posted on October 14, 2004 07:41:23 PM new
Chapter One: Comparatively Speaking
June 1969-Ho Chi Minh River, Vietnam:
“Incoming!! Incoming!!” The mortar shell whistled above the Lieutenant’s head and exploded in the river beyond the gunship. “Get down Corporal! Get Down!” The rat-a-tat of machine guns filled the air. The corporal pulled the trigger on one of the twin 50’s when a round from an AK 47 hit him, knocking him into the slimy river. Ignoring the heavy fire from the shoreline, the El Tee jumped into the river just as the wounded corporal was about to disappear below the surface. “I’ve got you, soldier,” said the Lt. as he drug the GI back onto the gunship. “First, I'm gonna finish blowing the hell outta these Charleys, and then I’m taking you back to base so they can fix you up and I am going to put you in for a Silver Star.”
Life in Vietnam was no picnic.
June 1972-Pecos River, Texas:
“Incoming!! Incoming!!” The empty bottle of Tequila whistled above the Lieutenant’s head and fell harmlessly into the once unpolluted river. “Get Down, man! Get Down!” The rat-a-tat of the Allman Brothers filled the air. The rich boy pulled the lever on one of the twin 32-gallon kegs of Lone Star beer when he was hit by a full bottle of Southern Comfort and knocked into the river. The Whiskey bottle bounced off of the young man’s shoulder and careened towards the floor of the 36-foot pleasure craft. Ignoring the plight of his comrade, the El Tee threw himself across the boat and caught the bottle. Watching as his friend floundered in the river, the Lt. opened the bottle, took a short drink and yelled to his shipmate, “You’re on your own Charles. First, I’m gonna finish the Blow that I’ve lined-up and then I’m gonna drink this here bottle of Whiskey. Then, if I feel like it, I’ll help you back in the boat.” The other rich boys and girls on the boat laughed and applauded, “Way to go Fly Boy,” said the privileged young man from Wyoming, “If you ever go back to Alabama, you should put in for the Silver Spoon!”
For some, life in the National Guard was a picnic.
“Bush, George,” said the pretty young redhead. “I call it a bush. Other girls call it other names, but I call it a bush. No, George wait, wait……oh no, but it’s OK Flyboy, everyone has pre-mature accidents now and then."
Next week: Chapter Two: Triple H-The Houston Halfway House
There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again." —George W. Bush, Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002
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Let's have a BBQ, Texas style, ROAST BUSH
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On This Week with George Stephanopoulos, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld declares: "the area… that coalition forces control… happens not to be the area where weapons of mass destruction were dispersed. We know where they are. They’re in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad and east, west, south and north somewhat."
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