posted on April 26, 2008 09:31:04 PM new
The whiny, complaining buyers have just got on my last nerve. They don't fit right, it's smaller in person, I don't like it. You know what I want to tell them? I lost my cousin on Saturday, my grandmother on Wednesday and my mother today and I could care less what any of you want right now. The final straw was the email I just got. "WE RECIEVED THE RING PROMPTLY THANK YOU. THE PEARLS ARE SMALLER THAN I EXPECTED. MAY I RETURN IT?" What I wanted to tell them was "HELL NO. The ring is a dainty size 5. Just how big do you want the da@#ed pearls to be?" They paid a whopping $85 for a 14k gold diamond and pearl ring. What the heck is the matter with these people? EBay has made it nearly impossible to refuse anything these people want anymore. If you do refuse them your stars get dinged the heck out of and your sales go in the toilet. I honestly don't care how much money I may be making right now, they just are not worth it to me anymore.
Maybe I'm just tired. But, my God, these people can't even give me time to grieve. Rant over.
posted on April 26, 2008 09:47:05 PM new
Your mom just passed today? I am so so so sorry. I know it wasn't unexpected but I also know it is still very hard to lose your mom, no matter how old you are or no matter what the circumstances.
You have so much on your plate. Is there any way you can put your eBay auctions on hold for a bit?
posted on April 26, 2008 09:56:11 PM new
Cheryl, I am sorry to hear that you lost your mom and grandma and cousin.
To have this many,very stressful things to occur in one's life so close together; is much more difficult than most could confront.
Working can fill your thoughts and mind.Some think this helps them and they consume their selves into work or other activities.
This has proven to not be the solution.
Cheryl allow time to grieve.
I know I am out of place to say that ... but it is out of concern.
Sorry to read about your losses , my heart goes out to you.
I hope you do not get upset with me, for saying this
posted on April 26, 2008 11:04:31 PM new
Oh, Cheryl - so much at once! I'm sorry to hear about your family's passing. Do take time to grieve. ~Adele
_____________________
posted on April 27, 2008 06:01:13 AM new
Cheryl,
Sorry to hear you lost your mom,granma and cousin.
It is the mentality on EBay these days,they probably would like to resell it for a few hundred dollars or stash away thinking that their networth has gone up a few hundred dollars!
*
Lets all stop whining !
posted on April 27, 2008 06:01:22 AM new
Cheryl: My deepest condolences. It is so hard do lose someone dear to you. In the last few years we have lost all 4 parents and a brother, and it makes you so extra sensative at that time. Things that normally wouldn't bother you, become huge. I agree, you need to give yourself a time to grieve, you don't need anymore stress in your life right now. Why not copy a message to copy and paste to ASQ explaining the situation.
posted on April 27, 2008 06:40:59 AM new
Thanks, everyone. I didn't sleep a wink last night. I have my nephew's birthday today and I really don't feel like going to it. My step father, Joe, hasn't been able to bring himself to go home. He's staying at his son's house. There are just too many memories at the house. I don't know when I'll be able to go there again. She's everywhere in that house.
I do take comfort in that Joe took good care of mom. He bathed her, changed her, did her hair and her nails. He rarely left her side for the last year. She went down so fast. You always think you'll have more time. She broke her elbow about 5 months ago and it's been downhill every since. She got to the point where she couldn't talk or even eat. She was surviving on Ensure shakes. Alzheimer's is a cruel disease that affects the entire family.
posted on April 27, 2008 07:08:17 AM new
I am so sorry to read of your losses, Cheryl.
Losing loved ones is never easy, no matter how 'prepared' you think you are, it is still hard to find relief in the fact that they are no longer suffering.
Lean on your close friends and family when you can, it is what they are there for.
eBaY really doesn't need to matter right now.
The recent changes and changes to come will only find more of the same indifferent buyers. We will all wait and hope that the wonderful eBaYers of the past will find their way to us and balance it out eventually. Please don't let the turkeys effect who you are or what you need to do right now.
Take time for yourself.
Sending warm thoughts and hugs {{{val}}}
posted on April 27, 2008 07:43:01 AM new
oh my gosh, cheryl... tom & i send you and your loved ones our deepest condolences. let me know if there's anything at ALL i can do to help. it's gonna be a rough while. God bless you each and every one.
~ marcia
posted on April 27, 2008 02:35:12 PM new
So sorry for your loss Cheryl. My condolences to you and your family.May God grant you the strength need to get through this time of need.
Jason,Kelly and Amanda
posted on April 27, 2008 04:33:01 PM new
My sincerest condolences, Cheryl. Please take time to grieve, it's an important part of the healing process. The ASQs can surely wait.
posted on April 27, 2008 07:20:30 PM new
Thank you all for your kind thoughts and prayers. I'm hoping this gets easier. Today I got so angry I through a cup full of water clear across the room into the wall only to hear my granddaughter say, "That was my cup, grandma, but that's okay. I understand". That, at least, got a smile. I talked to my step father today and he's so hoarse from crying he can barely talk. I guess it wouldn't be so bad if the last year or so of her life hadn't been hell for her. It wasn't painful, but to slowly lose your memory, your ability to eat, to talk, to walk is hell. I'm asking people to give a small donation to the Alzheimer's Foundation of America in the name of Jeannine Rinaldi. I've told people that that would be a better thing than flowers. My grandmother had this and my mother. My chances look pretty good. I'm telling you, I don't want to put my loved ones through that.
The hardest thing is knowing that I can never pick up the phone to call her when I'm feeling down or I have a problem or to just say "I love you, mom". My father lives in Florida so she was really all I had. I'll get through this. I've lost a brother, a husband, numerous friends to AIDS. Somehow we get through it.
posted on April 27, 2008 07:40:23 PM new
The hardest thing is knowing that I can never pick up the phone to call her when I'm feeling down or I have a problem or to just say "I love you, mom".
cheryl:
I talk to my dad all the time.
It's been over 8 years since I picked up the phone. I miss his responses, but I know he is still there for me. I miss his hugs most.
I dont think it gets 'easier with time', it just becomes 'different'.
The anger lessens.
The impulse to pick up the phone to share things and the harsh reality that he is not there to call?
It doesn't stop me in my tracks anymore.
He is still here in so many ways.
I'm sure it is different for everyone and I haven't had anywhere near the losses that you have.
My dad died much too young (in his 60's) but it was fast and painless and in his sleep ~ the way he wanted to go but grossly premature (IMO).
Your mom is still with you and that cruel disease no longer pains and controls her.
I'm hoping that you can find a little peace in that.
{{{you are in my heart}}}
posted on April 27, 2008 09:08:03 PM new
Cheryl, I can't afford a monetary donation now, but will list a good postcard with proceeds going to Alzheimer's Research Foundation, Fisher Center. Their Missionfish address is here http://www.missionfish.org/NPMMF/nphomepage.jsp?NP_ID=9495
I hope other Vendioers who can afford to will do the same or make a donation to an Alzheimers group directly. It is such a cruel disease, we need to conquer it.
posted on April 28, 2008 04:41:49 AM new
Unfortunately, you cannot just take a break from Ebay when it's your primary source of income, like it is for me.
I'm so sorry for your losses, I am heartbroken for you - remembering how lonely and sad it was when I lost my father, having to keep up with day to day business makes it all the more difficult - particularly when you have whining customers paying less than wholesale in many cases for their purchases.
After my Dad passed away, my feedback suffered exponentially -- I'm still just under 99% because of it -- before you reply to your customers, take a deep breath and don't hit that send button until you are absolutely sure that's what you want to say.
Feel free to rant away to us though - that's what we're here for...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Caroline
posted on April 28, 2008 02:19:40 PM new
Cheryl, I am so sorry you lost so many family members in such a short time. Life can be so difficult, but somehow we go on.
posted on April 28, 2008 04:00:19 PM new
I've really been terrible to live with the last few days. I'm just so sick of "how are you?" I told Ken to stop asking me that. Ugh. Now he's pouting. Once is okay. But, don't ask me daily, several times a day. I was at the mall today picking up a clock I had engraved for my step-father and he even had to call and ask me then. I would laugh if it wasn't so darned annoying. I think he's used to how his sisters were. When their mother died, you could hear the wailing all over the hospital. That's not me. I grieve, but I prefer to do it in private.
Thanks again, everyone! Even my customers are turning out to be real gems. I'm pleasantly surprised by that. The couple of problems I had worked themselves out nicely (thankfully). And, as Caroline said, this is my only full time job and unfortunately, I can't not do it. Between flowers and the gift for my step father, I've spent $300+.
Zoomin - I talk to my brother all the time, too. I lost him in 1996. I still can't believe it's been 12 years. It still feels like yesterday.
posted on April 28, 2008 11:37:51 PM new
Cheryl, my heart goes out to you. I am so sorry. Please heed what others say and try to take quiet time so you can find some peace within.
Caroline