posted on December 9, 2001 08:50:06 PM newThe following is from a 1950's Home Economics textbook intended for High School girls, teaching them how to prepare for married life.
Have dinner ready ... Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal--on time! This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking of him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.
Prepare yourself ... Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.
Clear away the clutter ... Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dustcloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.
Prepare the children ... Take just a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they're small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
Minimize all noise ... At the time of his arrival, eliminate noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
Be happy to see him ... Greet him with a warm smile and act glad to see him.
Some DON'Ts ... Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he's late for dinner. Count this as minor compared to what he may have gone through that day.
Make him comfortable ... Have him lean back into a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to massage his neck and shoulders and take off his shoes. Speak in a soft, soothing, pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.
Listen to him ... You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.
Make the evening his ... Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relaxed.
The goal ... Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
posted on December 9, 2001 09:53:48 PM new
It's hard to believe that I have managed to stay married all these years! I don't seem to be following the rules.
I guess I could try to pick up the clutter and maybe be a little gay.
I can just imagine trying to fit all that in between selling online and the packing and shipping. Oh, yeah, that's right. In this fantasy world, women didn't need to work and every man was responsible, earned well and took good care of his wife and children. Reality has a nasty habit of intruding on those fantasies.
BTW... I did try to be the pleasant housewife described above in my first marriage, which of course didn't work at all in preventing or solving real-life problems, and ended in divorce anyway ....
A truly sacrificing 50's housewife didn't ask for Rinso automatic washing detergent... she scrubbed the clothes on a washboard in a tub. No dryer, hung 'em on the line outside to be fresh and clean smelling for your hubby and kids. Stepford wives... run for your life!
posted on December 10, 2001 05:20:59 AM new
G'morning snowy
Yep, I'm not quite sure what I'd do if it ever turned out to be all about me, me, me. That poor man in that description with all the pressure and work weary colleagues. Um, sounds like my life. So... where's my wife to massage my neck and make my dinner?
posted on December 10, 2001 06:49:45 AM new
My Dad worked for the same company for 40 years. At times he worked two or even three jobs to provide for his family. Men in the 50's had a strong work ethic. That textbook seems humorous and trite, but no doubt there was a stronger family ethic in those days. 'Hard to know exactly what went wrong in our society.
posted on December 10, 2001 07:08:26 AM new
twinsoft, it probably wasn't a very satisfying way to live for either the husband or wife. All the financial burden fell on the men and any educated woman would be bored to death with that scenario - it was all work and not much recognition for women. My parents had that typical relationship until my mother decided to go to work after my father retired. ( I went to the library to get some books on retirement for my father a few months before he retired. The librarian took one look at the books I'd chosen and came back with another one. She said,"this one's for your mother - she's going to need it". One of my sisters stays home with her two children but not before teaching school for ten years. It's all about options - for both people.
posted on December 10, 2001 10:01:17 AM new
Well, some men seem to want to turn back the clock:
The plain truth is that many men feel that American women have lost the sort of values they are looking for in a wife. We often hear men describe American women as shallow, selfish, obsessed with their careers, decadent, divorce happy, too busy to have children, etc.
