posted on March 7, 2005 12:32:22 PM new
SCHAUMBURG, Ill. -- The mother of a 6-year-old boy who attended Schaumburg Christian School said school officials suspended him from first grade Wednesday because she refused to spank him for disciplinary reasons.
Michelle Fallaw-Gabrielson said she was called to the school because her son, Chandler, was talking too much in class, chewing gum and bringing toys to school, Anna Davlantes reported.
"The administrator ... called me outside her office and said that it needed to be handled. I said, 'OK, when I take him home, I'll use my form of discipline,' and she said, 'No, either you go inside my office and spank him, or I am suspending him from school for a day,'" Fallaw-Gabrielson said.
"At that point, my eyes filled with tears and I said, 'I guess he's just suspended for the day,'" she said.
Fallaw-Gabrielson said she withdrew Chandler from the school the next day, Davlantes reported.
School officials defended the decision because parent-administered corporal punishment is clearly outlined in the school guidelines, something that parents must sign off on.
"I bring it to their attention because I want them to know about this before I enroll their child. I tell them that if their child ever gets in this position that they have an option. They do not have to spank -- it's their choice," school administrator Randy Thaxton said.
Fallaw-Gabrielson said she did not sign the agreement because she does not believe in spanking. She said she will home school Chandler for the rest of the school year and enroll him in an Aurora school after the summer.
"I put my son there for academic reasons, for moral structure. I didn't put my son there to be told I had to enforce corporal punishment on him," Fallaw-Gabrielson said.
The school's policy is highly unusual, but experts say it's legal, Davlantes said. Illinois state law bans corporal punishment in public schools, but the law doesn't apply to private schools.
Absolute faith has been shown, consistently, to breed intolerance. And intolerance, history teaches us, again and again, begets violence.
---------------------------------- Bush will fix Social Security just like he has fixed Osama Bin Laden and Iraq. Bush can't be trusted to run this country and you want to trust him with your retirement?
posted on March 7, 2005 12:38:07 PM new
I think ALL parents of children the schools have behavior with should be assigned watching Super Nanny TV show for a period of time.
posted on March 7, 2005 12:53:43 PM new
""""I think ALL parents of children the schools have behavior with should be assigned watching Super Nanny TV show for a period of time."""
From America "TV Brain".
Can't think for themselves so have to watch TV to get the answers.
posted on March 7, 2005 01:33:35 PM new
With full knowledge that it's illegal to beat a child, this lousy administrator covered her ass by assigning that dirty deed to the parent.
People who advocate corporal punishment as disipline and teach children such lessons are unworthy to be around children much less call themselves teachers.The ignorant dummy who suggested this unprofessional act should be removed from the school.
posted on March 7, 2005 01:41:44 PM new
I think MOST reasonable people understand the difference between a spanking and a 'beating'. They weren't calling for her to BEAT her child.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Four More Years....YES!!!
posted on March 7, 2005 02:09:45 PM new
It seems to me, that upon reading the form she was asked to sign when she enrolled the child, she might have had a clue that this school not only condones corporal punishment, but would eventually encourage her to use it. Since she is opposed to it, I'm wondering why in the world she would go through with enrolling her kid at all?
At least she's got sense enough to keep him out of there now. I'm sure they're just loving all the publicity this is bringing them.
____________________________________________
Dick Cheney: "I have not suggested there's a connection between Iraq and 9/11..."
posted on March 7, 2005 02:12:49 PM new
Spanking is intended to hurt. Any adult should be able to manage little children without hurting them. Exceedingly intelligent beings like you should know about positive motivation, fuzzy wuzzy.
posted on March 7, 2005 02:32:05 PM new
I agree profe, but am not clear as to why they didn't refuse to take her child since she wouldn't agree to their rules.
But it was mentioned that she felt he would get a better education [plus+++] and now because this has become an issue...he will not benefit from their 'higher than normal' better education. She's putting him back in public school....where it's very possible HE will be the one suffering the long term consequences of HER decision.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Four More Years....YES!!!
posted on March 7, 2005 03:03:13 PM new
It's stuff like this that gives Christianity a bad name. Why do Christians support this junk in the first place? How many of you learned some real big lesson by getting spanked? How stupid. As a society, we're suppose to be moving ahead, not turning into non-thinking retards.
posted on March 7, 2005 04:18:42 PM new
If the parent wanted to spank the child, it could have bene done at home. I have never heard of a school telling parents how to discipline a child, yet alone a Christian school.
Absolute faith has been shown, consistently, to breed intolerance. And intolerance, history teaches us, again and again, begets violence.
---------------------------------- Bush will fix Social Security just like he has fixed Osama Bin Laden and Iraq. Bush can't be trusted to run this country and you want to trust him with your retirement?
posted on March 7, 2005 04:45:54 PM new
She should find a different school for her child or school him at home. Those sounds like dumb reasons to spank a kid for. Kids do those things in school everyday.
**********************************
Two men sit behind bars,one sees mud the other sees stars.
posted on March 7, 2005 04:46:06 PM new
The mother was deluded if she thought that the child could get a better education at this school. The fact that she was asked to accept an agreement to spank her child should have sent up a red flag.
It's unfortunate that harsh, hard nosed discipline has become a gage of quality education for some parents. Nothing could be further from the truth.
posted on March 7, 2005 05:30:30 PM new
Also, I have a hard time believing they tell every parent up front about their punishment rules. Seriously, what parent would go for that? I don't believe it.
posted on March 7, 2005 07:17:33 PM new
Wow! Kids have been getting spanked for thousands of years, and suddenly YOUR theoretical method of parenting is better.
Are kids today raised without spanking better behaved than kids twenty years ago? Not that I can tell. If anything, it's just the opposite!
Have you ever tried to NEGOTIATE with a four year old? Sometimes a quick spank will send the message very quickly. And there's a big difference between a quick swat on the behind a "beating".
This news article is silly. She signed her kid up for a school and didn't read the contract. When she found a policy she didn't like, she withdrew her child. So what? She never did spank the child, so how was she "forced" to do it?
-----------------------------------
How many kids have you raised helen?
-----------------------------------
"but then some approve child torture."
Really? Who is that?
--------------------------------------
Replay Media - The best source for board games, card games and miniatures on the web! http://www.replaymedia.com
posted on March 7, 2005 07:50:19 PM new
To anyone who cares to answer:
Were you spanked as a child? If yes, do you feel it did some harm (other than the physical pain)?
I was spanked a few times as a very young child. I don't see anything wrong with that. I Probably got my last swat around the age of 6. At that point my mother started "talking to me". Oh how I hated that. I used to ask for a spanking. As in "I won't do it again Mom, can't you just spank me?" Of course, that never worked - she had to go into great detail about what I had done wrong, why it was wrong and why I was never to do it again.
posted on March 7, 2005 08:09:09 PM new
.. I have a hard time believing they tell every parent up front about their punishment rules. Seriously, what parent would go for that? I don't believe it...
kraft, have you never heard the term: "spare the rod & spoil the child?"
Lots and Lots of people still strongly believe that.
Kids who get spanked are more humiliated than actually hurt, anyway. That's why they cry, not because they are really hurting. And remember we are talking about spanking on the butt, nothing further.
posted on March 7, 2005 08:16:00 PM new
My only spanking came when I was nine. My cousin and I were caught playing with matches inside the barn. The barn contained a ton or more of hay, and barrels of various flammable solvents and fuels. I had it coming. I would spank my own kid if he were that dumb.
I've raised two very headstrong girls, and am now raising a son who is his sisters' equal. All of them have pushed the envelope as a matter of course. I've never laid a hand on any of them, and neither have their mothers. They are my pride and joy, my life's purpose. They're successful, and they're happy. Drug and booze free, straight A students all.
I'm not going to be so high and mighty as to say I would not have spanked any of them under any circumstance, but I've always felt there are better ways.
It's funny, but I've several times heard friends say stuff like "sometimes the only thing that'll work is a swat to the backside", as if it's some sort of last resort. In reality, these people tend to spank first rather than last, and their kids have little respect for them, and even less for their punishment.
____________________________________________
Dick Cheney: "I have not suggested there's a connection between Iraq and 9/11..."
posted on March 7, 2005 08:26:21 PM new
I agree Helen - what a wonderful compliment Libra!
Double, sure I've heard the phrase, but always thought spare the rod meant NOT to hit your children. (??) Again, I think a person is out of control if they feel the need to hit a child. It's like hitting an animal. It's not healthy, imo.
posted on March 7, 2005 09:18:01 PM new
kraft, there was a time I thought it meant that, too. But its actually a biblical verse meaning if you do spare the rod, you WILL spoil the child. IOW, they wont learn what's right. Respect the parents, etc.
I dont think some kids are too good at reasoning. They just dont want to, and they're not going to. When they hear, "I'm going to get the belt" - they know to stop it. If they think they can push it and its not gonna happen, and dont stop, they will get hit. I think most parents issue some kind of warning or ultimatums before they get to that. Some may be just too frayed and stressed to deal with it and go right for the spanking.
They did show on Oprah one day with this really bratty obnoxious kid - some new nanny with a show was teaching the parents her techniques - and the kid seemed to respond positively to it. But I had to wonder how much of that was because of this nanny person was in the house, and the cameras? -Thats not the normal scenario and the kid knows it.
posted on March 7, 2005 09:33:56 PM new
Cherished.... I was "spanked" when young. Around 8 "spanking" involved a belt and some lovely welts and scars I still carry, broken nose, the stiches in my head...
Did it do any good? Oh yes. I owe the wonderful trusting, non combative, temper controling, child rearing person that I am today that....
Oh wait...not that trustng, serious temper control issues and not a kid to be found...
That is the lasting effect.
How are you supposed to learn to trust anyone when those that already proclaim life alterting love for you are inflicting pain.
~~~ • ~~~ • ~~~ • ~~~ • ~~~
If it's really "common" sense, why do so few people actually have it?
[ edited by fenix03 on Mar 7, 2005 09:39 PM ]
posted on March 7, 2005 09:39:38 PM new
I'm a shy lurker, but feel strongly enough to take the plunge. Children learn by example not by the "do as I say not as I do" school of discipline. If your child hit his brother or his dog or a friend--how do you teach him not to hit? By hitting him??? Regarding the comment that a child cries when spanked because he/she is humiliated, not from the pain. Why on earth would you want to humiliate your precious child? Discipline is to teach your child right from wrong, not to humiliate or cause pain.
posted on March 7, 2005 10:29:26 PM new
Lets think this another way. If your child bit you what would you do?
Logansdad just how many Christian Schools did you go to?
The child is more protected than adult.
You raise one finger to them and they can call social services to come and get you. Now is that right? I feel you have a right to discipline your child the way you fell he will not do something again.
Here is an example of discipline. Your child runs into the street. When you yell at him and he comes back. You tell him next time you might be hit by a car. What do you say no no shouldn't do that. Or do you spank him? What happens if you do nothing and he runs into the street and gets hit by a car. To late then. The punishment has to fit the crime.
_________________
This topic is 6 pages long: 1new2new3new4new5new6new
