posted on July 6, 2005 09:57:15 AM new
I need advice from all of you. One of our daughters is getting divorced. We have some gorgeous wedding pictures from 12 years ago in frames here and there.
For you who've been in the same boat as we are now, what do you do with the pictures? I'm assuming we shouldn't leave them out and about, but do you just store them somewhere as a historical memento?
posted on July 6, 2005 10:18:24 AM new
If there is any chance of reconciliation then you may want to store them, otherwise I would just save the frames and round file the pictures.
posted on July 6, 2005 10:35:45 AM new
I see no reason to throw the pictures, it was a big event in your, and your family's, life. Maybe not display them prominently but certainly keep them unless her ex was a real jerk and you don't like him.
posted on July 6, 2005 12:03:35 PM new
Roadsmith, I'm so sorry to hear that. It must be difficult for everyone.
I'd just store the wedding pictures but if you really enjoy them, keep one out that you like. It's was still a big part of your family and shouldn't be forgotten, imho.
posted on July 6, 2005 01:08:09 PM new
Thanks, everybody. The divorce, I think, was inevitable. They've simply grown in different directions, and unfortunately the husband is unwilling to stick with counseling. He's sort of stuck in his old groove and can't seem to grow mentally or emotionally since the wedding; rigid, secretive, controlling, and old-man fussy and negative even though he's only in his early 40s, etc. I don't like him much right now, but he'll always be in our lives because he's the father of two of our little grandsons.
I think what I'll do is take the pictures out of the frames and save them. The boys may some day as adults want them.
It was a rather expensive formal wedding, too, and I remember thinking at the time, "Gee, I do hope this marriage lasts. I'd hate to go through this again." And now here we are!
posted on July 6, 2005 05:33:16 PM new
Save the photos for the children. They love both of their parents and have been through more grief than anyone could guess.
I saved mine and gave them to my children. I gave Jazz my engagement ring for her 18th birthday and the wedding band on her wedding day. (Something old she could keep.) I cannot describe how happy she was.
We burned #2's wedding photos......the rest we decided that was too good for him. In the garbage they went, to decompose for an eternity next to used Pampers.
posted on July 7, 2005 08:54:28 AM new
Sorry to hear about that Roadsmith. It sounds like you didn't like him to much but remember your daughter chose him and there were children with that union. People change, so remember the children and the grandchildren and I would make an album for them, put it in a place where if they want to view it they can.
Remember you can pick your friends but not your relatives.
posted on July 7, 2005 10:00:41 AM new
Thanks, Libra. We liked him for the first 4 -6 years. But then he insisted Sara stay home with the boys since one was getting ear infections from daycare. She agreed, of course, that that was the best thing to do. For 4 years she's stayed at home with the boys, and then he started griping at her about how she's spending HIS money!! And she's the most frugal younger woman I know (learned it from me). Careful with her money, etc. It has been a no-win situation for her, and since he refused further counseling, she finally has thrown in the towel.
I've been keeping memory boxes for each of the boys--big world events in newspapers, all sorts of stuff including e-mails the parents sent us from the time they were born, chronicling their progress. Lots of little and bigger items. I think I'll save the wedding pictures in those boxes. I plan to give them the boxes when they're really mature, out of their teens, maybe in their 20s--when they'll truly appreciate the stuff.
posted on July 7, 2005 10:18:43 AM new "I've been keeping memory boxes for each of the boys--big world events in newspapers, all sorts of stuff including e-mails the parents sent us from the time they were born, chronicling their progress. Lots of little and bigger items. I think I'll save the wedding pictures in those boxes. I plan to give them the boxes when they're really mature, out of their teens, maybe in their 20s--when they'll truly appreciate the stuff."
That's a great idea, Roadsmith! We haven't had a divorce but one son in law died recently. After surviving bladder cancer for several years, he had a heart attack. I also have a dilemma of how to handle the many photos that I have displayed of happy times. I think that in a couple of months, I will remove all photographs and use your idea.
posted on July 7, 2005 06:05:57 PM new
I'm glad you like the idea, Helen. I bought some acid-free large rectangular boxes, about 30" long by about 5" high, stuck them under our bed labeled with their names, and just throw things in when I think of it. World Series winners (Angels - their team!), 9/11 tragedy--that sort of thing. Just the front sections of local papers. I know how much we Ebayers like the old stuff, and the boys may someday appreciate reading all that long-ago information.
I haven't told even their parents about it, so if I conk off before the boys are mature (heaven forbid), they'll find them.
posted on July 7, 2005 06:11:33 PM new
Save them digitally and when she cuts another from the herd just photoshop his face in there. It will save you thousands!
posted on July 7, 2005 06:19:14 PM new
LOL, parklane! Good gawd, I surely hope she doesn't leap into another marriage too soon. We've been trying not to worry about her and the boys; the couple will have shared custody, which I've heard is very hard on children (packing up, repacking, forgetting what they have at which place, etc.).
To my knowledge my husband and I didn't give our parents one bit of worry when we married long ago, aside from their thinking we were heathens because we didn't go to church any longer after a few years. We borrowed a little money from my dad to tide us over the first month of marriage, when our paychecks hadn't come in yet, and we borrowed a couple thousand from my dad for our first house. Other than that, we heathens have lived pretty straight lives!
posted on July 7, 2005 07:18:34 PM new
I think that is one problem. Marriage isn't taken seriously anymore.
In our apartment bldg we have a divorced man with two children. He and his ex wife have shared custody and the children are fine. They spend every night with their father until about 7:30 then go to the mothers. He has every other weekend. The one boy is in the same grade as my granddaughter and seems on the outside to be a very nice young man. The other one is a little younger. The parents do talk and seem to get along. The father is a very good person and is a concerned father. You can only hope that this will be the same way as your daughter.
