posted on February 22, 2004 06:17:03 AM new
Why? Why do domestic partners feel the need to hit or mentally abuse the other? It has never made sense to me...
All I see is more and more of this.... makes no sense...
posted on February 22, 2004 06:31:30 AM new
they take their problems home and take it out on the weaker ones,aka their spouse or kids or older parents .
may be their spouse do something which they think the only way to correct it is thru physical force??or some form of punishment-physical or mental.
do you ever watch a cat play with the mouse before it kills??
have you ever seen a case where a man come home from work and abuse a wife who has more money and/or better job than he does??
-sig file -------the lobster in the boiling pot of water who tries to prevent the others from climbing out.
posted on February 22, 2004 10:14:35 AM new
I don't know if there's more of it, or if we're just hearing about it more because the abused aren't as afraid to report it and/or do something about it.
Goodbye, Earl
"The cops came by to bring Earl in
They searched the house
High and low
Then they tipped thier hats
And said "thank you ladies
if you hear from him let us know"
Well the weeks went by and
Spring turned to Summer
And Summer faded into Fall
And it turns out he was a missing person
Who nobody missed at all"
___________________________________
posted on February 22, 2004 10:33:53 AM new
Predictors Of Domestic Violence Checklist
Predictors Of Domestic Violence
The following signs often occur before actual abuse and may serve as clues to potential abuse:
Did he grow up in a violent family? People who grow up in families where they have been abused as children, or where one parent beats the other, have grown up learning that violence is normal behavior.
Does he tend to use force or violence to "solve" his problems? A young man who has a criminal record for violence, who gets into fights, or who likes to act tough is likely to act the same way with his wife and children.
Does he have a quick temper? Does he over-react to little problems and frustration? Is he cruel to animals? Does he punch walls or throw things when he's upset?
Any of these behaviors may be a sign of a person who will work out bad feelings with violence.
Does he abuse alcohol or other drugs? There is a strong link between violence and problems with drugs and alcohol. Be alert to his possible drinking/drug problems, particularly if he refuses to admit that he has a problem, or refuses to get help. Do not think that you can change him.
Does he have strong traditional ideas about what a man should be and what a woman should be?
Does he think a woman should stay at home, take care of her husband, and follow his wishes and orders?
Is he jealous of your other relationships—not just with other men that you may know—but also with your women friends and your family? Does he keep tabs on you? Does he want to know where you are at all times?
Does he want you with him all of the time?
Does he have access to guns, knives, or other lethal instruments? Does he talk of using them against people, or threaten to use them to get even?
Does he expect you to follow his orders or advice? Does he become angry if you do not fulfill his wishes or if you cannot anticipate what he wants?
Does he go through extreme highs and lows, almost as though he is two different people? Is he extremely kind one time, and extremely cruel at another time?
When he gets angry, do you fear him? Do you find that not making him angry has become a major part of your life? Do you do what he wants you to do, rather than what you want to do?
Does he treat you roughly? Does he physically force you to do what you do not want to do?
--------------
This site says that one in three woman will experience this abuse at least once in her lifetime.
posted on February 22, 2004 10:38:03 AM new
Why Do Men Batter Women?
Many theories have been developed to explain why some men use violence against their partners.
These theories include: family dysfunction, inadequate communication skills, provocation by women, stress, chemical dependency, lack of spirituality and economic hardship. These issues may be associated with battering of women, but they are not the causes. Removing these associated factors will not end men's violence against women. The batterer begins and continues his behavior because violence is an effective method for gaining and keeping control over another person and he usually does not suffer adverse consequences as a result of his behavior.
Historically, violence against women has not been treated as a "real" crime. This is evident in the lack of severe consequences, such as incarceration or economic penalties, for men guilty of battering their partners. Rarely are batterers ostracized in their communities, even if they are known to have physically assaulted their partners. Batterers come from all groups and backgrounds, and from all personality profiles. However, some characteristics fit a general profile of a batterer:
A batterer objectifies women. He does not see women as people. He does not respect women as a group. Overall, he sees women as property or sexual objects.
A batterer has low self-esteem and feels powerless and ineffective in the world. He may appear successful, but inside he feels inadequate.
A batterer externalizes the causes of his behavior. He blames his violence on circumstances such as stress, his partner's behavior, a "bad day," alcohol or other factors.
A batterer may be pleasant and charming between periods of violence, and is often seen as a "nice guy" to outsiders.
Some behavioral warning signs of a potential batterer include extreme jealousy, possessiveness, a bad temper, unpredictability, cruelty to animals and verbal abusiveness.
----------------
I believe women batter men too.....mostly through verbal abusiveness, rather than physical abuse.
posted on February 22, 2004 11:15:30 AM new
high blood pressure
-sig file -------the lobster in the boiling pot of water who tries to prevent the others from climbing out.
posted on February 22, 2004 08:35:36 PM new
Twelve, maybe the people you're referring to don't see themselves as abusers. Just like some people who spew hate and think they're spreading the gospel. I call it selective blindness.
posted on February 23, 2004 04:25:38 AM new
I know with my husband it was because that's all he saw growing up. His mother was abused physically and mentally. It generally starts out as mental abuse and escalates from there. The first time my husband hit me was the last time. When he saw the big 'ol butcher knife in my hand, he quickly left. We separated for a time. He did get help, though. At least he was one of those that was finally able to see his abusive nature. He still had a bad temper, but was able to control it. He did it more for the sake of his kids than anything else. He didn't want our daughter growing up to think that abusive is acceptable behavior and he didn't want our son to grow up to be an abuser.
posted on February 23, 2004 09:37:53 AM new
Abuse just does not have to be physical harm. It can also take the form of mental anguish and through a constant barrage of hateful words. I think someone missed the point on that.
I don't think any spouse would like to hear they are stupid, dumb or incompetent day after day.
Marriage is a Human Right not a Heterosexual Privledge
posted on February 23, 2004 10:31:34 AM new
abuse does not have to be man/woman,it could be adult/child or 2 women,or 2 men.
-sig file -------the lobster in the boiling pot of water who tries to prevent the others from climbing out.
posted on February 23, 2004 10:33:44 AM new
Goodbye, Earl
"The cops came by to bring Earl in
They searched the house
High and low
Then they tipped thier hats
And said "thank you ladies
if you hear from him let us know"
Well the weeks went by and
Spring turned to Summer
And Summer faded into Fall
And it turns out he was a missing person
Who nobody missed at all"
This from the same Dixie Clucks that protest the freedom of Iraqi's.
There is No excuse for domestic violence from EITHER spouce.
"An old, long-whiskered man once said to Teddy Roosevelt: 'I am a Democrat, my father was a Democrat, my grandfather was a Democrat.' Roosevelt then said: 'Then if your father had been a horse thief and your grandfather had been a horse thief, you would be a horse thief?'" --Will Rogers
posted on February 23, 2004 10:47:16 AM new
If that comment was addressed to me, I have missed nothing logansdad... queers aren't worthy of anything other than being told the path they have chosen is unacceptable...
posted on February 23, 2004 11:54:27 AM new
twelvepole,
i suggest you do more research on homosexuality,some claim they are born that way.
when the russian came to the aleutian island off alaska,they found among the natives-male,female and she-male.she-male accompanied males on long hunting trip,clean and cook and keep him warm in bed at nite.
no pregnancy,good help and able to defend himself,freeing the males to hunt .
-sig file -------the lobster in the boiling pot of water who tries to prevent the others from climbing out.
posted on February 23, 2004 11:56:07 AM new
there is an interesting movie based on true story-m butterfly of a french diplomat based in peking,china who carried on a 17 years affair with a chinese opera singer.
that singer is a man.
they even have a son.
-sig file -------the lobster in the boiling pot of water who tries to prevent the others from climbing out.
posted on February 23, 2004 12:21:00 PM new
Two Tough Questions
Question 1:
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion? Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.
Question 2:
It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three candidates.
Candidate A.
Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with an astrologist. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.
Candidate B.
He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.
Candidate C.
He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, only drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife. Which of these candidates would be your choice? Decide first ... no peeking, then scroll down for the response.
Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.
And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question: If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven.
posted on February 23, 2004 12:24:55 PM new
Survivor, Texas-Style
Network TV is reported to be developing a "Texas version" of "Survivor," the recent popular TV show.
Contestants must travel from Amarillo through Fort Worth, Dallas, Houston, San Antonio and back to Amarillo, through San Marcos and Lubbock. Each will be driving a Volvo with a bumper sticker that reads: "I'm for Gore, I'm gay, and I'm here to take your guns."
The first contestant to complete the round trip is the winner
posted on February 23, 2004 12:30:04 PM new
skylite,
you bore me to death,please take your volvo and start driving.
-sig file -------the lobster in the boiling pot of water who tries to prevent the others from climbing out.
posted on February 23, 2004 12:43:12 PM new
Would You Work For This Company?
Do you fancy working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics?:
* 29 have been accused of spousal abuse
* 7 have been arrested for fraud
* 19 have been accused of writing bad checks
* 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
* 3 have done time for assault
* 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
* 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
* 8 have been arrested for shoplifting
* 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
* 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year ...
Can you guess which organization this is?
Given up yet?
It's the 535 members of the United States Congress. The same group that cranks out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line
posted on February 23, 2004 12:45:46 PM new
Skylite,
Sounds like a good show. Will President Bush and Dick Cheney be in a pace car at the front of the pack?
Marriage is a Human Right not a Heterosexual Privledge
posted on February 23, 2004 01:25:33 PM new
skylite,
sure i will work for that company.a paycheck which does not bounce is most important to me these days
-sig file -------the lobster in the boiling pot of water who tries to prevent the others from climbing out.
posted on February 23, 2004 01:32:02 PM new
Yeah, Stopwhining, you could run on a platform of abolishing capital letters and punctuation. If you ran in Texas, you could probably win hands-down...
