posted on June 20, 2002 11:45:54 AMyo dogg, i can't payfor this homes, i sry yo i tried to come up witht the money but my dog, checko he wanted food, and you know whats thats like right homes, well any ways i cant pay for it and if you give me a bad rap so b it. thx for your time homes.
Remember the lady in _Airplane_ who could speak jive? I think I need her for this.
I am dreadfully sorry, but I cannot pay for the auction I won. At the moment I am financially embarrassed, as I have mismanaged my budget to the point that my beloved pet, Checko, is in danger of not getting his kibble. I beg your forgiveness, and pray you understand my plight. I realize that you may leave me negative feedback, and I accept responsibility for that. I appreciate your kind attention to this matter. Sincerely, CREATIVE DEADBEAT.
posted on June 20, 2002 12:21:14 PM
Actually, if I got this message, I'd simply reply with:
"What?"
It just might make them realize how pathetically stupid it makes them look.
I guess -speaking- like that is a "cultural" thing, but who in their right mind would WRITE like that?
But then again I'm one of those people whose blood pressure goes up when someone types 'u' instead of 'YOU'. I'm not anal over genuine typos, I make plenty myself. But deliberately writing 'ppl' instead of 'people' gets me going every time.
[ edited by replaymedia on Jun 20, 2002 12:23 PM ]
posted on June 20, 2002 12:31:27 PM
Now, now, let's not get too upset. We must remember the frailty of our fellow human beings. At times of dissappointment like this, I like to go to the Good Book for comfort. I find following the Ten Commandments to be both good business practice and a comfort when customers bail out. In case you don't have them memorized, here they are so that you can receive comfort, too:
1. I be God. Don' be dissin' me.
2. Don' be makin' hood ornaments outa me or nothin' in my crib.
3. Don' be callin me for no reason--homey don' play that.
4. Y'all betta be in church on Sundee.
5. Don' dis ya mama ... an if ya know who ya daddy is, don' dis him neither.
6. Don' ice ya bros.
7. Stick to ya own woman.
8. Don' be liftin' no goods.
9. Don' be frontin' like you all that an no snitchin' on ya homies.
10. Don' be eyein' ya homie's crib, ride, or nothin'.
posted on June 20, 2002 01:23:07 PM
VERY amusing thread. I just have to add my 2 cents worth. I'm a visiting nurse and I work primarily in the inner city. I always find it funny when I'm knocking on someone's door and hear this shout out the upper window "whacha want" or "who be der" and as soon as I say "hi, it's the nurse" I get a reply of "oh, hi, sorry, I'll be right down".
posted on June 20, 2002 02:40:42 PM
You have the option of e-mailing him back and answering in Pig Latin or Elmer Fudd as well as a few others from the drop down list if you go to this site.
The dialectizer site has a disclaimer and was meant only for fun and has been posted on AW several times before.
Edited because I don't want to upset anyone who takes it seriously.
posted on June 20, 2002 04:24:06 PM
Hey now that's REALLY COOL!
Cockney Translation:
I'm dreadfully sorry, right, but I cannot pay for the bloomin' auction I won. At the bleedin' moment I'm financially embarrassed, right, as I 'ave mismanaged me budget ter the point that me beluvd pet, Checko, is in danger of not copping 'is kibble. Cor blimey guv! I beg yor forgiveness, and pray yer understand me plight. I realize that yer may leave me negative feedback, and I accept responsibility for that. I appreciate yor kind attention ter this matter. Sincerely, right, CREATIVE DEADBEAT
And the Incredible 10 Commandments in Jive-Cockney:
1. I be God. Don' be dissin' me.
2. Don' be makin' 'ood ornaments outa me or noffin' in me crib.
3. Don' be callin me for no reason--homey don' play that.
4. You lot betta be in church on Sundee.
5. Don' dis ya mama ... an if ya know 'oo ya daddy is, don' dis 'im neever.
6. Don' ice ya bros.
7. Stick ter ya own lass.
8, init?Don' be liftin' no goods.
9. Don' be frontin' like you lot that an no snitchin' on yan 'omies.
10. Don' be eyein' yan 'omie's crib, ride, or noffin'.
posted on June 20, 2002 07:58:00 PM
I think a couple of posters have the wrong idea about the author of this email, suggesting its a "cultural thing" or mentioning the inner city. In my experience the only people that actually write like that are bored suburban white kids that watch too much MTV. So you see its actually more of a "lack of culture" thing (or is that thang?)
Btw, the word jive fell out of common use decades ago.
[ edited by jsbrock on Jun 20, 2002 07:59 PM ]
posted on June 20, 2002 09:04:19 PM
Ya mean Mrs. June Cleaver = Jive translator
By the way, anyone know how to post pics on this board? I had a foto of her son "Beaver" but cannot get it to show.
[ edited by jalleniii on Jun 20, 2002 09:07 PM ]
posted on June 20, 2002 10:11:50 PM
It is Ebonics now, instead of JIVE, I think.
I also think that it is someone bored playing a joke. Does anyone really talk in JIVE in real life or is it just in the movies? LOL C'mon, this is America and we educate our citizens. Surely, no one actually talks like that. And if they did, they would be the most ignorant, stupid, uneducated person in the world.
posted on June 21, 2002 08:12:24 AMHave you talked with a TELEPHONE or CABLE TV telephone CS rep lately??
I KNOW what you mean! I'm considering just using a cell phone like many of our neighbors.
Cable? don't get me started. It took us one year to get installation; after 2 years the cable still isn't grounded (every time it rains - cable goes on & off). Roadrunner may be quick, but is stupid. We've been passed around so much (on the phone) at RR, I feel like the school lunch no one would trade for.
posted on June 21, 2002 08:17:42 AM
I live in the middle of the city-- my kids were saddled with a third grade TEACHER who spoke JIVE- we wanted the kids to learn ENGLISH-
That was a not fun year, especially since she wasn't able to teach MATH either.
And this was the "gifted" program....
"And All Shall be Well, and All Shall be Well, and All Manner of Things Shall be Well"
