posted on September 7, 2000 09:55:13 AM
Parents will enjoy this one. Not surprisingly, my mother sent this to me.
MOMS ARE SMARTER...
My son came home from school one day,
with a silly grin on his face,
He thought he was smarter than me, his Mom,
and could put me in my place.
HE SAID:
Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that's taught by Mr. Wright,
It's about the laws of the land today,
its called THE CHILDREN'S BILL OF RIGHTS.
IT SAID:
I don't have to clean my room,
I don't have to cut my hair.
Nobody can tell me what to eat,
My freedom of speech is guaranteed.
Its my choice of what I read, or watch on TV
I have freedom of religion,
and regardless of what you say,
I don't have to ask your God for help ---
I DON'T HAVE TO PRAY.
I can wear an earring in my ear,
And, if I want, can pierce my nose.
It's my choice if I so desire,
to tattoo Satan's numbers across my toes.
AND if you try to spank me,
I will charge you with the crime,
and I can back up all my charges,
with marks on my behind.
HE SAID:
Don't ever touch me,
this body is only for my use,
not for your hugs and kisses and stuff,
that's just another form of child abuse.
HE CONTINUED WITH:
Don't fill my head with morals,
like your mama did to you,
That's what's called mind control,
And it's illegal too!
Mom, I have these children's rights,
you can't do a thing to me,
I can call Children's Services,
better known as CSD.
MY TURN!!!!
My very first impression was,
to toss this boy out the door,
But here was a chance to teach him a lesson,
for once and ever more
I took my time and mulled it over,
I couldn't let this go.
This kid of mine didn't realize,
that he was messing with a pro!
AND AWAY WE GO.............
The next day we went shopping,
and in spite of every plea,
I didn't buy him 501s
or shirts designed by Nike.
I had called and talked to C. S. D.,
they said they didn't care,
if I bought him K-Mart shoes,
or a pair of Nike Airs.
AND THEN:
I canceled his appointment
to test his driving skills,
I'd probably be dead by now,
if only looks could kill!
I SAID:
There's no time to stop and eat,
or pick up stuff to munch,
I think you should follow C. S. D.'s advice,
And make yourself a sack lunch.
So, what if you are too hungry,
to wait 'til dinner time?
Well, we're having liver and onions,
Cause it's a favorite dish of mine.
He ASKED:
Can we stop to get a movie,
so I can watch it on the VCR?
Absolutely not! I sold the TV in your room
and bought new tires for my car.
I also rented out your room,
you really don't need a bed.
C.S.D. says all that's required of me
is to put a roof over your head.
I only have to buy your clothes,
and the food that you must eat,
The money you used to get for an allowance,
will buy me something neat.
No more eating after we shop,
no more joking along the way,
I too have a BILL OF RIGHTS,
that goes into effect today!
What's the matter, are you crying?
Are you down on your knees?
Why are you asking God for help?.........
WHY NOT CALL THE C.S.D.?
(Author Unknown)
The moral of the story is that no one is smarter than mom.
posted on September 10, 2000 10:28:25 AM
Aschmits - I LOVE it!!!! The kids around here, especially the very defiant one's, are always threatening their parents with that "phone call". My kids, 9 & 10, have not learned about "the system" yet, and the "you can'ts and I don't have to's".
My brother in law got a visit from DYFS a few years ago, said they got a call that he BEAT his son (not true, though the boy did get his mouth smacked for being a wise guy, mind you). I love how he handled it, though I don't know if if I could ever have that much gall....He didn't say a word, went to his son's room and packed his clothes, walked his son to the worker and handed over the suitcase and said, "Here, you take him. If you think you can come here and tell me that I can't dicipline my kids when they are bad, or running their mouths, then YOU TAKE HIM." With that, the worker stammered, "Mr. Jones!! YOU CAN'T DO THIS! I can't take your son with ME!" With that, my brother in law said, "And you can't come here and tell me that I can't dicipline my son, now get the hell out of my house." The worker left, quite shaken, and there were no more mysterious calls made to DYFS. I want to add that his son, at the time, was 15 and knew better, not 5 and still learning.
