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 LtRay
 
posted on March 8, 2007 08:48:22 AM
I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dog (cat) Lola and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog (cat)........ Duh!

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time-- but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. Her eyes about bugged out of her head.

I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her. Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital?

I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.
 
 tomwiii
 
posted on March 8, 2007 09:18:56 AM
As Ralphie always says:

"Because I can..."





 
 max40
 
posted on March 8, 2007 09:50:59 AM
After I picked myself off the floor, I stole your joke. Emailed all my friends.
Thanks
 
 niel35
 
posted on March 8, 2007 10:55:43 AM
too much! LMAO

 
 LtRay
 
posted on March 8, 2007 11:03:05 AM
I just had to share it. I laughed so hard I almost cried.

For some reason, I can just see Fluffy telling that story. She is the only person that I think could do it with a straight face.
 
 cashinyourcloset
 
posted on March 8, 2007 12:11:19 PM
I had oral surgery this week that turned out to be more extensive than anticipated. My boiler cracked and has to be replaced. I lost my phones and Internet for 24 hours.

I laughed and laughed (ouch, it hurts to laugh) when I read this. Thank you, and thank you for picking the perfect week to post it (for me, anyway).

 
 twig125silver
 
posted on March 8, 2007 02:52:59 PM
ROFLPIMP!!!



 
 
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