posted on August 17, 2001 02:05:20 PM
I have 2 situations going on with my auctions right now.
1. I have an item with the current bidder that has (0) no biggie, but I looked at the fb anyway..... it was 2 positives from last year, I believe, and then 2 recent negs, add up to (0) the bidder he outbid, had an (-1) next to him, he also had a name that sounds like scam (that is not his ebay name) but it has that in it. The current bidder has another strange? (cuss word, but spelled different so it isn't ACTUALLY a cuss word)
So, I never ran into this before, I've had (0) feedback bidders, no problem, but with this I don't know what to do.
The second situation is more complicated. It happens to be an EXfriend, who lives near me, who I helped start selling on ebay, we helped her with pictures etc... she was sick and had to quit her job, she has gotten email, she has shown me, with people complaining about how it takes her a month or more to send an item that was paid with a credit card, she writes them back, and explains she is ill. They feel sorry for her I guess, and have even mentioned it in her feedback. But then she is running around most days, shopping, hanging around, she doesn't appear to be sick at all, so I am not sure. We stopped being friends with her, when I couldn't take it anymore. She would steal my pictures, and call and laugh and say, 'did you see what I did?' I told her that it takes time to take pictures, and I offered to help her with her own. She refused. I was forced to but no right click java script in, then I used text in the pictures, she called and complained! So we are no longer friends.
NOW, I put an item up, she collects this certain item, and I forgot she did, but she is bidding on it. The last time she did something like this, she bid an item up, then I took it to her, and she said, well I only have $5. so I said 'here!' I feel I will end up doing the same thing.... I know I am a frikking door mat sometimes. BUT that isn't all the problem.... in her ME page, which *I* made for her, awhile ago,since she didn't 'know how' and I took the pic, and stored it in my FTP, if someone right clicks it, there is my ebay name and all. It LOOKS LIKE I have someone shill bidding!
I thought I'd take it out, but it would be a box with an X in it, still right click it, still my name.
I've been in so many arguments with her, I can't take another one. This item, she has claimed before is VERY DEAR to her, its a character, I think she thinks she is this character... not sure. Boy I'd have her harrassing me to death if I cancel her bid.
I'm not sure what to do.... if any arguments do come up, it always comes down to how ill she is......
any suggestions? (I know, I'm a fool, but anything else? )
posted on August 17, 2001 02:27:45 PM
Cancel her bid pronto and put her on your "bidder block" list. Who cares if she complains? Block her phone calls.
posted on August 17, 2001 02:31:57 PM
Do you have any suggestions on what to put as the reason for cancelling the bid?
I ask this, only because its more of a personal thing.
And my partner, who doesn't like her bidding on my stuff, and cannot stand her anyway, he doesn't understand the 'netcop' thing, and I know there are people out there that check out this stuff. He doesn't get it, and says 'don't worry about it' I do, that is why I posted here.
posted on August 17, 2001 02:40:40 PM
Yikes! What a mess.
Situation #1: Think I'd take a real close look at both people's recent negs (what they bought, the seller's feedback) and see if I could figure out what the @#$ went on. Then, whichever looks best, let it stand and cancel the other.
Situation #2: Well, I'd have her on bidder block but I'm a pretty tough person once you've crossed me.
IF you decide to leave her bid up and she wins, DO NOT, repeat DO NOT deliver this to her. Treat her just like any other customer. Send an EOA, tell her the terms and stick to your guns. If she doesn't pay, she gets an NPB like anyone else.
It's not going to be pretty and it's not going to be nice. But the sooner you face it once, the easier it will get each time thereafter until she finally leaves you alone or knows you can't be duped.
posted on August 17, 2001 02:49:44 PM
Thanks! the auctions run for 10 days. I don't know what kind of bid she put on it, but already she outbid someone else on it...
I really want to cancel, but cannot for the life of me think of a reason to write for it, that would be non emotional and all.
I do not want to ruin any of her ebay stuff... I just want her to leave me alone...
I know, people can have a tougher skin than me in these things she lives REALLY close, and still after all this, she STILL comes over. Last Friday morning when we are rushing to leave for the weekend, she is there at the door..... I had to say 'I have to leave now' most of the time, she has just walked in! My kids tell me that a lot, when I am not here. Its nuts!
I am going to my ftp and deleting her photo, that is what is on her Me page.... she'll either be calling (which, yes I can block) if she can't get a hold of me phone, she'll come over..... eeeeek...
posted on August 17, 2001 04:48:16 PM
As far as a reason for cancelling, just say "prior experience with bidder" or something to that effect. Or go ahead and end the auction totally -- whichever way ensure you place her name on your block list.
posted on August 17, 2001 06:07:12 PM
I agree. Listen to eventer.
Your situation with her will only get worse if you let it continue. I had something similar to this going on for several years. I helped set them up in their own business, gave them all the contacts plus lots of stock. They never paid me for consignment items I put in their shop to help them get a start. They never thanked me for anything I did. But each time they needed help or advice or anything else they would contact me and I would give in.
One evening another request came in. I read it over and never answered. I never again answered their phone calls. I felt free and happy that I had rid myself of them. I should have done it at least a year earlier and I would have saved myself money and grief. But it was better late than never.
Do it now. Do it quickly. You will probably feel better.
posted on August 17, 2001 07:09:55 PM
Thanks all, Eventer, your right
But what I did was cancel the auction, and wrote to her... not a good email.... I have caller ID, and I can block that phone number.
kiara Wow, this sounds VERY similiar to mine...I helped her, not just ebay, we helped her there too. Set up the FTP for her, showed her how to do everything, gave her CONTACTS for things, that is why she was taking my pics, because she had some of the same things..... When she was first diagnosed, we all felt bad... she had to have medication, and she said her insurance her husband had wouldn't cover it, it was $2000 a month! I 'loaned' (yeah right) her the first months meds. I took her for a 3 day weekend to the ocean, cost me a bundle, and all she did was COMPLAIN! how badly the accomadations were, this that the other thing, but she never had money...
yeah we finally got really sick of her.... but she persisted, even when I turned down any invitations to do anything with them... she still came over on a regular basis, uninvited, I think she may be FINALLY getting it, that we don't want anything to do with them. I feel badly she has this illness, but I don't see it stopping her from doing things, she just returned from Panama from a month long vacation her mother paid for..
Soooooo..... I don't like doing this to people, but when all they do is use you.... forget it.
posted on August 17, 2001 07:51:31 PM
NearTheSea, yes it is very similar.
Her problems will always be bigger than any problems that you may have in your life and she will use them to get to you.
Don't ever feel bitter about what happened, including the loss of money. Remember that you did it from the goodness of your heart at the time.
She may try to make you feel guilty, she may make false promises but she will probably never change her ways.
It is now almost two years since I chose to just "go away". I have never regretted it. I already had enough stress in my life and they only added more.
Once I did this I felt almost a sense of power and I have been able to take care of other "annoyances" a bit easier. I wish you the best.
)