posted on September 20, 2001 02:52:04 PM new
While I don't have any kids myself, I was wondering, for those of you who do, or teach or whatever, how are they handling all of this?
posted on September 20, 2001 03:04:54 PM new
According to my brother, a high school teacher on a military base where new restrictions have gone into effect since the attacks:
As much as you might like to think their attitudes have changed in some way because of last week, they have not. Teenagers are still invincible, immortal, shallow, selfish, self-centered creatures, and I suppose they always will be. They simply see the horrors of New York and Washington as a nuisance, an inconvenience, an annoyance, and they only take the consequences as far as their petty. . .
posted on September 20, 2001 03:12:43 PM new
My daughter is 9 months old, she seems to be unaffected. She gives me support.
My wife teaches 6th graders, she brought home some papers kids wrote about the Sept 11th tragedy, some were a bit weird.
Today my wife came home late, a kid pulled a gun on one of the school buses and threatened another student. The gun was unloaded, but it did send everyone into panic mode assembling students in classrooms, waiting for the all clear. Business as usual for some kids.
posted on September 20, 2001 03:40:30 PM new
OMG, uaru. Another angry youth.
Our sons are grown adults. How are they handling this? Our eldest, a Marine is waiting for his orders to come through. They're all on standby. When I express my fear for his safety, he quickly told me this is what the Marine's are there for. To protect and serve their country.
Our youngest is 30 and trying to go on with his life, just like most of us.
posted on September 20, 2001 04:07:58 PM new
Well, my oldest is 5 years old. She saw a picture when the WTC was first on fire before it collapsed and asked me why that building was on fire. Mustering all of the strength that I could, I told her in simple terms what happened. She then asked, "Are there any babies in there?" To which I replied, "I don't know." Then I asked her if she had any more questions. She said, "Yes... Mommy, how do dogs fall in love?" I almost fell over. My kids are great medicine for me. She seems unaffected by it now. She is still a bit young, though, to comprehend the totality of it all.
posted on September 20, 2001 04:51:24 PM new
Thankfully, my four year old has little understanding of what's going on. If it doesn't involve barbie dolls, crayons, horses, the potty, or Blue's Clues, she doesn't notice it. I'm glad for that.
My eight year old is fully aware, though. My whole extended family, including siblings, are in New York and Connecticut, and she's visited them, and the city, so she had a lot of questions. The first thing she did, the night after it happened, was to run down a list of family members, asking if I'd called to make sure they were OK. They all are, though shell-shocked.
I don't know. I still haven't fully digested the images of those two buildings crumbling...the pictures still seem surreal. I can't expect my children to understand it either.
posted on September 20, 2001 05:04:33 PM new
My boys are pretty much grown, 21, 19, and 17. They have two friends, aged 21, that joined the Army last fall. 3 weeks ago they were sent to Kuwait, now they are on their way "somewhere", but they cannot say where. My 19 year old was going to join the Air National Guard last fall as well, but he had a hernia that had to be repaired. In the meantime, he changed his mind about signing up. He was the very first thing I thought about on Tuesday.
My sons seem to really understand the gravity of this new "normal". We've all watched the news reports, especially Tuesday evening after it happened. My oldest son's girlfriend lost an uncle at the Pentagon, so he is seeing the grief first hand. His girlfriend's mom and grandmother are both having a very tough time.
My daughter is 14. She hasn't said much, but did mention not being able to watch the reports now. It is getting more difficult, today's news was tough to watch with the families saying goodbye as the troops were leaving.
We do talk about it every day still...with the disbelief still hanging overhead.
posted on September 20, 2001 05:42:28 PM new
I've been trying to persuade my daughter to wear a gas mask to work
while traveling on the metro to work in Washington DC. but she is 30 years old and she just laughs at me.
When I finally got in touch with her on the 11th to tell her to evacuate the building, she told me that she was waiting for the traffic to die down.
posted on September 20, 2001 09:38:30 PM new
I have a 2 year old a 12 year old and a 19 year old.The oldest lives on her own and has been spending a lot of time here with us the last week and a half.She seems bothered the most.
posted on September 20, 2001 09:58:53 PM new
I picked my 6 yr old up from school early the day of the attack. I didn't know what the school was telling the kids and I wasn't sure I wanted them to be the ones to break the news. With relatives still living in NY, I didn't want him to freak out thinking they may have been involved. (Fortunately, none of our family is missing loved ones.)
We had been to NY just a few weeks prior and it was his first opportunity to see the skyscrapers from the Brooklyn side (while stuck in traffic on the Brooklyn/Queens Expressway). He had always seen them from a distance while we crossed the Verrazano Bridge.
While I was glad he had the opportunity to see the towers, I am sad that he will never be able to visit them now. That was his only request while we visited NY, was to come back and go into the various skyscrapers, as I named the different buildings for him.
When we got home, he saw the replay and it was not real for him. He just didn't seem to understand that the hijackers had not survived. It was just a movie for him.
What is real to him, is that his classmates will be going without their fathers or mothers as they deploy. He wants to share his dad and I with his classmates. What is also real for him is the armed sentries just outside the gate of his school as well as the humvees stationed at various locked gates of the base. (We live within very close proximity to a military installation, with his school being on the perimeter of the base.)
I'm thankful that my youngest is but an infant and blissfully ignorant as to what is going on around him.
posted on September 20, 2001 10:01:24 PM new
I have two girls, homeschooled, age almost 13 and 4. My 12 year old got up with us, skipped "school" that day and watched it for hours.
She understands what is happening. She is familiar with such events as we cover them blatantly in biographies often. She has seen "Saving Private Ryan" 30 times. She is undisturbed but very serious.
My four year old asked me if bad guys can get you while you are driving when we were on the way to the bank. She doesn't understand what happened. She knows buildings burned because planes crashed and there were bad guys. She knows it was real and not a movie. She knows who the president is. She hasn't ever questioned as to whether bad guys can get you at home because "Daddy is here". She is afraid of bad dreams even without this.
My oldest has commonly listened to hubby and I talk casually about such issues as one world government, firearms legislation, war, survival issues, prophecy, etc. She is strong and alert.
T
posted on September 20, 2001 10:27:38 PM new
Let me play Devil's Advocate here as this is a thought that has occured to me several times over the years.
Could it possibly be that we ourselves cause children more anxiety than an event does? Not just this event, but any negative event?
When I was 8 years-old I was home sickfrom school & watching TV and actually saw President Kennedy being assassinated. And as I grew up, the war in Vietnam was on TV every night (along with bloody protests against it), and so were Civil Rights demonstrations (complete with dogs attacking people & fire hoses battering them with water). Kids at my schools died--in accidents, suicides, and even a murder or two. Children being exposed to bad, terrible, tragic things is not new.
But never, in all my childhood, were psychologists, counselors, etc. etc. etc. rushed into schools after any of the above. Neither I nor anyone I knew was subjected to endless questioning about how we felt about these things. Made to discuss it over & over to assure parents that we were "dealing" with it in the right way. Asked to draw pictures in school to show how we "felt" about it.
Terrible events weren't ignored, by any means. But they weren't obsessively dwelt on, either. I think sometimes that children are *driven* to being upset & worried by adults who keep picking away at them about whatever occured. The more it is brought up, the more the kids begin to believe that they *should* be scared or upset.
posted on September 21, 2001 01:11:59 AM new
I don't have any 2 legged children, but I do have 4 legged children. I can definitely say they have been affected quite a bit. It still amazes me how much animals pick up on your emotions...
posted on September 21, 2001 03:54:23 AM new
Good point, Bunnicula! We are creating fear in children when we dwell on a frightening subject. Young children don't really understand death, war, religious differences. They do understand Mom or teacher is scared, and react accordingly.
My DH is a counselor and has had to deal with many disturbing situations in his career. It has been his observation that expectations by the faculty of mass hysteria among the students generally creates 'mass hysteria'-a case of 'jumping on the band wagon', which kids are good at doing.
And I can't believe anyone would allow a young child to sit and watch all of this on tv all day! TV newscasters are the worst in the world at fearmongering and misinformation.
I'm not saying that we should pretend nothing is happening. But let the children be children as long as possible. It is our job to prepare for any eventuality, and to protect these children. It is their job to grow and develop in a safe, calm, and loving environment.
posted on September 21, 2001 03:55:56 AM new
My 2 have been paying attention to everything that is going on. They ask many questions (they are 11 and 9), and want to knowwhat they can do to help. My 9 year old went to the local fire department yesterday, and handed the firefighters some cookies and her birthday money: $31.00, that she was going to use for a game. My son took a "loan" against his allowence to give it to them.
The kids understand what is needed, it's general society that does not.
