posted on August 12, 2004 02:09:55 PM new
N.J. governor resigns, admits affair
By JOHN P. McALPIN
Associated Press Writer
Published August 12, 2004, 3:50 PM CDT
TRENTON, N.J. -- In a stunning declaration, Gov. James E. McGreevey acknowledged that he had an extramarital affair with another man and announced his resignation Thursday. "My truth is that I am a gay American," he said.
"Shamefully, I engaged in adult consensual affairs with another man, which violates my bonds of matrimony," the married father of two said. "It was wrong, it was foolish, it was inexcusable."
The Democrat said his resignation would be effective Nov. 15.
McGreevey said he would step down because his secret -- both his sexuality and his affair -- leaves the governor's office vulnerable.
The former suburban mayor took office 2 1/2 years ago, and despite inheriting a $5 billion budget deficit, he steadfastly refused to boost income taxes for most New Jerseyans, instead raising taxes on millionaires, casinos and cigarettes.
But he has been dogged by several scandals involving fund-raising.
Among those caught up in recent scandals were his first chief of staff and former counsel; a top Democratic fund-raiser and former high school classmate; and real estate developer Charles Kushner, McGreevey's biggest campaign contributor, who was charged with trying to thwart a federal campaign-finance investigation by luring a grand jury witness -- his own brother-in-law -- into a compromising position with a prostitute and sending video and photos to the man's wife.
McGreevey would be the second governor to resign in weeks, following the resignation in June of Connecticut GOP Gov. John Rowland amid corruption investigations and threats of impeachment.
McGreevey rose from suburban mayor to state chief executive by his tenacious pursuit of party politics, maintaining a power base days after he narrowly lost to Republican Christie Whitman in 1997.
McGreevey never truly stopped that campaign until he won in November 2001, beating Republican Bret Schundler by 15 percentage points.
Born in Jersey City, McGreevey graduated from Columbia University in 1978. He earned a law degree from Georgetown University in 1981 and a master's degree in education from Harvard University a year later.
posted on August 12, 2004 03:30:16 PM new
Wow, logans, that's some scandel! The sad part to read is - was he right in thinking he had to hide his homsexuality to gain acceptance among the voters of NJ?? I guess we will never know. It seems odd to me, for some reason, gay women in policitics do not have the same kind of problem? He must be relieved - how difficult to live a double life like that. But what an awful thing for his family to go through publicly.
[I do note however, wryly, he was a democrat whose own brother stooped to such gross tactics that are usually claimed being done only the repulicans?]
Nobody worth their salt should want to go into politics anyway. Its like a pool game where you just wait to see who can smack down the eight ball faster, harder.
[Can ya hear that smack and crack of the balls, logansdad? - I can, after reading this. ]
posted on August 12, 2004 04:58:25 PM new
I know his wife must be upset, but she will eventually get over it. I am glad he finally admitted who he really is. I just wish he would have been single and come out of the closet with his "gay lover".
Let's have a BBQ, Texas style, ROAST BUSH
------------------------------
YOU CAN'T HAVE BULLSH** WITH OUT BUSH.
------------------------------
We the people, in order to form a more perfect Union....
.....one Nation indivisible, With Liberty and Justice for ALL.
posted on August 12, 2004 05:07:59 PM new
It is unfortunate that he resigned. How many Americans resign from their jobs because they had an affair with someone else? Not many, and the reason is that they don't really have anything to do with the other (unless it was within the workplace).
Can you imagine if you worked at a job for 10 years, committed adultry outside of work and were asked to resign?
It shouldn't matter whether the person is gay or not. The fact is that he betrayed his wife and his family. In a perfect world, this should be treated like any of us would want to be treated, and it shouldn't have any affect on his career. It should be handled within the family.
posted on August 12, 2004 05:11:17 PM new
I live in NJ. He resigned because he was about to be sued for sexual harassment.
Coming clean also gives the Dems a chance to bounce him and get a shot at the next election. This "secret" was quite well known, so I think the party pulled the rug out from under him.
He was so bad the Republicans could run Richard Nixon's corpse and win.
posted on August 12, 2004 05:12:37 PM new
I'm sure it was no shock to his wife as maybe she had an inkling about it. I don't understand why he resigned. I don't agree with gay marriages but I do agree that they can hold office and be true to the office.
posted on August 12, 2004 05:16:47 PM new
I think there's going to be more to this story. I can't quote it verbatim, but on the ABC evening news there was a man mentioned who was charging the governor with sexual misconduct. And more details would be coming out in the days ahead.
they also said something about him meeting a man somewhere and them giving him a $100,000 a year job. they didn't specifically say that the man was his lover, but that's what I believe they were implying.
posted on August 12, 2004 05:26:18 PM new
"I don't understand why he resigned. I don't agree with gay marriages but I do agree that they can hold office and be true to the office."
Like I said, he did not resign for being gay. If the guy was popular they would have just started the pc bs machine and rode it out. This is a GODSEND to the Dems and they took it.
graft
multiple hinky doings
downgraded bond rating
posted on August 12, 2004 05:31:05 PM new
Sorry but the OP didn't give any details. I will tell you I will not judge a person by their sexual orination. But as I said I don't approve of gay unions.....
posted on August 12, 2004 05:55:42 PM new
It's a shame that anyone in this day and age has to hide the fact that they are gay. If you are a good person, it shouldn't matter if you're gay or straight, black or white, religious or an athiest. What matters is how you treat other people and the good you do in the world. It's shame how so many find it easy to look up to a liar with admiration and pride and down on a gay person with hate and disgust. But then, I'm the kind of person who will cry with someone I don't even know if they are hurt physically or emotionally. I find it easy to feel the pain or joy another is feeling. That's not always such a good thing. My Reiki master told me I walk around with a beacon shining over my head and that's why I seem to attract people who seem be emotionally needy.
Cheryl
. . .if you still try to defend the infamies and horrors perpetrated by that Antichrist- I really believe he is Antichrist- I will have nothing more to do with you and you are no longer my friend.. . - War and Peace, Tolstoy
posted on August 12, 2004 06:15:51 PM new
Twig: Yeah, the wife will eventually "get over it". They have two children, will they?
It depends on the children's ages and how the other family present the situation to them. It won't be easy. It never is when there is children involved - even in straight divorces.
As a few other have mentioned I am sure there will be more to the story that comes out in the next few days. I am sure if he just had an afair, he could have dealt with the backlash as most politicians have done in the past.
Let's have a BBQ, Texas style, ROAST BUSH
------------------------------
YOU CAN'T HAVE BULLSH** WITH OUT BUSH.
------------------------------
We the people, in order to form a more perfect Union....
.....one Nation indivisible, With Liberty and Justice for ALL.
posted on August 12, 2004 07:01:26 PM new
I can relate to how I handled it.....
Yeah, I eventually "got over it". If I had known, I would NOT have married him. If I had an "inkling", I would NOT have married him. I bore him two children. They were young...pre-school, when we divorced. (He also fought the divorce for 2 years...you can do that in PA...go figure.) He told HIS family that I "slept around", not true, but he couldn't tell THEM the real reason. He was also in the military, with a top secret clearance. BTW- HIS mother still doesn't know.
As for the kids- I figured when they were old enough to ask me point blank if their father was a homosexual they were old enough to know and THAT'S when they were told. My daughter is OK with it, my son wants to be OK with it.
The problem for ME wasn't WHAT SEX he did it with. The problem was that it wasn't the person he swore before God and our family to be faithful to.
posted on August 12, 2004 07:12:48 PM new
TerryAnn
A friend of mine was in the opposite situation. Ron was a gay man married to a woman. They had a really good marriage at first, but it became too difficult for him to continue. His daughter is just fine. She's wonderful and well adjusted. His son is a different story. Maybe it's different with sons. His daughter took care of him (he had AIDS) right up to his death and revered him more than her mother. Her mother downed Ron all the time in front of the kids. While the "downing" stuck with the son and drew him closer to his mother, it drove the daughter away.
Has to be a tough situation to be in for all parties concerned. I applaud the way you handled it!
Cheryl
. . .if you still try to defend the infamies and horrors perpetrated by that Antichrist- I really believe he is Antichrist- I will have nothing more to do with you and you are no longer my friend.. . - War and Peace, Tolstoy
posted on August 13, 2004 05:52:39 AM new
As I have said here on the past, I have some gay friends. Here is their brief stories.
One is an employee of the Post Office and works in a branch in Metro Detroit. He was in the closet and often thought that another coworker was going to out him to others at the PO. What was his answer to that? It wasn't to quit his job, but to out himself to everyone at work. He said it was a very difficult decision to make, but it worked out for the best. His reasoning was that if he came out as being gay, then he took away all of the power and control of the other co-worker.
Another was married and is now divorced. He has two daughters who live with him. They choose that as opposed to living with the mother. They are currently about 19 and 21 years old. They have know since their childhood and it is not a big deal for them.
I think that when this occurs, and I am sure that it may now much more than in the past. Remember we are living on a constantly changing society. The children's feelings have to be taken in consideration and they should NOT be used as pawns. They will only know the gay parent as the mom or dad, and that should never be taken away from them. The gay parent should never be made a villain when being spoke of. That should be in the rule in case of a gay or straight parent divorce.
Bigots are miserable people. Prevent Bigotry through Education.
“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we! They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.” ~ George W. Bush, 8/5/04
posted on August 13, 2004 05:56:16 AM new
The homosexual parent should be shunned and made ashamed of that choice as much as possible... to do other wise would be to allow that choice to be acceptable and that should never be the case...
Those children need to know how wrong their father is now, then they too can "get over it".
AIN'T LIFE GRAND...
posted on August 13, 2004 06:46:57 AM new
Below are taken from the Governor's speech:
"By virtue of my traditions, and my community, I worked hard to ensure that I was accepted as part of the traditional family of America. I married my first wife, Kari, out of respect and love."
"Yet, from my early days in school, until the present day, I acknowledged some feelings, a certain sense that separated me from others. But because of my resolve, and also thinking that I was doing the right thing, I forced what I thought was an acceptable reality onto myself, a reality which is layered and layered with all the, quote, good things, and all the, quote, right things of typical adolescent and adult behavior."
It is sad that society forces people to try to fit into a certain situation instead of allowing people be who they really are.
Let's have a BBQ, Texas style, ROAST BUSH
------------------------------
YOU CAN'T HAVE BULLSH** WITH OUT BUSH.
------------------------------
We the people, in order to form a more perfect Union....
.....one Nation indivisible, With Liberty and Justice for ALL.
“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we! They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.” ~ George W. Bush, 8/5/04
How unfortunate for you. If you can't reproduce, then you CAN'T GET MARRIED. After all, isn't that the whole point of being married, to bring children into this world? This what you folks in the anti gay marriage group say!!!
I used to work with a guy who was grossly over weight. Upwards of 475 pounds most of his adult life. His number one goal was to be married and have kids. This never happened and he was the most miserable person in the work place. I think that I now understand why you might be so miserable.
Bigots are miserable people. Prevent Bigotry through Education.
“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we! They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.” ~ George W. Bush, 8/5/04
posted on August 13, 2004 08:39:09 AM new
To think there are probably more men and women in marriages right now that shouldn't be. At least the governor had the courage to finally put an end to his.
There are probably people out there that would not have done what he did just to protect the children or try to live up to society's expectations.
Let's have a BBQ, Texas style, ROAST BUSH
------------------------------
YOU CAN'T HAVE BULLSH** WITH OUT BUSH.
------------------------------
We the people, in order to form a more perfect Union....
.....one Nation indivisible, With Liberty and Justice for ALL.
[ edited by logansdad on Aug 13, 2004 10:46 AM ]
posted on August 13, 2004 09:32:55 AM new
"At least the governor had the courage to finally but an end to his."
I know most people here like to comment extensively on things they know nothing about, and invent stuff to fill in the blanks, but there is no hand wringing necessary.
His term has been a COMPLETE disaster. His own party has been looking to get rid of him to salvage Assembly and Senate seats. This is akin to the General or cabinet member who commits a faux-paus and then "retires" because of "health" or "family matters".
The previous Rep. challenger is insisting the Dems leaked the prospect of lawsuit. Given the way the thing plays out, I don't doubt it.
posted on August 13, 2004 10:50:47 AM newHis term has been a COMPLETE disaster. His own party has been looking to get rid of him to salvage Assembly and Senate seats. This is akin to the General or cabinet member who commits a faux-paus and then "retires" because of "health" or "family matters".
There have been other politicians that have faced scandel after scandel and did not leave public office. They continued to deny everything to the very day they left office. I still feel he did the right thing to admit what he had done. It is not easy admitting your faults.
Let's have a BBQ, Texas style, ROAST BUSH
------------------------------
YOU CAN'T HAVE BULLSH** WITH OUT BUSH.
------------------------------
We the people, in order to form a more perfect Union....
.....one Nation indivisible, With Liberty and Justice for ALL.
posted on August 13, 2004 11:50:38 AM new
A short mention of this situation from the Federalist Patriot this morning:
It's midnight in the Garden State of good and evil. Bringing a whole new meaning to the term "swing state," New Jersey Democrat Governor James McGreevey will resign effective 15 November due to an affair with another man.
McGreevey is in his second marriage and the father of two young daughters. "I engaged in an adult consensual affair with another man, which violates my bonds of matrimony. It was wrong, it was foolish, it was inexcusable," McGreevey said.
He pontificated that remaining in office would leave him "vulnerable to rumors, false allegations and threats of disclosure."
Read: 'I'm trying to undercut a lawsuit against me and also keep a Democrat in office until 2006'.
On the latter, a special election would be held if he left before 15 November, but his lieutenant can take over the office until the 2005 election if he waits.
On the former, the man on the other end of the affair, Golan Cipel, an Israeli poet on McGreevey's "staff," is threatening a sexual-harassment lawsuit if he is not paid off. Despite having no security experience and, being a foreigner, having no clearance from the Feds, Cipel served as "homeland security advisor" to the governor. Cipel stepped down from that post in 2002 to become a "policy counselor." Sure.
Perhaps ex-Senator Robert Toricelli can be recalled from federal prison to step in and save the good name of the Democrat Party in New Jersey.
“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we! They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.” ~ George W. Bush, 8/5/04
Prevent Bigotry through Education.