18, 2001 09:38:47 AM
I think the most important thing to remember when first posting, is to make SURE you separate your posting name from your business name. That means anon. I know some people do not like to do that, but you cant foresee the future and what does it hurt to not separate one from the other? It hurts nothing and its safer.
That puzzled me too. I've seen instances here where one poster has been accused of being someone else (often correctly) but never have I seen the accused respond by calling the bluff and pointing to her eBay auctions. I didn't see her eBay name or e-mail address, so I didn't see the auctions in question, but didn't she say something about having feedback in excess of 800? Then fairyblossom made that cryptic statement: "I changed my name so that people wouldn't think I was somebody else." What was that about?
posted on April 18, 2001 09:50:33 AM
She had changed her name to butterflydancer for one post, thinking unfortunately that fairyblossom was what had caused the confusion on her first post. Someone had called her Brenda in an off handed way and others must have thought it possible.
posted on April 18, 2001 09:56:31 AM
Hi Hepburn...
I agree with you on the wisdom of remaining anon. There IS a downside though. Some folks manage to do a lot of successful business promotion on the boards. We can't do that...
posted on April 18, 2001 09:59:14 AM
The thread in ebay outlook, was called something like 'Buyer sent me $58' which went on to say she was selling panties, and BTW that is what she sells, is lingerie, and this buyer had just bought one, but went and sent more money thinking, I guess that they had bought 60 pairs or something.
Thats when everyone thought that its 'just another panty thread' or something... its locked now. I can see why she changed her name for that thread. I think thats the thread in EO.
But then one here where someone did call her Brenda. She did say her ebay name, if I remember right, Brenda was from another state, and fairyblossom gave her address, as part of her business spiel in her ME page.
And moderators, its all in the other thread, so no need to make this disappear, she gave the info voluntarily.
Admittedly I'm reading between the lines here and may say this in error, but you seemed to me to be one of the people who believed the accusation against fairyblossom. Unless I've misread you -- for which I apologize if I have -- is there some particular reason you believed it?
Oh, no...you read me correctly. Nothing in particular...just a long and miserable acquaintance with the MO of that party. I wouldn't call it an accusation, either. More of an "I see you."
Grant you, I could be wrong...but I don't think so. Others obviously saw the same things, and interpreted them as I did.
posted on April 18, 2001 10:09:58 AM
Interesting thread Mybiddness.
I did not believe that Fairyblossom was anyone other than fairyblossom after I saw her ebay auctions. I did however believe that she was pulling our collective leg with her stories as she herself had said she was an aspiring writer. The stories were just too far fetched. I would not have minded her fiction if she had stated it was such but she really expected all of us to believe it and I believe she was practicing her writing skills as troll posts. JHMO.
posted on April 18, 2001 10:25:38 AM
Thanks, toke. I'm familiar with you-know-who too, but personally I didn't see it, even after it was suggested. No telling for sure, I guess.
rawbunzel,
From the few posts she made here I gather that she was a lesbian poet who sold panties on eBay and was being terrorized by an inmate of a correctional facility.
The ironic part is that in this day and age, it's not so far-fetched.
posted on April 18, 2001 10:35:52 AMFrom the few posts she made here I gather that she was a lesbian poet who sold panties on eBay and was being terrorized by an inmate of a correctional facility.
That certainly sounds like a compelling plot. What comes next?
posted on April 18, 2001 10:49:24 AM
Musing on what constitutes "unrealistic expectations," I recall that one family had its home saved solely through the efforts generated on chatboards. Others have found public and private support from chatboard denizens during extraordinary personal ordeals, support that appeared to be missing from what's oddly referred to as their "real" lives--as if the online environment is "unreal." The home that was saved for the family was real, the material contributions sent to another family in need were very real, and so is all of this.
I don't mean my point as a criticism of the launching post, because I agree that those who appear to come here for unqualified love do exist, likewise others who expect to be able to spin rather fantastic yarns in apparent bids for advice and support without engendering skepticism. The phenomenon called "urban legends" wouldn't exist if spinning tall tales wrapped in cross-my-heart-and-hope-to-die sincerity--usually with the exhortation that fable be shared--weren't such a popular pastime. It's been done here, by posters who are still here. But most of the posts that show that are gone.
Which brings me to another point. History is poofery around here, making it hard for newbies to know the lay of the land, even if they could be bothered to wade through the posts and try to make sense of them.
With respect to the "fairyblossom" debacle and specifically the launching post on "Serious Problem Everyone...I Need Your Opinions!" I was struck by two things. First, a publication called "Poetic Voices," which is listed in The Poet's Market 2001, is online. It appears to be a going concern, and it includes 1997 issues. If it's a different "Poetic Voices" from the one cited in fairyblossom's post, I'd like to know how the ISSNs are issued for each. Secondly, the content of the post was, IMO, unsavory and salacious, and its public posting--again, IMO--doesn't square with the experience it describes. Think about it: The person purportedly receives highly suggestive mail from a prisoner, causing her to feel "very scared and shaken up." She then comes here to share the experience with the legendary hundred-thousand AW lurkers, posting extensive detail about herself, her business, and the communications. She goes so far as to point out (in other posts) exactly how to determine her real name and address. This particular combination of facts does not inspire me to invest in giving succor to the applicant, if you get my drift. Besides, I saw the thread after it had been locked.
Now I have to go away and try to figure out whether I've committed the sin of wanting "undue attention."
I'll bring the crayons, just show me the lines!
- Pareau
posted on April 18, 2001 02:28:04 PM
Pareau! You know I am always glad to see you post! I won't accuse you of wanting undue attention - promise!Besides I agree with your take on the stories.
Spaz, I did think of that. [that the ID was "borrowed" from ebay.] Certainly could happen. I thought not since she was acknowledging the feedback numbers and items sold and that would be going so far over the line of internet ethics that I gave the benefit of the doubt. I know when I got here I had inadvertantly used someones ebay ID, luckily it was inactive [had really awful feedback too!I could pick them!] ]but I never would have made myself out to be that seller. Even if they had good feedback! I really hope that you are wrong and that it was truly fairyblossom and not either some enemy of hers or a troll that would take a real ID and use it in such a manner.
Another really good reason to be anon on these boards.
edited to add:
Spaz, I know that the story may not be so farfetched in this day and age ~and sad that is~ however it is farfetched to believe that someone would waltz in here and tell the tale to absolute strangers.
Interesting to see so many different takes on the same post.
[ edited by rAwBUNzeL on Apr 18, 2001 02:39 PM ]
posted on April 18, 2001 03:31:59 PMMusing on what constitutes "unrealistic expectations
Hi Pareau I've missed seeing you around!
IMO, an unrealistic expectation would be when a person enters an existing community (neighborhood) and expects to be embraced instantly without benefit of a "getting to know you" period - as would be expected in any other situation. I get the heebies when a person I've never met approaches me and acts overly familiar or friendly when I've never met them before. That's true in the chat world or the "real" world. Also, in the "real" world it's understood that you aren't going to like everyone and everyone won't like you... that's life so why do people expect this "world" to be any different?
I understand your premise that the chat world is the real world and in a way I agree - but I also have to consider this...
I don't know your real name. I don't have an idea of your age. I don't even know your gender. I don't know if you've ever been married or are married or never even wanted to be. I don't know what you do for a living or did for a living or thought you might have wanted to do for a living. I don't know if you live in the city or in the country - near the water or in the desert... as much as I enjoy your take on the world - I really don't know anything except what you have decided I will know. And, that's true for all of us... at least most of us.
I don't have to know those things to like you or to admire your opinion. But, unless I know those things I am never going to be sure if you're real or if you're Memorex... maybe even an off brand I've never heard of.
And, in "this world" there is no voice inflection or tone or facial expression to carry our conversations to the same level that they could reach were we face to face. Ten people can read this post and each will walk away with a different impression. That happens in "real world" too - but I don't believe it happens as frequently.
If it weren't for smilies we'd really have trouble.
posted on April 18, 2001 07:05:36 PM
I remember after lurking around here for a while, I finally decided to join. I had a question about an old postcard that I had but I didn't know how to get the pic on here. Pareau and JamesOblivion were so helpful and even put the postcard pic on here for me. Half the time on here, I don't even know what's going on ..... but it's still fun most of the time
[ edited by bobbi355 on Apr 18, 2001 07:06 PM ]
posted on April 18, 2001 08:18:10 PM
Just had to put in my 2 bob's worth!!!!
I'm new to AW, just love to look thru all the threads, read them all and if I feel that I've got something to contribute - I do.
Actually, I've found everyone to be quite good so far, but if I come across a nasty, I'll just ignore them.
Besides, this sort of thing is a great time filler.
Thanks everyone
posted on April 18, 2001 08:27:00 PM
kazanne, its good to see you sneak out of the party thread. Im glad I went in to say Hi to the aussies, because if I hadnt, I wouldnt have met my new aussie partner. Looking forward to my timtams
posted on April 18, 2001 08:50:54 PM
Thanks Hepburn, good to see you in here too.
I love to wander around all these threads and have a peek. Need not worry about those Tim Tams - I've got plenty of them for you.
posted on April 18, 2001 10:44:50 PM
Hi everyone, thanks Mybid for this thread, I saw it yesterday but was in a foul mood so I did not post, but today I am feeling better so I will add my 2 bobs worth.
When I first came to AW I was rather intimidated by some of the more vocal posters, it took a couple of months or more before I felt comfortable giving a view on anything. Once I started to post, I found that I was accepted on a slow scale, but as time went by more and more people started to talk to me directly. The big thing for me was that I usually post when everyone else is asleep and the Who Stays Up the Latest thread was a turning point for me, because it enabled me to come out of my shell so to speak and make some great new friends.
Now if I want to contribute to a thread I do, if I am not interested I stay away, or if I do not have a clue what you are talking about, again I usually stay away.
Kazanne you had better warn Hepburn about your son. Hepburn if your parcel arrives and it is minus a few Tim Tams, don't worry or stress the rats have not been gnawing your parcel, it will just have been Kazanne's son, he will eat anything in sight. LOL He tells me he is a growing man. LOL
posted on April 19, 2001 03:42:20 AM
Good Morning all.
As I said earlier, I'm not around much anymore, but this talk of Tim Tams has intrigued me once again. So, I'm going out on a limb by asking you wonderful Aussies if there is anyway I can BUY a box of those lucious looking treats and have them shipped to my humble home here in the states. Of course I will pay shipping......
Since I work and only get on here early morning or late evening (or sometimes in the afternoon) I can be emailed at [email protected]. Gracias!!!!!!
As for this subject- Mybiddness put it perfectly. ****applause****!!!!!
