posted on February 21, 2006 03:35:42 PM
I have had customers with serious illnesses before, but now I have one who is dying and confined to her home. I would rather not jeopardize her privacy by specifying her illness.
It has become clear that somehow my customer has the money to support her eBay purchases and that shopping brings her pleasure.
She likes to communicate frequently, especially about the seriousness of her condition. Apparently some other sellers have been less understanding. I am running out of things to write and what adds pressure is that she probably cherishes the contact through email. Gives a whole new meaning to customer support.
Have you had a situation like this, and what did you do?
posted on February 21, 2006 03:45:16 PM
My guess at this point it really is more about the contact than the actual shopping. I think a lot of shopping is like that. I know my mother-in-law does QVC and stuff because they try to connect with you, ask you how things are going - When you don't have a lot going on, I guess this makes you feel better? I know with my MIL she was buying $1000 worth of cosmetics (which she doesn't use) instead of paying her mortgage, it got ugly. I've had ill customers (like emphysema) but none terminal that I know of.
posted on February 21, 2006 03:53:53 PM
I was going to mention this to Adele half-jokingly in another thread, but there are actually support groups for people who are hopelessly addicted to QVC.
There are other groups for people who don't want to be cured.
Something for everyone, I guess.
they try to connect with you, ask you how things are going
I have never purchased anything from QVC (or HSN, for that matter) but I guess I should try it to see how they "connect".
posted on February 21, 2006 03:54:23 PM
Fluffy,
Better watch out Fluffy, your soft side is showing.
Seriously, I think it is great that you have taken the time to make friends with her. No one should have to go through an illness alone.
You might find some support groups on-line for her type of illness and let her know about them.
I know I have made contacts online for the illness my father has and the support in those groups can sometimes make the difference in making it through a tough day.
Chatting with someone who understands the situation is so much better than talking to some one who does not understand or know what to do.
And keep up the good work. The warm glow of knowing you helped someone in need lasts much longer than the money from an auction.
[ edited by LtRay on Feb 21, 2006 03:56 PM ]
I have a customer who, when she started buying from me, had a brother who was diagnosed with inoperable cancer. We were in constant contact throughout his illness and it was heartbreaking the day she emailed to tell me he had died. Because I, too, had lost a brother, I suppose she felt like I would understand what she was going through. Sometimes, people just need an understanding ear. They don't need comments or suggestions, just an ear.
Sometimes it's hard for people who are dying to maintain friendships. Even people who you thought were close friends, drift away. People don't know how to handle the situation and become frightened off. Maybe that's the case with this woman. I think it's grand that you are keeping communication open with her. You are someone that she feels she can be totally honest with and someone she doesn't have to put up a brave front for.
Cheryl
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
posted on February 21, 2006 05:28:06 PM
Fluffy, really--are there support groups for QVC buyers?! I wonder, sometimes, when I hear these lonely-sounding women call in and chat with the hosts; sometimes they say they have two sets of the same cookware, things like that. I'm so careful with my money that I only buy things I know I can wear right away, or gifts like jewelry, purses, or bedding for our grown kids.
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posted on February 21, 2006 05:44:17 PM
I don't doubt there are support groups. My MIL definitely has an addictive personality to begin with, definitely hooked on cigarettes and prescription meds. With shopping, I am sure it was to fill her life with something. We went through some rough times, because she was buying stuff instead of paying bills - Her house went into foreclosure more than once. Thankfully, we have solved the problem though. She agreed to an irrevocable trust, and all of her assets are there - Even the house she now lives in. She can't get to anything except her Social Security Money, which she uses to shop on QVC! At least all of her other bills are paid for though, life is happier for everyone now.
posted on February 21, 2006 05:54:10 PM
Hi Fluffy,
Well, no, I haven't had a situation quite like this so I'm not sure what I'd do. Maybe increase the communication interval, perhaps wait a day before replying to her email?
Just wanted to say I admire you for helping this poor lady through her plight. For that you are a star in my book!
posted on February 21, 2006 06:26:33 PM
C'mon, you guys are making me feel uncomfortable. I'm sure you'd do the same, each and every one of you. That's why I thought you might have some ideas what to write.
I did find a short article I'd saved on mixing and matching silver jewelry that I will send her. There are some cute ideas.
I agree that keeping it light is best, and would suggest that if you need to get some distance, to do so gradually, as quite likely she feels that the rug has been pulled out from under her, and you don't want to add to that feeling.
As regards not knowing what to write, I don't know that you have to say much. Men usually have this problem with women, when they try to offer suggestions or solutions or diversions, but many times what is needed is simply the equivalent of a sympathetic look.
posted on February 21, 2006 07:06:43 PM
Fluff, it is good thing to keep up communications with her. Keep it light as when you tend to talk illness with others it sometimes brings you down. them too. So a good light spin on things might help her a lot. You are an excellent story teller you can wow her with some jewelry tales. The chat rooms with people with same problem is a good place to maybe suggest to her.
I had a lady who called my home phone and got my wife one day just to ask a really silly question like had we gotten her payment or some such thing. LOL she had just mailed it the day before. She kept my wife on phone for almost an hour. Deb said she was just so lonely she didn't have the heart to cut her off. In a couple of days that lady sent the most heart felt email I think I had ever gotten thanking Deb for the chat that it really helped her face her day with cheer instead of missing her recently passed husband so desperately. So know how some folks out there cope by buying things. She kept in touch for some time then nothing I think she was rather elderly , almost 80. Never did know what happened to her wish her family would have emailed but then who knows.
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Can't touch this! uh huh, uh huh.
posted on February 21, 2006 07:29:31 PM
I had a older man who was in and out of the VA hospital a lot, he bought DVDs from me all the time. He would e-mail me after doctor visits and kept me posted on how he was doing. We would talk about old movies,he seemed to like that. I don't think he had any family and one day I didn't hear from him anymore. He was such a joy to write back and forth with. I have had some customers send me unexpected gifts.
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Two men sit behind bars,one sees mud the other sees stars.
posted on February 21, 2006 07:31:46 PM
This may sound crazy but why not offer to help her get set up selling on ebay. She would not be in it for the money but she could buy and sell off ebay and maybe find some fulfillment in what remains of her life. It can be a real challenge to buy something on ebay and sell it for a profit. Guide her to the places she needs to go and hope this occupies her time and free you up at the same time.
She could find it rewarding and I'm sure you would too as you seem to be very compassionate.
posted on February 22, 2006 09:30:56 AM
Fluffy -
I am so pleased and impressed to see you've taken the time to correspond with this person. Whether you keep it light or whatever, I know she'll appreciate the contact.
I haven't had a customer like that but was there myself about 11 yrs ago with a cancer diagnosis when I was given a year. Obviously they were wrong! I didn't have a computer then but sure would have enjoyed the support groups, etc.
Again, you've earned a jewel for your crown in heaven.
posted on February 22, 2006 10:12:43 AMShe kept my wife on phone for almost an hour.
When I was suspended from eBay again a week after the previous suspension, once I regained my listing privileges I started putting my phone number in all my listings, in big letters, right up at the top.
(This was before I found out that was verboten.)
I expected that people would use it to check on their orders. But you wouldn't believe (or maybe you would) how many people called just to chat.
posted on February 22, 2006 11:21:09 AM
Fluff, I would believe it for sure. Have had calls from buyers as I have my phone number on my notices guess it is on ebay to release that number as I have bought items and some other sellers don't have a number on their ebay invoices. But I would rather have the number than not so customers could call if need too.
I bet you got swamped with calls having it on auction page.
My brother who buys on ebay will call a number if it is on there ME page or where ever to get more information on about 99% of everything he buys. Don't agree with that but can also understand expecially if it is high dollar item which he tends to look for bargins in at ebay. At least he doesn't just chat...LOL
**************
Can't touch this! uh huh, uh huh.
posted on February 22, 2006 11:38:06 AM
The Beatles had it right: "All the lonely people. . . ." So many out there. When I go to our little p.o. here in our mountain community, it's mostly older men who want to talk. I think most of them are widowers and are really lonely. The older women seem to have lots to do, still, even if they're widowed.
I always take the time to chat a bit with lonely people. There's nothing to be lost by helping to brighten someone's day, giving them at least one real contact with a human being.
And. . . we may all be in that spot someday, right?
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posted on February 22, 2006 09:29:32 PM
For those of us who have made a whole lot of money before eBay (fLuff - I'm sure you fit in this category), one of the few bennies we get in eBay sales is the way we touch other people's lives. I have hit a homer a few times and it is so much more fullfilling than hitting a quarterly forecast (although financially, much less lucrative) Cherish the moment.
posted on February 22, 2006 09:40:15 PM
Pixi-- I hear you! I've told people many times that selling on eBay (and meeting the good people who post here in Vendio) has restored my faith in human beings. It's easy to be a bit sour about humanity in general--at least for me in the past.
The buyers I get the best goodies from are the new ones. I always encourage them to ask as many questions as they'd like, beginners as they are, and sometimes their feedback reflects that they appreciated the extra help.
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