stusi
|
posted on November 20, 2001 08:03:13 AM new
A South Florida man was killed yesterday while testing a new powerboat. As they were not anywhere near any bridges, he apparently thought his buddy was joking when he screamed "DUCK!" He was then struck in the head by a fast-flying duck. Both died at the scene.
|
uaru
|
posted on November 20, 2001 08:51:58 AM new
Hard to believe a man was killed by a duck, but yup. Man Dies in High-Speed Crash With Duck.
The news story just scratches the surface of the real story. Witnesses have been hushed up at the scene. The CIA has been training ducks for such attacks for years now. I doubt there's anyone unfamiliar with the CIA's "Fowl Deeds" operations. There is also wide talk of a second duck involved in the death challenging the one duck theory.
Any way you look at it the man was definitely ducked.
|
krs
|
posted on November 20, 2001 08:57:41 AM new
The men killed were both organizers of the peace brigade which attacked democratic voter registration booths around the state. One of them is a nephew of Anthonia Scalia, mother of the supreme court justice.
|
KatyD
|
posted on November 20, 2001 09:12:04 AM new
Not only that, the NTSB has been named lead investigative agency, but the FBI is in possession of an amateur video showing an explosion under the duck rear tail feathers and its wing falling off shortly before it hit the jet skier. There are unconfirmed reports that the duck was guided by a remote control device developed and funded by the CIA.
KatyD
|
plsmith
|
posted on November 20, 2001 09:28:47 AM new
|
hjw
|
posted on November 20, 2001 09:45:47 AM new
All Americans are being advised not to discuss the duck affair because there is evidence that it presents a security issue. A former member of an online *chat board gang* is being sought in connection with deployment of the duck bomb.
A military tribunal and immediate extermination, no questions or evidence necessary, awaits the individual responsible for the death of the water skier. According to Ari, duck bombing cannot be tolerated during this time of national emergency. Although we welcome immigrants, they will be tried and excuted before their family realizes thatthey did not return home that day.
President Bush announced today that the noose is beginning to narrow and the net is getting tighter on this duck bomber.
Helen
[ edited by hjw on Nov 20, 2001 09:57 AM ]
|
hjw
|
posted on November 20, 2001 10:01:46 AM new
Black heliocopters are now encircling Biloxi, Mississippi.
|
mybiddness
|
posted on November 20, 2001 10:35:28 AM new
I'm relieved to see that this fowl conspiracy has been unveiled. If it had been a chicken we'd have heard about it a long time ago.
Not paranoid anywhere else but here!
|
stusi
|
posted on November 20, 2001 11:45:06 AM new
You guys are hilarious but no one has mentioned the all too obvious Peking Duck connection.
|
snowyegret
|
posted on November 20, 2001 11:45:34 AM new
What a canard.
You have the right to an informed opinion
-Harlan Ellison
|
saabsister
|
posted on November 20, 2001 11:59:12 AM new
If truth be known, he died at the hands of a quack.
|
plsmith
|
posted on November 20, 2001 12:05:03 PM new
Actually, it was a deranged, genetically-engineered turkey, but with Thanksgiving just around the corner the government (under severe pressure from the poultry industry) thought it best to suppress the truth.
http://www.straylake.com/scavolaarch03.html
Adopt a Turkey!
http://www.farmsanctuary.org/campaign/c_turkey2001.htm
|
rawbunzel
|
posted on November 20, 2001 12:23:52 PM new
I already adopted a turkey. It's in my fridge.
|
hjw
|
posted on November 20, 2001 12:25:22 PM new
Pat
You are guilty of calling a duck a turkey.
And by revealing information that the bird was genetically engineered, you are guilty of doing harm to American industry.
Ashcroft has placed you on the wanted list of threats to America and now, the FBI, CIA and NSA are looking for you.
Line up behind uaru and wait.
Any effort to change the topic of this thread from a duck to a turkey will be supressed.
Helen
|
sweetpotato
|
posted on November 20, 2001 12:36:51 PM new
The dearly departed Mr Resnick was a resident of Hollywood - I suspect we will all know the truth when the Farrely brothers' next epic opens.
plsmith - that deranged turkey's name wasn't "liberty" by any chance , was it? 
|
plsmith
|
posted on November 20, 2001 12:44:44 PM new
heh, you guys are so silly...
Here I am, standing in line behind uaru
|
enchanted
|
posted on November 20, 2001 12:53:06 PM new
I suppose he may have shouted "Pluck you!" to the duck first. That'll teach him.
|
saabsister
|
posted on November 20, 2001 12:53:54 PM new
plsmith, shouldn't you be wearing that outfit while reading the "Explosive" thread?
|
mybiddness
|
posted on November 20, 2001 12:56:08 PM new
At least they can't claim it was a lame duck.
Not paranoid anywhere else but here!
|
hjw
|
posted on November 20, 2001 02:04:34 PM new
Ok...It was a chicken and now the poor thing is being choked by the infamous Ashcroft.
Helen
|
hjw
|
posted on November 20, 2001 02:21:41 PM new
If Ashcroft will choke a poor little nekkid chicken, Pat, just think what he may do to you!
Ha Ha Ha!
Helen
|
snowyegret
|
posted on November 20, 2001 02:25:14 PM new
Pate.
You have the right to an informed opinion
-Harlan Ellison
|
uaru
|
posted on November 20, 2001 02:25:54 PM new
Just in case you didn't know. When men are talking about choking their chicken it probably has nothing to do with preparing poultry for market.
|
enchanted
|
posted on November 20, 2001 02:30:09 PM new
ulp! Uaru...
|
hjw
|
posted on November 20, 2001 02:53:36 PM new
I am totally shocked at that revelation uaru!
I've heard about derailing a thread but this turn of events is catastrophic.
Your data sheds new light on our chicken thread which we do not want to pursue.
Whew!!!
Helen
|
saabsister
|
posted on November 20, 2001 03:50:42 PM new
We're assuming he hit this duck head-on, but if he rear-ended it, it could have been a goose.
|
