posted on September 19, 2000 06:58:01 PM
On 8/13, I received an EOA notice on a piece of stoneware I bought. "Hi, there, I see you are the winning bidder on this item. My father, XXXXX(the seller), passed away unexpectedly on Friday the 11th. As such, I am going to finish his pending his ebay business...." He goes on to give me the total and address to mail payment. I mailed a money order....and so far nothing. I understand that this must be both a headache and heartache for this guy, but a month later, I haven't received my item or an answer to my inquiries.
I've got a feeling that this won't go any further. Not to be crass, but why safeharbor or neg a guy who obviously won't be selling in the future.
Just thought y'all might find this interesting, and wondering if anyone has run into a similar situation...Miss Tex
posted on September 19, 2000 07:07:30 PM
Ouch! Heard of this sorta thing before. Probably legit, but what happens is seller's estate in hands of heir's, or executor. Things could be tied up for a while. You should get your item, as transaction was concluded prior to death, but who knows?
posted on September 19, 2000 07:52:18 PM
The bereaved family member's story doesn't quite ring true to me. They certainly didn't waste time asking for money to be sent. At a time like that it would be the last thing on my mind. A notice of the sellers passing, maybe, but a request for payment, no, not at this time.
posted on September 19, 2000 07:56:18 PM
I had this situation happen, but in reverse. One of my regular customers died, with an item costing $$$ hanging in the balance. His business partner made good on the sale within 30 days, and went on to become a good customer himself. Try sending some "gentle reminders" to your seller's family. Having lost a parent myself, I can tell you that grief does do strange things to your thought processes, and things fall through the cracks, even when you don't mean for them to. Hopefully, this transaction can still have a positive outcome for you.
posted on September 19, 2000 08:08:11 PM
Before we all send our condolences to the seller's family, have we checked to be sure the dear departed has not been conducting any further business on Ebay? Do check his user ID bidding and selling lists to be sure. If you find that he's conducting Ebay business from the Great Beyond, perhaps you ought to let Safe Harbor know that he hasn't updated his contact info.
posted on September 19, 2000 08:13:09 PMpickersangel: not to mention finding out *how* he'd be doing it. Would certainly give the lie to "you can't take it with you"
posted on September 19, 2000 09:51:19 PM
It is a difficult situation. On one hand it may be true that his father has died. On the other hand, it does seem a little fishy to me that the son had no problem asking for the money, and in record time.
I would pull up the phone number and give the person a call. If the phone number pulls up and the seller's name is "John Doe," Call and ask for John. If John comes to the phone or says, "this is John speaking," or you are told John isn't home, you will know right away that something is wrong. If the son is telling the truth just be "gentle" when you talk to the person on the phone.
You can also email some of his winners and ask them if they have received their items.
Don't just let this go. If it is a scam, it's a great one. Who would want to leave negative on a seller who has just died?
You could aslo contact safeharbor. If this seller has died, they might be able to verify this, and if the seller is indeed alive and well, they will want to know about it.
I am the type of person that likes to believe what people say. About 6 months ago I won an auction and weeks went by and I never received my item. I finally received my MO back and a note that said, "I just got out of the hospital and my home was robbed. Everything is gone. Here is your money back. If the item is found I will still sell it to you." I let it go thinking what a sad thing to happen to you.
Something felt funny about this. I went through my deadbeat file and found an unpaid auction from about 8 months earlier. It was the same person, and the same address. The email from the bidder said, "I just got out of the hospital and my home was robbed. Everything is gone. I can't pay you as I now have nothing. I am sorry."
I couldn't stop laughing when I read it. The poor person had really bad luck.
Like I said, I like to believe what I am being told, but sometimes it is just a story.
posted on September 19, 2000 10:05:29 PM
I think that if my father "passed away unexpectedly" two days ago, I would not be at my computer checking out ebay business. I think I might be still in shock, certainly not functioning very well.
posted on September 20, 2000 02:07:49 AM
Asking for John won't help as the son might very well be named after the father.
Sorry to say I know plenty of relatives that
would be thinking of the money with no hesitation. They are the same ones that get into huge arguements over who gets what someone dies.
My wifes step father died last year and when her mother moved here some of her husbands family had stripped things out of the house that were her personal possesions from years before the marraige. They went through like vultures on carrion.
posted on September 20, 2000 02:24:56 AM
macandjan
Ye got to be quick or ye don't get the good stuff.
Just kidding....But money or land will show a persons true nature.
posted on September 20, 2000 12:06:34 PM
Thanks, Y'all. The total I paid for the item was $9, with shipping. I am hoping all the good Karma I have earned as a seller will pay off, and I'll get the item. But, time is money, and I really can't afford to spend a lot of time or mental energy. I appreciate your ideas and your willingness to share them - and you bet your booty I will check to see if the seller is still active!!
Miss Tex
posted on September 20, 2000 01:09:26 PM
Just a follow-up:
Seller has no active auctions. Checked his feedback and the last few said "So long, we'll miss you" type comments.
So, I don't doubt that he has indeed gone to the great online auction in the sky- just would be nice to get my item!
MIss Tex
posted on September 20, 2000 09:55:16 PM
I had a similar experience. Here's how the e-mails played out:
On 6/7: "My dad is the one who is selling you the widget you won. Unfortunately, he has fallen ill and is in the hospital. I am trying to run his eBay business, but I'm afraid it's a little complex for me. Please allow me another week or so to find your widget and email you the proper payment instructions."
On 6/22: "My dad is still in the hospital. I have his paperwork here, the only problem
is that we moved all his widgets from the store he had into our garage, and now
we have a big mess. I have found all the widgets I needed to find, except
yours. That is the delay now. I have spent a few hours in the garage
looking for your widget, and I will spend a few more until I find it. Thanks
again for your patience, it means a lot to me in this time of need."
On 7/7: "I am so sorry, but in the midst of the move from our store to the garage, your widget must have been misplaced. My employees and I have spent hours looking for the widget. We found the box of widgets that it should be in, but it is just not there. I want to know if there is anything I can do for you to make it up to you?? Just let me know. Thanks for your understanding, and again, I am terribly sorry."
I think this was genuine, and I wasn't needing this particular widget that badly. I hope his dad wasn't your seller who died.
posted on September 21, 2000 12:03:23 AM
You know, people do weird things in situations like this.
If this was the dad's business, I wouldn't be surpised if someone thought to check on it. If dad was bringing in the money though sells on ebay it had to be taken care of.
That is the the double edged sword...on one hand you can't face dealing with the 'little' things, but on the other hand you have to. The ironic thing is that it is usually the 'little' things that keep you going. Kind of like, "I'd love to just curl up and die right now, but I've got to pay the light bill."
posted on September 21, 2000 06:50:01 AM
I would treat this as I would any other sale. You were contacted and given an address to send money. You paid for item and have not received it. Definitely contact and be polite but firm. "I sent you the money for xxx on 8/13 but have not yet received it. Please let me know immediately if there is a problem. If I do not hear from you, I will be forced to pursue other remedies."
If you had sent money prior to the seller's death and the seller had died after receiving your money but before mailing your item, that would be one thing. In this case however, you were asked by the son to pay for your item and you did. The son asked for and received your money in a timely fashion and you should be given the same courtesy.
This won't be difficult or time consuming assuming you know the city where the deceased lived. You can call the courthouse and find out the law firm handling the probate if there is one. Then call the law firm and ask for your money. For such a small amount, they'll just send it upon receipt of a copy of the mo, EOA notice from the son and copy of the auction.
Do see this to conclusion though. Your amount may be small, but other buyers may have much larger amounts, and it will help them to have more people trying to collect as the people handling the estate will pay attention.
posted on September 21, 2000 07:22:39 AM
Do you enjoy paying for something & not getting it?. Just wondering...how do you console yourself..do you tell yourself, 'Oh it could happen to me too so I should be understanding' or maybe 'Well maybe I will be bless if I continue to be charitable'.
Just curious, how do we justify to ourselves about getting ripped off.
posted on September 21, 2000 07:33:37 AM
I had a buyer die. Back before transaction-only feedback it was even posted that she died. I believe it. There wasn't any more activity on the acct. I got my fees back from ebay--Dead Buyer--and relisted the item.
Now I have a buyer in the hospital (little did I know.) I already neg'd him, and now his wife is emailing saying her husband really wants the item. She can pay me next Tues. (I know, I chuckle too. But I believe her.)
Don't neg. the guy. Just send a nice and gentle email reminder about your item.
posted on September 21, 2000 07:35:48 AM
NO, I don't enjoy getting ripped off. I'm just not going to get crazy over $9.00. Sometimes one has to apply a little perspective. I will continue my "Please send my item emails" but I'm not going to lose any sleep over the matter. I don't get enough as it is....
posted on September 21, 2000 08:01:02 AM
I had two situations and on each one, I kept the perspective I gained when I read about Pocono's experience...Anyone remember that one? Ouch!
The first one was a great customer. Bought a LOT of items from me and even added more items not listed on Ebay. Always in the multi-hundreds of dollars. Great customer! Sent money right away, patient, friendly. I really LIKED her. She said in an e-mail, I have one more item ending this weekend but I will be away on a short vacation. Send me the total with this auction and I will get payment out when I return home on Monday. Never heard from her again. Nothing! No more activity on her account. It took a while for her ISP to shut down. I know that my ISP automatically takes the fees from my CC, so it would take a while for them to realize that I wasn't there too. I truly believe that she died. I miss her.
Second one was an extremely touching letter from a son whose mother just had emergency open heart surgery and he was trying to find all of her auctions as she had asked him from a list on her desk. He was spending most of his time at the hospital--of course, but would endeavor to take care of all of these matters. I waited. Nothing. I sent a nice little note asking how Mom was doing. Nothing. After 6 weeks (my father had emergency 5 bypass surgery and was up and at 'em before 6 weeks) I wrote again asking how mother was doing. So, I looked at their ID and Whew! Mom was certainly bidding up a storm! I wrote to other sellers from the same time as my auction and that family REALLY had a BAD time! The son had emergency heart surgery and mother was sitting with him at the hospital as they didn't know if he would live or die. Dad had emergency heart surgery and passed away. (Not sure why it is always DAD who dies...go figure! ). Another mom had heart surgery and son was sitting with her. I think there was a kidney in there for one of the sellers too. I NEGGED. After I negged, I got a really nasty e-mail from someone saying I was heartless to neg this poor person. ROFLMAO. I suspect that was the person's new e-mail addy.
I am one and one on these, but I have to say, I do temper my responses based on Pocono's misadventure in that venue.
). Another mom had heart surgery and son was sitting with her. I think there was a kidney in there for one of the sellers too. I NEGGED. After I negged, I got a really nasty e-mail from someone saying I was heartless to neg this poor person. ROFLMAO. I suspect that was the person's new e-mail addy.
