posted on July 11, 2001 06:37:32 PM new
There are charity auctions on several sites to help a woman who has terminal cancer. I would love to help her out as much as I can by putting up some auctions and donating the proceeds to her. One of the sites is waving all fees on the auctions for her.
Now my problem is every time I start to put up an action to help out, I think of my poor husband. He should have retired years ago, but has to keep working because I cannot get a "real" job since I have poor health. His SS pays our medical insurance with a few dollars left over. What I make on the auctions helps out but is not enough to let him even think about retiring. He says he doesn't care as long as the bills are being paid.
Now I wonder how fair is this to him to give to another when we most certainly can use it ourselves. The nature of his works makes him work nights and very early in the morning and it really bothers me to know that he has to do this. In addition he has to recruit his own customers so it is not as though he is sitting behind a desk getting a weekly pay check. On the other hand I believe that we are our bothers keepers and to do what I can.
I need some clear thinking on this and I know it is not such a big deal compared to other problems that I read about on RT but it is a dilemma that has bother me for awhile. I appreciate your thoughts on this.
posted on July 11, 2001 08:13:17 PM new
You sound like a very nice person who simply realizes that you don't have the resources to help everyone you are aware of needing help and still feel you are respecting your husbands contribution.
What is a common amount of money you are free to make a discretionary purchase for - that is what would you feel free to spend for entertainment or to go out to eat because you want to as a break?
If you can spend that amount of resources as a personal thing for the satisfaction of helping it would seem reasonable. You can always say that is my treat to feel I have helped this time instead of going out to dinner or a movie.
If you are so tight you don't ever make an occasional frivilous purchase maybe you should leave the privilege this time to others without feeling any guilt. There are LOTS who can do so at no hardship.
posted on July 11, 2001 08:20:43 PM new
They do say that charity begins home. They also say that what goes around comes around.
I'd say that if you *want* to donate one item for a charity item, and if doing so won't mean that you & your husband go hungry this week, then do it.
I'm not a religious person (athiest in fact), but I have found in life that doing good for others often brings rewards in unexpected ways. That movie that came out last year, Pay It Forward merely ripped off an philosophy that people have been following for years.
posted on July 11, 2001 09:02:00 PM new
Well said Bunnicula. I am religeous but see to my dismay that it turns charity for many from a privilege to an obligation. Reminds me of one petitioner who said "Lord if you just want to..."
posted on July 12, 2001 09:18:14 PM new
Charity does not have to be about money. It can also mean time. Giving of yourself can be even more rewarding than giving money.
Help a neighbor in need, drop a few coins in the collection containers at the local 7-11, call a lonely shut-in.
Even taking a teddy bear or two to the local ambulance station is helpful. They give them to the children who are hurt and ride in ambulances.
I work a lot with the American Cancer Society and have some incredible items that would do well on the auctions. Please email me and I will try to help. If they are on eBay, I will list the items. If not, I will send them to you if you can list on those sites.
posted on July 12, 2001 10:57:57 PM new
I think you should help out anyone if you can helnjoe. Positive breeds positive, so you never know what might be around the corner for you and your husband!
