posted on November 2, 2005 09:33:45 AM
I think this is awfully clever:
Congress today announced that the office of President of the United States
of America will be outsourced to overseas interests as of October 31st.
2005. The move is being made to save not only a significant portion of the
President's $400,000.00 yearly salary, but also a record $521 billion in
deficit expenditures and related overhead.
"We believe this is a wise move financially. The cost savings should be
significant," stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-Wash.). Reynolds, with
the aid of the Government Accountability Office, has studied outsourcing of
American jobs extensively.
"We cannot expect to remain competitive on the world stage with the current
level of cash outlay," Reynolds noted.
Mr. Bush was informed by email this morning of his termination. Preparations
for the j ob move have been underway for some time. Gurvinder Singh of Indus
Teleservices, Mumbai, India will be assuming the office of President as of
September 1st. Mr. Singh was born in the United States while his Indian
parents were vacationing at Niagara Falls, thus making him eligible for the
position. He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month but with no health
coverage or other benefits.
It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job
responsibilities without support staff. Due to the time difference between
the US and India, he wil be working primarily at night, when few offices of
the US Government will be open.
"Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the American Express
call center," stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview. "I am excited
about this position. I always hoped I would be President someday."
A Congressional Spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be fully
aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this should not
be a problem. Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him
to respond effectively to most topics of concern. Using this tree, he can
address common concerns without having to understand the underlying issues
at all.
"We know these scripting tools work," stated the Spokesperson. "Mr. Bush
has used them successfully for years."
Mr. Bush will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his final
day of employment. Following a two week waiting period, he will be eligible
for $240 dollars a week unemployment for 13 weeks. Unfortunately he will
not be eligible for Medicaid as his unemployment benefits will exceed the
allowed limit.
Mr. Bush has been provided the outplacement services of Manpower, Inc. to
help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition.
According to Manpower, Mr. Bush may have difficulties in se curing a new
position due to limited practical work experience. One possibility is
re-enlistment in the Air National Guard. Should he choose this option, he
would likely be stationed in Iraq, a country he has visited.
"I've been there, I know all about Iraq," stated Mr. Bush, who gained
invaluable knowledge of the country in a visit to the Baghdad Airport's
terminal and gift shop.
Sources in Baghdad and Falluja say Mr. Bush would receive a warm reception
from local Iraqis. They have asked to be provided with details of his
arrival so that they might arrange an appropriate welcome.
______________________________
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."
--Martin Luther King, Jr.
posted on November 2, 2005 10:10:33 AM
Good one, Roadsmith!
Those Repugs love outsourcing so much...it's soooo good for the economy, this should really help
posted on November 2, 2005 10:12:40 AM
Imo, this only shows how VERY desperate the democratic party is...they have to leave reality and step into some sort of fantasy land.
Yea....ultra-liberals and American haters would probably LOVE to have a President from India. That's just how far off the wall their thinking/reasoning abilities really are. So sad.
And not the least bit funny, imo. Sorry.
"Whenever the nation is under attack, from within or without, liberals side with the enemy. This is their essence." --Ann Coulter
And why the American Voters chose to RE-elect President Bush to four more years. YES!!!
posted on November 2, 2005 10:18:09 AM
But, but, but, Linda ...so many other jobs have gone to India why not this one ....what's good for the goose and all that????
You can't have it both ways, oh humorless one, outsourcing is a good thing
posted on November 2, 2005 10:25:54 AM
AWWW, I see, you're worried about bushy not having a job! Not to worry ...Daddy will buy him some new toys....like companies to run into the ground just for fun and because he can.
posted on November 2, 2005 12:31:21 PM
There you have it...
...if right-wingers tell jokes at the expense of the left it is all just good, clean fun...
...if left-wingers tell jokes at the expense of the right it is "desperation" (or "whining"...or "melt-down"...or "hysterics"...or whatever the daily right-wing buzzword is at the time).
____________________
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." -- George W. Bush
bunni - I'm not used to seeing you whine. Thought you were supposed to NOT be a democrat...but rather an Independent. Haven't see you mention this when it's in the reverse...does that mean you're really more left leaning than not.
I'm beginning to think so...from what I read you posting.
"Whenever the nation is under attack, from within or without, liberals side with the enemy. This is their essence." --Ann Coulter
And why the American Voters chose to RE-elect President Bush to four more years. YES!!!
posted on November 2, 2005 01:01:28 PM
Merely observing what I see on this message board, Linda. The more vocal right-wingers are constantly posting "jokes" that target liberals or the Democratic party. If the liberals on this board say anything about it they are then told to lighten up, take a joke, not get hysterical, etc. etc. etc. And then the thread will be filled with right-wingers patting each other on the back.
This is not to say that the left-wingers on the board don't also post jokes at right-wing expense, but from observation I note that it occurs far, far less from that quarter.
Now here is a thread that jokes at the expense of the right...and immediately a right-winger (you) comes into it claiming that the joke shows that the entire Democratic Party is "desperate" and that it shows that "America haters" want an Indian president... Just proves my point.
What I find truly amusing, though, is your response to my comment. Just as Bush & Co. go into attack mode when someone dares to disagree with them, you (in true Bushian style) now state that I am a left-winger because I can see the problem with your reaction.
____________________
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." -- George W. Bush
posted on November 2, 2005 03:13:52 PM
Hey bear....maybe you're on to something there.
After all...it was her husbands administration that signed NAFTA and the China trade agreement .... that started the outsourcing to begin with.... and since the dems/liberals here want to blame this President for the consequences of clintons' actions.....hmmmmmm. Maybe I'll need to rethink this.
"Whenever the nation is under attack, from within or without, liberals side with the enemy. This is their essence." --Ann Coulter
And why the American Voters chose to RE-elect President Bush to four more years. YES!!!
posted on November 3, 2005 01:37:21 PM
Satire is the only thing they know how to do. I wonder what foolish, satiricle candidate they will come up with for the 2008 election. The last one was real hoot!!!
