posted on November 14, 2005 11:31:36 PM new
Hi all,
I know this has probably been addressed many times over the years, but I was hoping you could weigh in on this uncomfortable situation for me now.
I have been selling for almost 8 years on ebay. It's taken me all of that time to hunt down, develop and establish close relationships with manufacturers in Europe which create the items I offer.
Over the years, several customers of mine have turned around to become sellers of these same items - some starting by "innocently" asking lots and lots of questions about makers, importing, etc. Some very direct, requesting every and all things I can tell them about the products and services I use, "to save them time and money."
Even though I always feel a little funny about this, I have never turned anyone down who asked for information. The result has been a fairly decent loss in sales, I will add.
Recently, yet another buyer wrote to let me know she's also decided to sell what she had previously been purchasing from me. She then asked if I could reveal my suppliers and other business-building ideas to (no surprise) "save time and money." Not wanting to be rude, I emailed her back with quite a lot of information, including contact information, on suppliers. This, however, has not been sufficient apparently. She has called both my home and cell, and emailed 4 times for information on a particularly hard-to-find manufacturer - one that took me almost 4 years to track down and another year to begin working with. Their items are very unique, and I used to be the only seller who had them at all on ebay (one of my past customers pumped me for information before I was wise to what she was doing, managed to wheedle this source out of me. Now, of course, she sells their wares also...).
I don't want to be rude or selfish, but I've really noticed a difference - a negative difference - since I've given away so much free information and assistance to everyone that's approached me. I guess my question to you is - am I being ungenerous by not offering up my sources? While I don't think she'll be buying anything from me as a customer now, should I preserve the relationship because it's the right thing to do? If I shouldn't feel compelled to provide more detail than I already have, what do I say? She's literally bombarding me with requests and I haven't gotten back to her on this last one.
Thanks in advance - I'm really hand-wringing over this one!
Di
On a scale of 1 to 10...we'd all weigh a lot less!
[ edited by difs on Nov 14, 2005 11:33 PM ]
posted on November 14, 2005 11:43:37 PM new
Di: You are NOT being ungenerous. You're being a good businessperson. If you wanted to be a business counselor, someone who could help people start up small businesses, you'd be doing that instead.
You've done more then enough for the previous folks who've asked you questions--and more, I might say, than I'll bet most of us here would have done. At some point you have to decide what's the best use of your time; if you're going to give away your business secrets, perhaps you shouldn't be trying to sell on eBay, right?
I'm getting hardnosed about even helping good friends get started on Ebay. Just today at the grocery store a friend said she wants to start selling collectibles and books, as I do, and could I give her "a few minutes"!!! to show her how. I asked if she's ever bought on Ebay and she said heaven's no. I told her to get on there, register, buy ten items, then come back to me, as then she'd be way ahead of the game, knowing how it feels from a buyer's perspective. I also told her I spent 3 full days a year ago helping my best friend get started. Three days! I'll have to think a while to come up with a well-worded reason why I don't want to do that again for anyone.
______________________________
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."
--Martin Luther King, Jr.
posted on November 14, 2005 11:46:49 PM new
Why in the world would give away your source? I can't believe anyone selling a select product would ever want competion.
posted on November 15, 2005 12:38:37 AM new
There is no way i would knowingly create competition. you have spent your hard earned money and a lot of time to get where you are. And you just give it away.
sorry difs. but i think your a fool, to give away all your hard earned advantages. all you have done is to give away your future in selling those products.
why did you not make money from them. you should have charged them outrageous prices for your hard earned information. if they dont want to pay. TOUGH. let them find it the same way as you did.
posted on November 15, 2005 01:12:14 AM new
I learned on this board many years ago to never give away sources!
You say already that the damage has been done, to your sales, because of you giving your information away.
I am sad for you ... maybe you can take the time to source out a completely different line of ebay wares for you, and build a new business, (and next time, 'just say no.')
One very good reason not to give away sources is that a person you introduce may turn out to be a bottom feeder (or worse), and your source may cut you off down the line. I know your motives were good (even if your business sense wasn't), but good deeds are not always rewarded.
posted on November 15, 2005 05:29:51 AM new
Working. Cat food doesn't come free, y'know.
difs:
I don't want to be rude or selfish
I can't imagine what you're complaining about, then. If someone asks you, "Say, do you mind if I cut your throat?" and you hand them a steak knife, I don't suppose they'll think you're being either rude or selfish.
posted on November 15, 2005 05:46:07 AM new
Fluffy??
Remember Tom when he was so naive to ask Fluffy on some Italian jewelry he wants to sell??
Difs,
You just learned a valuable lesson in Business 401,dont give away any more information and just watch the nightmare unfolds- supply will outstrip demand and prices will spiral downward to the point no one can make any money,thats when your 'buyer turned sellers' will drop out.
Importing European goods is an expensive ordeal-expenses such as phone and fax,customs,shipping,wire transfer all cost money,some credit card companies are now charging extra for foreign transactions.
posted on November 15, 2005 06:37:28 AM new
I don't understand why you would want to shoot yourself in the foot like that. I don't give away my sources. Ever. Your customers should have to do their own work. We all did here. There are plenty of wholesale sources for all sorts of things. You just need to know where to look. A seller with no initiative to find his own sources isn't much of a seller, IMHO.
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
posted on November 15, 2005 06:53:25 AM new
Fluffy - my well-earned nickname is "The tongue that never needs sharpening" so I won't be fretting over your helpful response
I do appreciate the sentiments of everyone. My survival instincts must be poor when it comes to ebay, and I'll need to work on that. This woman has literally been pursuing me by phone and email for over two weeks, and I've been ignoring her - trying to figure out the right thing to say and the appropriate way to say it.
It's more than "just business" to me. I'm really wrestling with it.
D.
On a scale of 1 to 10...we'd all weigh a lot less!
posted on November 15, 2005 07:00:30 AM new
Speak to her to say that you will report her to Ebay if she doesn't stop the harassment.
Never divulge your sources! Don't even share it will love ones incase they accidentally slip.
posted on November 15, 2005 07:10:15 AM new
Looks like you have learned not to reveal your sources the HARD way! I wouldn't worry about ticking off a good customer either because if they are looking for other sources, their days with you are numbered any way. If they show no more loyalty to you than looking for other places to buy the things they buy from you, you owe them NOTHING!
posted on November 15, 2005 07:14:01 AM new
You say "8 years on ebay. It's taken me all of that time to hunt down, develop and establish close relationships with manufacturers in Europe which create the items I offer."
So how much are you worth? When someone is stupid enough to try to get you to divulge your souces tell them you'll be glad to sell the information to them for $150,000 or whatever.
If YOU don't value YOURSELF - who else will?
The only problem with women is they want to explain everything to much. Business is business.
posted on November 15, 2005 08:58:17 AM new
So do I understand correctly.....your business plan is to keep acquaintances and not make money? Quite a concept. Let us know how that works out for you.
posted on November 15, 2005 09:00:55 AM new
If she wants information on your suppliers, by all means give it to her. Just don't give her the correct info. After 3 or 4 months trying to chase down a source in Singapore, who is actually in Italy, she'll be so confused and distraught she'll give up on Ebay and apply for a job at McDonald's. To make it look authentic, supply her with email addresses. The headers in Ebay and Paypal spoof emails are a good source for the addresses. Especially the ones from Romania and Nigeria.
A $75.00 solid state device will always blow first to protect a 25 cent fuse ~ Murphy's Law
posted on November 15, 2005 09:21:05 AM new
why not just give her the URL of an internet cafe in Nigeria,she will get lots of 'suppliers' who are willing to work with her.
posted on November 15, 2005 09:41:27 AM new
I am always happy to share my contact info with others. Of course I don't call it being nice. I call it Business Consulting and I charge $150 an hour. It's a bargain. I spent a year and a half finding my suppliers, weeding out the bad ones, building relationships with the good ones. I spent 8 years learning marketing, reasearch, evaluation, supply calculations, design, promotion, advertising and I have spent/lost thousands learning the difference between what I thought was brilliant/adorable/perfect and what my customers would think was brilliant/adorable/perfect. If someone wants the benefit of all of that time and experience in 7 days or less, $150 an hour is more than fair.
On the otherhand, if they want freebies, I'll be more than happy to give them the name of a good search engine and the keywords to start off with but that's about it.
Unless these people are offering you a stake in their business there is no logical reason to take actions that will hurt your own in order to help them.
Just remember - these people are complete strangers. Thy wouldn't know you if you were standing right in front of them so it really does not matter if they don't like you or think you are mean etc etc etc. These are people to lazy to put in the work to build their own business, they want someone to hand them what you had to work for. Do you honestly give a damn what they think of you?
~~~ • ~~~ • ~~~ • ~~~ • ~~~
An intelligent deaf-mute is better than an ignorant person who can speak.
posted on November 15, 2005 11:12:22 AM new
Sounds as if your customer is the one being rude and selfish - a lazy to boot.
You have done more than enough - so just tell her that you have given her as much information as you can and you only gave her that much as a curiosity for her being such a good customer in the past. Wish her well and learn from your error for the next time.
posted on November 15, 2005 12:39:15 PM new Sounds as if your customer is the one being rude and selfish - a lazy to boot.
Not at all. Di gave out the information freely. Me, I'm wondering if she'll loan me her ATM card and the PIN. Maybe if I promise to be her new best friend?
you only gave her that much as a curiosity for her being such a good customer
posted on November 15, 2005 12:54:13 PM new
Speaking of mining for information, I had a funny experience at that trade show a couple of weeks ago.
There was a clothing designer there who made women's casual wear. I asked her if she did anything with cats on it. (My ladies are big on cat themes.) She said she could probably do a cat embroidery on some styles but not others. I was looking at one of her top/pants set and asked, "Cotton jersey?" She didn't respond, so I tried again, "Is this cotton jersey?"
"I'm not going to tell YOU that!" she snapped back at me. I pointed out that if I were to sell her clothing on my web page I would need to know how to describe it, since touch is not an option. I assured her that I was not looking to rip off her design. She relented and told me there was cotton and spandex in the fabric. Geez, I hope that didn't hurt too much.
But there's a real difference between someone wanting to know more so they can be a direct competitor and someone trying to make a purchasing decision.
posted on November 15, 2005 12:56:34 PM new
Ok, Fluff, but all my best friends have to know how to play a mean game of Scrabble and drink cheap red wine. Meet these two criteria and you're in. Of course, once you find out I only have a buck fifty in my bank accounts, you'll probably decline the offer.
Well, update here.
I get an email entitled, "Nevermind" just a little while ago. Seems she contacted the woman who weaseled the manufacturer name out of me the first time. Klassy with a K.
I've learned my lesson, and you've all rightly served me up some tasty crow. I'll be having it for breakfast, lunch and dinner for the rest of the week!
Thx.
D.
On a scale of 1 to 10...we'd all weigh a lot less!
