posted on June 3, 2001 11:32:23 PM
Hello Mouse I am glad to see that you are feeling a bit better today.
I will not be in later tonight or tomorrow night either, but the following one I should be here.
We are fair to middling busy and the days seem very long to me, but that could just be my age catching up with me of course.
One of my sisters' if coming up from Melbourne tomorrow afternoon and it is a speedy visit because she is flying back the following afternoon. So the only time we all get to catch up is tomorrow night, it should be fun. Tonight I am planning to watch the second part to a mini series that started last night, and it finishes tonight. So as you can see my time is taken up with rather important things. LOL
I got a great buy at a garage sale on the weekend, I was in two minds whether or not to go to this sale because Saturday is a very busy day for us, and then I thought I would sneak off early to have a look and boy am I glad I did. Now I know that most of you younger ones' would probably think I was mad for thinking this thing that I got is so fantastic, but if you appreciate old style furniture you will understand.
I just love old furniture, the look and the feel of silky oak and the beauty of the old sideboards and china cabinets with the curved glass doors, mirrored backing, and super thick glass shelves ect. Can you guess yet what my great buy was?? Yes you could be right, I got a fantastic old china cabinet, and it is perfect. It does not need anything doing to it at all, in fact it does not have a mark on it. I have to tell you I was not even sure if it was for sale, because it was not marked like everything else and it was full of glassware ect., but I decided to ask and she straight away said yes and gave me the price. Well I did not need to be told twice, I parted with my money very fast, got my receipt and told them I would be back later to collect it.
My good tea set and many other assorted pieces of china are now housed in my new (old) china cabinet. I am not allowed to go shopping for a little while, because my husband says I have far too much. LOL Too much.....Never!! LOL
posted on June 4, 2001 12:37:35 AM
Hi all! Just popping in to see how everyone's doing. Mouse I am SO sorry about your Dad. Boy do I know what you're going through. It's still hard sometimes getting along without my Mom. If you would like to talk about it, feel free to e-mail me anytime. ([email protected])
I've been busy busy busy. Started helping the hubby out at the drycleaners for extra cash, and have been too tired to do much of anything - I guess I've been sitting on my butt too long. It's hot as he!! in there with all the steam, but at least I don't have to go and explain why I need to sit down for a few minutes every half hour or so. Well, I'm gonna' have to go try and get some sleep now, but I just wanted you guys to know I've been missing you!
posted on June 5, 2001 01:27:23 AM
Hi gang! Ok, I need to chatting and company. Tomorrow is funeral home day and I need to be fortified first. So I'll be hanging around and pop in when someone shows up.
Tigerlady, thank you so much dear. I put your address in my address book and may just take you up on your offer. I'm glad to hear you're keeping busy and we've been wondering where you've been!
posted on June 5, 2001 03:00:05 AM
Oh, I dunno. Fair I guess. It was weird last night. Mom had a pair of Dad's flannel pajama pants and asked if it would bother me if she cut them up for cleaning rags. I said no, go ahead. She left them on her chair here in the office and I kept looking at them. I finally picked them up and held them in my lap. I guess it made me feel a little better. I'm still having moments when the shock of having my Daddy gone hits me. I think tomorrow is going to be a rough day. First we have to go to the funeral home and make the arrangements, then we have to go to where he is and make sure they have the right person. I know, it sounds weird, but I guess it's required. They said we could bring in a picture, but Mom decided she'd like to say goodbye one more time (he's being cremated).
You know, even with all the problems with going back to work, I'm glad I haven't yet. I don't think I could handle it right now and they only give 3 consecutive days of paid bereavement leave (you can take longer, it just won't be paid).
posted on June 5, 2001 03:18:19 AM
Say your memory is as bad as mine??
I have one brother. As a matter of fact, the memorial will be at his house (it's bigger than mine). I was worried that he was going to hold it all in. (Mom, my husband and I were at the hospital first and my brother showed up later.) See, my sister died as an infant when my brother was 6 and he's had a problem with illness and death ever since. But he did break down and cry at the hospital and I was relieved. It's better for him to do that than to hold it in.
posted on June 5, 2001 03:28:08 AM
Well it's good that he got it out. You know how some men can be about crying - they don't think it's 'macho'. One of my brothers is like that but the other one is the total opposite and will get quite emotional at times over the smallest things.
I'm kind of in between. I hate crying in front of people and really try to hold it in which only gives me an aching throat! I shouldn't be like that I know but it's just the way I am... In private it's a different story though
...last time I checked 'an' had an 'n' in it!
[ edited by pharlap on Jun 5, 2001 03:30 AM ]
posted on June 5, 2001 03:48:01 AM
Well I'm glad that you have your family to help you get through tomorrow...
I'm sorry to have to do this to you but I have to go I'll understand if you don't feel like chatting tomorrow night but I'll be here if you decide you want to...
I'll talk to you soon! And I'll e-mail you tomorrow with the results of the FB mission
posted on June 5, 2001 03:53:07 AM
No problem, I should head off to bed myself. I'm awaiting the FB mission results with baited breath! Nighters Pharlap.
posted on June 5, 2001 11:10:00 PM
Hi Mouse! It helped me a lot to just talk it out. I know what you mean about feeling in shock. I felt that way for almost 3 months. I was OK, going to work, not crying TOO much, and all of a sudden it just hit me like a ton of bricks. I was crying at work, on the way home, at home, all night, I was snapping at everyone and I ended up quitting my job. Of course I was dumb, and didn't take anti-depressents when I HAD the insurance. Then I was an idiot and went and quit my job and lost the insurance so I couldn't AFFORD anti-depressents.
And I feel for you with your funeral home visit today. I remember when we had to see mom. Very weird. I had to fix her hair, cause neither of the other sis's would do it. Then as I was fixing it my hand brushed her face. I almost jumped out of my skin. It was so weird, she was rock hard. It was like that wasn't her, but just a statue of her. Very surreal. I guess it was a good thing I was still in shock, I don't think I could have done that otherwise.
And I am SO with you guys on crying in front of other people. I just can't do it. Had no problem at the hospital, but otherwise, uh-uh. For one thing, my blood pressure shoots up, and my face, ears and chest get VERY red and it takes at LEAST half and hour to go away. I hate that. Of course, if I try to hold it back, my ears and cheeks get all red anyway, so it doesn't really matter.
OK - as to where I've been. Had some MAJOR insomnia the past two or three months. (been so long, I can't even remember) I think it started back in March. We're talking 2 or 3 hours at the MOST every day. Got VERY out of it. Got to the point where I wasn't doing anything but TRYING to get some sleep. I couldn't think straight long enough to form a sentence, (one that made sense, anyway) so I kinda' stayed away from the boards for a while. Just a couple of weeks ago, I started helping the hubby out at the dry cleaner. Mostly delivering, but also doing odd jobs and just helping out wherever necessary. Matching, doing touch-ups, scrubbing collars, and then I vacuum at closing and get the next days tickets up. Don't have to go in until sometime between 3:30 and 4:00, so that's not a big problem, although I do have to get to sleep earlier than I've been. At least I'm starting to get some sleep again. The heat just really tires me out, and it's not even summer yet. With no air conditioning, and all that steam, it gets dam hot back there. Got home today, and just crashed for a couple of hours on the bed with the fan on me.
Whew! jeez, I really need to check in more often! I'm sure I'm forgetting something, too... Well, for now I'm gonna' crash in front of the TV in hopes of getting a little shut-eye. If I don't get to check back later, I'll try to be back tomorrow!
Just fixing a few things cause I STILL have a bad case of CRS!
posted on June 6, 2001 05:51:17 PM
Hello everyone, sorry I did not get in last night but I see I am not the only one that didn't make it.
Mouse I hope you are feeling a bit better, I know it sounds harsh but you know the best thing for you is not to let yourself wallow in grief, you need to keep doing your auctions and getting on with life. I am sure that is what your dad would have wanted you to do, and remember he is at peace now and in no pain. When my mother in law passed away just a couple of months ago, I had to make myself get on with doing every day normal things because I realised just how easy it would have been to fall into my grief, some days are bad but some days are good. Just try to look forward to the good days and keep smiling. I am thinking of you and your family. Take care and I will talk to you when you are feeling up to it again.
Tigerlady it is good to see you again, we have missed you. Like you, I have been busy with work, we are in our busy season at present and although it is not in full swing just yet, it is still busy and I find I am too tired to come and play at night. Must be old age catching up to me, I will just have to run a bit faster to get away from it.
Hi Pharlap and Zilvy, I will catch up with you both sometime soon. I haven't seen any of your jokes lately Zilvy so what is the story. LOL
Now where is Bob is he missing in action, maybe lost on the golf course again. LOL
So come on Bob just what are you up to, and where are you????
posted on June 7, 2001 02:53:37 AM
Hi gang, I'm in for at least a little while tonight.
Yesterday we went to make the arrangements, today we had to go identify him to make sure they had the right person. Yesterday I did ok, today I fell apart all over again like at the hospital. It was so weird to see my dad in a white plastic bag, very weird. I got like no sleep last night so I was pretty numb up until we went into the viewing room. Mom said she couldn't stay in there or she'd lose it. I asked her later what she meant, she said she's been holding back for a long time already. I said, but it sounds like you're not giving yourself permission. She said she's sure it will come, later.
I just need to hold up until Saturday for the memorial. After the memorial dh and I are going to a friend's house for a drinking party. I plan to get thouroughly smashed and cry like a baby or laugh like a loon, or both! The friend who is hosting the party said in the email to everyone, don't come if you don't plan on getting drunk, LOL. I think it's exactly what I need, of course the next day I'll be doubting the wisdom of it! I just can't drink like I did when I was 20 anymore...
posted on June 7, 2001 06:34:44 AM
Hi Mouse sorry I did not get back in earlier, I have been doing up my invoices for tomorrow's deliveries. If I don't do them now the men will leave without them in the morning and that causes dramas for me with the accounts. I hate it when they try and do the invoices out themselves, they always make a mess of it and then that means more work for me.
Give you mother a big hug from me, I think she is going to need a lot of hugs in the near future. This will be harder on her than on anyone. Although she has been expecting this illness to come to an end, I am sure that it is still a great shock for her, even more than it is for you. This was her husband for many years and the man she loved for all of those years. It sounds to me as if you mother is in shock, and I think it will indeed hit her hard when it all sinks in for her.
Now don't you go drinking yourself silly at that party Mouse, or you could be sorry the next day. Think of the hangover you will have. Oh! the headache, I can almost feel it coming on now. Make sure you have a good time and one that you can remember. LOL
I have to go as it is almost midnight and I have had a long day, I will try and get in sometime when everyone else is around. Take care.
posted on June 8, 2001 03:10:30 AM
Hi Mouse I am only in for a short while myself. I have just come back in fromt he shops as a matter of fact and I have a few things that I will have to do soon.
How are you and your mother holding up?
Today has been a strange day for me, a day when I am not sure if I am coming or going. Hmmmmmmm I am really not sure if it was just the day or if it is me. LOL Maybe I am just a backward person.
posted on June 8, 2001 03:26:25 AM
Hey Pharlap did you see all those poor OneTel people lost there jobs today, and the rest will go at the end of the month. I felt so sorry for them. A lot have been taken on by Telstra and some by Optus, but some have not got jobs to go to, and this is very sad for them.
posted on June 8, 2001 03:30:38 AM
Nettak - no I hadn't heard that I'm so glad I stayed put!!!
I haven't been to any auctions lately. I went and had a look at what was on offer last week but nothing of interest. And next week's a jewellery auction (read - out of my price range! )
Tonight I am planning to watch the second part to a mini series that started last night, and it finishes tonight. So as you can see my time is taken up with rather important things. LOL
Hippy wannabe 
~^~
on the way home, 
and I ended up quitting my job. 
Of course I was dumb, and didn't take anti-depressents when I HAD the insurance. 
I had to fix her hair, cause neither of the other sis's would do it. Then as I was fixing it my hand brushed her face. I almost jumped out of my skin. It was so weird, she was rock hard. It was like that wasn't her, but just a statue of her. Very surreal. I guess it was a good thing I was still in shock, I don't think I could have done that otherwise.
and it takes at LEAST half and hour to go away. I hate that. 
I think it started back in March. We're talking 2 or 3 hours at the MOST every day. Got VERY out of it. Got to the point where I wasn't doing anything but TRYING to get some sleep. I couldn't think straight long enough to form a sentence, (one that made sense, anyway)