bunnicula
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posted on July 25, 2000 11:38:36 PM
OK, here I am watching the news. The sports segment comes on and they start talking about a horse who had a...problem while heading for the starting gate. Actually, the horse had an erection & the commentators at the track were wondering if it would have trouble leaving the gate because of it. Now, what got my goat about this news segment, is that the station electronically hid the horse's "problem!"
I'm flabbergasted! I needed to be "protected" from the sight of a horse's penis?!? What? There are people out there who either don't know or don't want to acknowledge that male horses *have* penises? For pity's sake, what is next? Will they begin placing little black boxes over the breast and/or crotch areas of people appearing on TV just in case someone might be offended by bulges in the clothing?
Aaaaagh!
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krs
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posted on July 25, 2000 11:46:35 PM
If they used their heads they'd schedule horse hardons in the afternoon and strip the soaps of all ratings.
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pareau
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posted on July 25, 2000 11:52:59 PM
Bunnicula, those are sizable members, very impressive. The ladies would boggle, the men would squirm, and therein lies your answer.
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bunnicula
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posted on July 26, 2000 12:00:20 AM
Pareau: And yet I have seen National Geographic specials on *regular* TV (not just Animal Planet or Discovery Channel) that showed Elephants with erections. Said erections were not electronically smudged or blocked in any way. I think you can safely say that for sheer size, the penis of an elephant outshines that of a horse. To quote Young Frankenstein, "Vat a schwannstucker!" Why weren't we "protected" from *that*? Women nationwide must have been having orgasms in their living rooms while men expired from penis envy...
I get so tired of being "protected"
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pareau
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posted on July 26, 2000 12:07:42 AM
I can't even answer, I'm laughing so hard.
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pareau
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posted on July 26, 2000 12:09:34 AM
"Vat a schwannstucker!"
I'd forgotten all about this. I keep cracking up at your post. Ow, it hurts, LOL
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mybiddness
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posted on July 26, 2000 12:17:50 AM
Elephants have a shiney penis? I've definitely got to get to the zoo more often. 
This reminds me of the time I had to explain an uncomfortable nature scene to my daughter - she was five - it was "live" and I was really, really stumbling along through that one. Two horses going at it in broad daylight!
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bunnicula
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posted on July 26, 2000 12:25:10 AM
Hopefully you simply told her they were making a baby horse Kids can take reality a lot better than most parents give them credit for. A few years ago I was in the meat department of a store looking over the steaks. As I picked up a package a little boy standing next to me while *his* mother shopped asked "what's that red stuff?" and indicated the blood beneath the steak. I told him it was blood. His mother gave me the dirtiest look and yanked him away. What was I supposed to say? Tomato juice?
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mybiddness
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posted on July 26, 2000 12:31:53 AM
What made it a little harder to explain was because it had only been a few days earlier that she had walked in on hubby and I (forgot to lock the door) - We had told her we were playing horsie! No wonder the poor kid was confused.
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bunnicula
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posted on July 26, 2000 12:34:06 AM
Or she'll expect any baby brother or sister that come along to neigh...
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bitsandbobs
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posted on July 26, 2000 05:29:47 AM
Just Curious,
Was the horse race on the flat or over hurdles?
Ouch!
Bob, Downunder but never down.
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krs
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posted on July 26, 2000 05:31:06 AM
Bunnicula,
Don't bother taking sgtmike's test.
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Meya
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posted on July 26, 2000 05:35:12 AM
This reminded me of a story my mother-in-law told...
My brother-in-law, the oldest in the family was about 6 or so. He was looking out the front window, and saw two dogs doing the nasty...
He asked his mom if people did that. She replied, "Not out in the middle of the street."
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HartCottageQuilts
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posted on July 26, 2000 05:59:16 AM
I think that the immensity of the horse's "problem" might be rather disconcerting to the vast majority of the TV-watching public who have never seen one of - um, those before.
What I find kinda weird is that these guys are TALKING about it but the camera won't SHOW it.
Meya, your nieces and nephews will be blessed if they inherit their paternal grandmother's quick wit. I love that woman already. Thanks for passing along a real gem.
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bunnicula
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posted on July 26, 2000 09:45:51 AM
krs: what test is that?
HCQ: If the vast majority of adults haven't seen one of "those" before, why do we have such a population explosion? 
Actually the camera *did* show it--the news broadcasters were the ones who decided people were too delicate to be allowed to see it. By this reasoning, the thousands of people at the race track that day were "traumatized" by the event & now in need of counseling...
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pareau
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posted on July 26, 2000 09:57:51 AM
Bunnicula, I think the "those" HCQ is referring to are equine parts, not human. Unless there's been an increase in the centaur population that I somehow missed.
I'd just like to see the blue dot they used to blot out the shocking image.
[ edited by pareau on Jul 26, 2000 10:00 AM ]
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calamity49
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posted on July 26, 2000 10:09:53 AM
Bunnicula,
Your story reminds me of when my daughter used to show horses and ponies in halter. She had one pony who would "drop" which means drop and relax his penis whenever they lined up. She used to do everything she could to get him to draw it back up. Finally she reverted to kicking it when the judge wasn't looking. Two minutes later he would drop again and she would just stand there in abject embarrassment. We would all be rolling on the ground laughing around the ring. He was one onery pony.
Mybid, sure are glad you are back.
Calamity
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kiheicat
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posted on July 26, 2000 10:25:06 AM
OMG I'm LMAO at some of these posts!
Tomato juice, not in the middle of the street... LOL
Thanks for the morning chuckle, all
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bearmom
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posted on July 26, 2000 10:30:02 PM
This farmer took his cows to the neighbor's place to get them bred to the local prizewinning bull. When all was done, he asked how he could tell if the breeding had worked.
The rancher told him 'Look outside every morning. If your cows are on the hill, it didn't work, so bring them back and we'll try it again. If they're at the bottom of the hill, they're pregnant.'
The next morning, the farmer anxiously looked to see where his cows were, and located them on top of the hill. So he loaded them back in the truck and returned to the rancher's bull.
The second morning he peered out the window and there they were again at the top of the hill. Now, he was beginning to get a little discouraged, but he loaded them up in the truck and made the trip to see the bull again.
The third morning, he just could not bring himself to look, so he asked his wife to. She stepped out on the porch, then returned to the kitchen where he sat nervously waiting. 'Well, where are they?' he asked.
His wife smiled and answered 'In the truck, waiting for you!'
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sgtmike
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posted on July 26, 2000 10:43:43 PM
I wonder if prolonged contact with cold water would work on a horse....too?
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calamity49
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posted on July 26, 2000 11:10:09 PM
Nope sarge,
Just takes a second. Kind of like with dogs. Except I guess with all of the leash laws people don't see that much anymore.
It would be kid of embarassing to take a squirt bottle into the show ring, though, but had my daughter though of it she probably would have done it.
Calamity
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zoogal2
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posted on July 27, 2000 06:20:21 PM
All of these post are so funny! They remind me of that something that happened about 3 summers ago at the zoo.
We have these summer camps that come into the zoo for the day and we give them tours. I had taken my group of about 30 middle school students out on the safari bus where the animals roam wild.I stopped the bus in front of the elephants and was not really paying attention to them as I started my lecture on them. All at once one of the children yelled."LOOK !!! That elephant is having a baby!!! I looked (knowing we did not have a pregnant elephant) and all the children stopped talking and stared. The camp counselor and I both realized that we were looking at a very aroused elephant.The counselor then said " No kids that elephantis not giving birth. Then one of the kids said "then what is it?" The counselor then looked at me with a straight face and said " I don't know why don't you ask the tour guide" GEE THANKS!!!
All eyes are now on me so I say very simply."ummm that is a MALE elephant" in unison all the kids yelled "OHHHHH!!!" then a brief pause and then "WOW!!!!"
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bunnicula
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posted on August 3, 2000 11:26:03 PM
Oh for crying out loud! Just listening to the news again (NBC) & my attention is caught by a story....seems there was a bit of statuary in a town (didn't catch the name) that depicted two children playing. The girl figure was being squirted by a boy figure with a squirt gun. Seems that some folks in that town claimed the statuary "promoted gun violence"! SO the artist was made to change her statue so the boy figure is now depicted hold a hose...
It's getting out of hand!!!!!
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