posted on January 28, 2008 05:50:34 PM new
If Bush…
…mentions the war on terror and/or Islamofascism,
take a shot of an American-made liquor to help tamp down the terror. Pass out into a fever dream of vaguely ethnic, hooded figures loitering suspiciously around our nation’s precious mall parking lots.
…connects any of his policies to 9/11,
take and shot and dig out your copy of Alanis Morissette’s Jagged Little Pill. Blast it at a high volume to remind yourself that things that are worn out and no longer culturally relevant can have occasional potency.
…talks about the sanctity of marriage,
barricade your door to protect you and your family from the rampaging hordes of gays seeking to undermine heterosexual marriage even as we speak. Take a shot.
…pimps his economic stimulus plan, which will net you between $600 and $1,200 by May if you’re a taxpayer,
take a shot, then go online and buy a Wii, but do not address your mounting credit card debt. That would be letting the terrorists win.
…talks about the progress being made in Iraq,
take a shot and go into your roommate’s bedroom, break everything, hammer a single nail into the rubble, and ensure him or her that “progress is being made” toward the reconstruction of the room.
…raises the threat of Iran’s nuclear ambitions,
print out one copy of the December National Intelligence Estimate for each person watching. The first person to rewrite the document in a way that supports what Bush is saying wins the round. Everyone else takes a shot and prepares to get drafted.
…talks of the need to make his early-term tax cuts permanent,
[If you make more than $80,000 a year:]
take a shot and add a new level to your house and/or hire another butler/personal assistant/helper.
[If you make less than $80,000 a year:]
take a shot and keep experimenting with homemade cures for bronchitis. Some combination of off-brand cough syrup, Rice Chex, and discount dog food is sure to do the trick.
…mentions the subprime mortgage crisis,
wonder aloud how you managed to afford a 28,000-square-foot mansion on a fast-food-manager’s salary, then take a shot and switch over to MTV’s Cribs.
…singles out someone out in the audience (i.e. “Bob McBob, a one-handed farmer from Idaho, single-handedly saved the lives of 15,000 orphans when he courageously…”),
pick a player at random and shower them with over-the-top praise for the rest of the evening. Also, take a shot.
…mentions Ronald Reagan,
retrieve the tuft of Reagan’s hair you keep under your mattress and rub it lovingly against your face for at least 15 seconds. Take a shot.
…says something that garners an extended standing applause,
start a slow-clap that gradually builds until the end of the speech. Take a shot.
…kisses a liberal on his way to the podium,
make out with the person on your left. Take a shot.
…kisses a conservative on his way to the podium,
make out with the person on your right. Take a shot.
…kisses a libertarian on his way to the podium,
set up a market-driven system to determine whom you make out with. Take a shot.
…compliments a current presidential candidate,
take a shot, frantically log onto Intrade, and quickly dump all your shares in said candidate.
…mentions his legacy or describes his time in office in broad terms,
take enough shots to pass out until January 20, 2009.
posted on January 28, 2008 06:52:14 PM new
I am now stinking drunk and he is still talking.....Where's the Best Buy site. Gotta buy a Wii. How can I slow clap and order my Wii at the same time? Gotta get a personal assistant to do this stuff for me.
[ edited by coach81938 on Jan 28, 2008 06:54 PM ]
posted on January 28, 2008 07:44:28 PM new
LOL - I haven't been glued to the set because I can't afford a hangover tomorrow. I couldn't resist reading the transcript of the speech. Wish I had done the drinking game - at least I would have had some fun before tossing my cookies.
posted on January 28, 2008 08:08:27 PM new
Was State of the Union TONIGHT!?? OMG I forgot about it and watched Law and Order all night! no wonder my sales were good - a bust tv night! Sounds like the games has it all covered anyway
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posted on January 29, 2008 05:18:46 AM new
It really did occur to me that all those people who managed to stand and applaud a president with a 32% approval rating had taken 'more' than one shot.
Now it's clear! Those poor deluded souls had enjoyed the Pre SOTU drinking game!
posted on January 29, 2008 08:46:40 AM new
I found it interesting that Night Line (I tuned in for a recap because I TOTALLY missed the State of the Union) was much more about Ted Kennedy, Obama and the Clintons than it was about the speech!
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posted on January 29, 2008 02:23:04 PM new
The reason because the President is in his last year and won't be able to get anything through a congress with an approval rating of 37%
posted on January 29, 2008 04:06:22 PM new
Libra, as you can see, your link is dated March, 2005. Bush has been on a steady decline since that date and his approval rating is now 32%.
posted on January 29, 2008 08:18:20 PM new
That was what Charlie Gibson said last night. I just took his word for it. But he (Bush) has really no say anymore because he is in his last year. Why should he propose anything? With the disfunctional congress nothing is going to get done. The US will be in limbo until the next President takes the podium whomever it is.
posted on January 29, 2008 10:39:20 PM new
The report by Charles Gibson on the ABC news site (Jan 28 2008) mentions the low approval ratings of the lame-duck president.
Seventy-seven percent of Americans believe the country is headed off on the wrong track — the most since the government shut down briefly in 1996, according to an ABC News/Washington Post poll released earlier this month.
A majority of Americans, 66 percent, continues to disapprove of the way Bush is handling his job, and 64 percent said the war in Iraq was not worth fighting. By far the most pressing concern on the minds of Americans, however, was the flagging economy.
posted on January 30, 2008 08:36:16 AM newSeventy-seven percent of Americans believe the country is headed off on the wrong track — the most since the government shut down briefly in 1996, according to an ABC News/Washington Post poll released earlier this month.
A majority of Americans, 66 percent, continues to disapprove of the way Bush is handling his job, and 64 percent said the war in Iraq was not worth fighting. By far the most pressing concern on the minds of Americans, however, was the flagging economy.
These are staggering numbers. Things will not get better during the remainder of Bush's term even with the so-called tax rebates. Most people will be using those to pay off debt, not purchase new items.
Libra:BTW Bush's approval rating is 52%
Seems like someone has been living in a cave for the past 2 1/2 years.
That was what Charlie Gibson said last night. I just took his word for it.
This is exactly what happens when you just listen to what is spewed on "news" programs. People have to think for themselves and do their own research.
"In my experience, those who do not like you fall into two categories: the stupid, and the envious. - John Wilmot, the Second Earl of Rochester
[ edited by logansdad on Jan 30, 2008 08:38 AM ]
posted on January 31, 2008 09:31:35 AM new
Our son sent us that drinking game, asking what our liquor of choice would be that night.
I honestly thought Bush would get through the entire speech without "nukular," but noooooooo. We have to assume that either the people around him don't know he's saying it wrong (scary thought), or they've told him and he can't learn it (even scarier thought). What a guy.
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