A Halliburton Christmas

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profe51	posted on December 20, 2003 07:20:11 PM new LOS ANGELES, Dec. 20 (UPI) -- A recent audit revealed that politically connected Halliburton subsidiary Kellogg, Brown & Root, awarded government contracts without competitive bidding, may have overcharged the Pentagon $61 million for gas delivered to Iraq. Here is another recently discovered Kellogg, Brown & Root Invoice: INVOICE FROM: Kellogg, Brown & Root TO: The Pentagon RE: Twelve Days of Christmas (1) PARTRIDGE @ $7,899.99...........................$ 7,899.99 PARTRIDGE PEN @ $1,249.99......................$ 1,249.99 PARTRIDGE FEED - 20 lbs. @ $55/lbs. ...........$ 1,100.00 PARTRIDGE WRANGLER - 95 hrs. @ $250/hr.........$ 23,750.00 (1) PEAR TREE @ $13,398.............................$ 13,398.00 CERAMIC PLANTER @ $954.99......................$ 954.99 TOP SOIL - 12 lbs. @ $22/lbs...................$ 264.00 WATERING CAN @ $467.77.........................$ 467.77 PRUNING SHEARS @ $369.69.......................$ 369.69 GARDENER - 140 hrs. @ $300/hour................$ 42,000.00 (2) TURTLE DOVES @ $5,800 per DOVE..................$ 11,600.00 (2) CAGES @ $999.99 per CAGE...................$ 1,999.98 (2) PERCHES @$288.88 per PERCH.................$ 577.76 DOVE FEED - 40 lbs. @ $37.50/lbs...............$ 1,500.00 DOVE TRAINER - 220 hrs @ $290/hour.............$ 63,800.00 (BACK-UP DOVE) @ $5,800........................$ 5,800.00 (3) FRENCH HENS (IMPORTED) @ $11,798................$ 35,394.00 HEN HOUSE @ $6,548.77..........................$ 19,646.31 HEN CHOW - 60 lbs. @ $39/lbs...................$ 2,340.00 HEN HANDLER - 180 hrs. @ $175/hour.............$ 31,500.00 (4) CALLING BIRDS (CANARIES) (SOLD ONLY PER DOZEN) @ $17,550/Doz............$ 17,550.00 CANARY COOP @ $5,666.66........................$ 5,666.66 CANARY SEED - $80 lbs. @ $147/lb...............$ 11,760.00 CANARY CONSULTANT - 80 hrs. @ $185/hour........$ 14,800.00 (5) GOLD RINGS @ $22,000 per RING...................$ 110,000.00 (5) RING BOXES @ $740 per BOX..................$ 3,000.00 RING POLISH - 6 Gallons @ $119/Gal.............$ 714.00 RING POLISHER - 75 hrs. @ $150/hour............$ 11,250.00 SECURITY GUARD - 240 hrs. @ $200/hour..........$ 48,000.00 (6) GEESE-A-LAYING @ $6,900 per GOOSE...............$ 41,400.00 (6) GOOSE NESTS @ $891.44 per NEST.............$ 5,348.64 GOOSE CHOW - 300 lbs. @ $199/lbs...............$ 59,700.00 GOOSE NET - $299.99............................$ 299.99 GOOSE GATHERER - 200 hrs. @ $350/hour..........$ 70,000.00 (7) SWANS-A-SWIMMING @ $9,800 per SWAN..............$ 68,600.00 (7) SWAN STALLS @ $1,100 per STALL.............$ 7,700.00 SWAN SPECIALIST - 280 hrs. @ $225/hour.........$ 63,000.00 POND INSTALLER - 160 hrs. @ $290/hour..........$ 46,400.00 POND FILTER @ $2,323.34........................$ 2,323.34 (8) MAIDS-A-MILKING (COWS NOT INCLUDED) -- 105 hrs. @ $125/hour per MAID...............$ 105,000.00 (8) MILKING GLOVES @ $77 per PAIR..............$ 616.00 (8) MILKING STOOLS @ $229.79 per STOOL.........$ 1,838.32 (8) BUCKETS @ $172.19 per BUCKET...............$ 1,377.52 MILKING TRAINING SIMULATOR @ $4,638.91.........$ 4,638.91 MILKING COACH - 105 hrs @ $235/hour............$ 24,675.00 (9) LADIES DANCING - 240 hrs. @ $165/hour per DANCER..............$ 356,400.00 (2) UNDERSTUDIES - 240 hrs. @ $165/hour per DANCER.........$ 79,200.00 (11) LEOTARDS @ $285.85 per LEOTARD............$ 3,144.35 (11) TUTUS @ $169.69...........................$ 1,866.59 (11) BALLET SLIPPERS @ 312.18 per PAIR.........$ 3,433.98 CHOREOGRAPHER - 280 hrs. @ $375/hour...........$ 105,000.00 (10) LORDS-A-LEAPING - 195 hrs. @ $185/hour per LORD...............$ 360,750.00 (2) STAND-IN LORDS - 195 hrs. @ $185/hour per LORD..........$ 72,150.00 (12) LEAPING BOOTS @ $327.72 per PAIR.........$ 3,932.64 (12) KNICKERS @ $270 per PAIR.................$ 3,240.00 (12) PUFFY SHIRTS @ $210.50 per SHIRT.........$ 2,526.00 (12) POWDERED WIGS @ $329.39 PER WIG..........$ 3,952.68 LEAPING SUPERVISOR - 220 hrs. @ $265/hour.....$ 58,300.00 FIRST AID KIT @ 428.12........................$ 428.12 (11) PIPERS PIPING - 160 hrs. @ $195/hour per PIPER..............$ 343,200.00 (2) ALTERNATE PIPERS - 160 hrs. @ $195/hour per PIPER.........$ 62,400.00 (13) FLUTES @ $516.17 per FLUTE...............$ 6,710.21 MUSICAL DIRECTOR - 175 hrs. @ $245/hour.......$ 42,875.00 REHEARSAL HALL RENTAL 60 hrs. $680/hour.......$ 40,800.00 (12) DRUMMERS DRUMMING - 212 hrs. @ $188/hour per DRUMMER............$ 478,272.00 (2) REPLACEMENT DRUMMERS - 212 hrs. @ $188/hour per DRUMMER.......$ 79,712.00 (14) DRUMS @ 456.72 per DRUM..................$ 6,394.08 (3) DOZEN DRUMSTICKS @ $41 per PAIR...........$ 1,476.00 DRUM INSTRUCTOR - 240 hrs. @ $211/hour........$ 50,640.00 TOTAL.........................................$ 6,246,874.51 The Twelve Days of Christmas - $6,246,874.51. Having a former chief executive officer as vice president of the United States -- Priceless. ___________________________________ The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then gets elected and proves it. -- P. J. ORourke (Holidays in hell, 1989)
yellowstone	posted on December 20, 2003 10:16:16 PM new Looks like fuzzy math to me. I added it twice and I came up with $3,158,074.51 Accuracy, now that's priceless! Whoops I spelled "accuracy" wrong, now it's accurate. [ edited by yellowstone on Dec 20, 2003 10:21 PM ]
colin	posted on December 21, 2003 04:07:48 AM new It's got to be $6,246,874.51, The Prof is a teacher. Amen, Reverend Colin
Helenjw	posted on December 21, 2003 06:31:57 AM new Lol...Halliburton and Bechtel bring the Christmas spirit to Iraq! Helen
profe51	posted on December 21, 2003 07:00:11 AM new What ever difference you come up with is the price of the cows ___________________________________ The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then gets elected and proves it. -- P. J. ORourke (Holidays in hell, 1989)
CBlev65252	posted on December 21, 2003 07:33:43 AM new Good one, prof, even if, according to yellowstone the figures don't add up. Who gives a cow anyways? It's a perfect reflection of this administration - the numbers just don't add up. Cheryl http://tinyurl.com/vm6u
austbounty	posted on December 22, 2003 09:03:22 PM new Reasons Why You Should Re-elect George Bush!

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