posted on September 19, 2005 01:28:29 PM new
Dear Abby:
My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the
beginning, and when I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse,
everyone knows he cheats on me. It is so humiliating. Also, since he
lost his job five years ago, he hasn't even looked for a new one. All
he does is buy cigars and cruise around and #*!@ with his pals,
while I have to work to pay the bills. Since our daughter went away to
college, he doesn't even pretend to like me and hints that I am a
lesbian. What should I do?
Signed,
Clueless
Dear Clueless:
Grow up and dump him. For Pete's sake, you don't need him anymore.
You're a United States Senator from New York. Act like it!
posted on September 19, 2005 01:59:54 PM new
A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghanistan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he walked toward the object, only to find a little old Jewish man sitting at a card table with neckties laid out on it. The Arab asked, "My thirst is killing me. Do you have water?" The Jewish man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $150. This one goes very nicely with your robes." The Arab shouted, "Idiot! I do not need an overpriced tie. I need water!" OK," said the old Jew, "it does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie. I will show you that you have not offended me. If you walk over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant. Go! Walk that way! The restaurant has all the water you need!" The Arab staggered away toward the hill and eventually disappeared. Four hours later the Arab came crawling back to where the Jewish man was sitting at his table. The Jew said, "I told you, about two miles over that hill. Could you not find it?” “I found it all right," rasped the Arab. "Your brother won't let me in without a tie.”
