posted on February 22, 2004 10:59:21 PMFull credit for the following goes to the hilarious 'art guerilla' who posts all over the Internet, suffering the slings and arrows of disbelievers and apologists with a smile and a brand of rep par tee than no one can mimic or outdo.
...when you start quoting the bible,
you can start 'defending' some
weird sh!t...
hee hee hee
IN DEFENSE OF BIBLICAL MARRIAGE
PROTESTANTS FOR THE COMMON GOOD -- The Presidential Prayer Team is currently urging us to: "Pray for the President as he seeks wisdom on how to legally codify the definition of marriage. Pray that it will be according to Biblical principles. With many forces insisting on variant definitions of marriage, pray that God's Word and His standards will be honored by our government." This is true.
Any good religious person believes prayer should be balanced by action. So
here, in support of the Prayer Team's admirable goals, is a proposed
Constitutional Amendment codifying marriage entirely on biblical principles:
A. Marriage in the United States shall consist of a union between one man and
one or more women. (Gen 29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5)
B. Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines, in addition to
his wife or wives. (II Sam 5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron 11:21)
C. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the
wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed. (Deut 22:13-21)
D. Marriage of a believer and a non-believer shall be forbidden. (Gen 24:3; Num
25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Neh 10:30)
E. Since marriage is for life, neither this Constitution nor the constitution
of any State, nor any state or federal law, shall be construed to permit
divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9)
F. If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the widow.
If he refuses to marry his brother's widow or deliberately does not give her
children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe, and be otherwise punished in a
manner to be determined by law. (Gen. 38:6-10; Deut 25:5-10)
G. In lieu of marriage, if there are no acceptable men in your town, it is
required that you get your dad drunk and have sex with him (even if he had
previously offered you up as a sex toy to men young and old), tag-teaming with
any sisters you may have. Of course, this rule applies only if you are female.
(Gen 19:31-36)
posted on February 23, 2004 02:37:59 AM
Are you as ignorant in real life as you post on these boards?
As you like to say, I am betting you don't "spew" this sh*t anywhere else away from a computer... must get your little jollies off to keep bashing the Bible...
Oh well if that gets your old crap flowing then enjoy...
posted on February 23, 2004 06:27:40 AM Verses A.B.C.D.E.F.G.
In other words, while maintaining male dominance, maximize procreation so that the congregation of believers will grow!!! Then pass the collection plate.
posted on February 23, 2004 07:01:15 AM
Way to go Pat.
Thanks for quoting those pasaages.
Once again it appears that your post doesn't agree with twelve's views so everyone else is wrong.
Since people are using religion as their basis for saying gay marriages are wrong, I thought it was appropriate to quote those passages.
I like the following especially:
C. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the
wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed. (Deut 22:13-21)
E. Since marriage is for life, neither this Constitution nor the constitution
of any State, nor any state or federal law, shall be construed to permit
divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9)
Marriage is a Human Right not a Heterosexual Privledge
posted on February 23, 2004 12:17:41 PM
Republicans in Hell
While walking down the street one day, a Republican head of state is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in." says the Republican.
"Well, I'd like to but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."
"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven," says the Republican head of state.
"I'm sorry but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts the Republican to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a club and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him, everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, hug him, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar. Also present is the Devil (a Republican, too), who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes.
They are having such a good time that, before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator
rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
"Now it's time to visit Heaven." So 24 hours pass with the Republican head of state joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
"Well then, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your eternity."
He reflects for a minute, then the head of state answers: "Well, I would never have thought it, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell."
So Saint Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags. The Devil comes over to the Republican and lays an arm on his neck.
"I don't understand," stammers the Republican head of state. Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and club and we ate lobster and caviar and danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable.
The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted for us!"
posted on February 23, 2004 12:39:24 PM
Twelve:
It is a privilege plain and simple... what part of that don't you understand?
Talk about someone else's views... how about you look in the mirror...
That is your one sided view, Twelve. It is people like you that cause the minorities in this country to stand up and fight for what they believe in. As long as people are discriminated against there will always be these debates. I accept the fact that not everyone will have the same view points, but at least I have the b**ls to listen to the other sides arguments and understand where they are coming from. Perhaps, I will change my views, perhaps they will change theirs. In the long run we will both be better off because we are a little more educated when it is all said and done.
I do look in the mirror and I am happy with who I am. I love my parents, they love me. I am a Christian. I have a partner that means the world to me, a good job, a house and two loving dogs. I don't want anything else. When I am no longer part of the living, I only have to worry about pleasing one person and that person is certainly not you.
You can continue being a bigot and continue preaching your hate. It will not make a difference in my life or in the life of anyone else on here.
Marriage is a Human Right not a Heterosexual Privledge
posted on February 23, 2004 12:46:43 PM
"You can continue being a bigot and continue preaching your hate. It will not make a difference in my life or in the life of anyone else on here."
posted on February 23, 2004 01:36:40 PM
Logansdad, the sad thing about Twelve, is if he stopped being so derogatory and disrespectful in his posts, some of his views might have shreds of validity as being another way of thinking. Promoting hate is Twelve's right. He does it well and wants everyone to know how he feels. Besides it being sad at best, my concern is he gets all of his ideas from the Bible. God told him to be the way he is. Like God telling Bush to start a bunch of neverending wars. These interpretations are killing us as a society. They set man against man. Lost people buy into this like bees to honey, never ever entertaining the thought that they might be part of the problem and not the solution. Hate is self-destructive, which I guess is a good thing - it's just sad to see these people self-destruct in front of you, especially Twelve, who I think has a good person living inside him... somewhere.
Logansdad, the sad thing about Twelve, is if he stopped being so derogatory and disrespectful in his posts, some of his views might have shreds of validity as being another way of thinking. Promoting hate is Twelve's right. He does it well and wants everyone to know how he feels.
If all twelve wants to do is promote hate, then that is his right under the constitutuion - until Bush decides to change that as well. I am not against him expressing his views
Hate is self-destructive, which I guess is a good thing - it's just sad to see these people self-destruct in front of you,
I agree hate leads nowhere good. It is because of hate we still have racism, sexism and discriminatiion in the country and this is what is tearing this country apart and leading society down an immoral path. For once I would love to see some of these "promoters of hate" be persecuted for their beliefs and see how they like being in the minority.
Marriage is a Human Right not a Heterosexual Privledge
posted on February 23, 2004 06:00:21 PM
Linda, Bush has stated that he gets his messages from God on how to run the country. So far, God has told him to lie a lot and to go to war. Same way God is directing Twelve's life and tells him to hate minorities and American women. It's the highest form of hypocracy there is and is called 'living in a glass house'.
posted on February 23, 2004 06:28:23 PM
Kraft, I have NEVER spoken about minorities... to even suggest that is beneath contempt... Queers are not minorities... how about pulling your head out of your ass....
posted on February 23, 2004 06:41:59 PM
It is always interesting to see the reaction of christians when confronted with material from the bible that they just can't handle.
posted on February 23, 2004 07:07:39 PM
KD - No, he didn't say that either.
It doesn't appear to bother some that clinton believed in the same Bible and it's teachings as Bush does. And that clinton proved his support of "Bibicial Marriage" by signing the Defense of Marriage Act [DOMA].
posted on February 23, 2004 07:17:00 PM
Good for Clinton. You'll never get me to buy into the club that God gives his stamp of approval to people that promote war and hate.
posted on February 23, 2004 07:24:06 PM
DRAMA QUEEN
YOU MIGHT BE A DRAMA QUEEN IF
You identify closely with a soap opera character.
You think Tammy Faye Bakker showed great restraint in the face of adversity.
You Might Be A Drama Queen If
Your favorite author is Barbara Cartland.
You own a fainting couch and use it...often.
You practice crying prettily in front of the bathroom mirror.
Meryl Streep declined playing your life story because she doesn't have the range.
You go through more than one box of Kleenex per 'cry'.
You've fainted more than once in the past twelve months.
You have ever uttered, "I could just SCREAM!"
Scarlett O'Hara is your role model.
You strike a pose upon entering a room.
You've had a temper-tantrum since turning eighteen.
No one ever asks you how you are because they're afraid you might tell them.
posted on February 23, 2004 07:24:19 PM
kraft and snowyegret, on that site there's probably something that would suit each one of us at one time or another.
posted on February 23, 2004 07:51:23 PM
I was thinking the "Bride" soap would suit you best, Helen. My choice has nothing to do with the innocence you've conveyed here about your sexual knowledge - just so you know.
