posted on March 12, 2008 08:52:13 PM new
Profe - you were very helpful in your suggestions for getting my son evaluated for ADHD. We've completed the evaluation, which only consisted of his teacher's and my evaluations, and the result is that medication is mildly indicated. Tough case to fight with a father strongly and superstitiously opposed to ADHD medication. When my son was a baby, I worried about autism because he failed to make eye contact and had him evaluated which was inconclusive. My sister, Neglus, suggested Aspergers Syndrome when I told her that my son seems totally unaware and surprised that he is behind in homework assignments. We have solved the problem with close synchronization with teachers/parents but the doctor and I feel AS is a real possibility. I've been given a whole new slew of questions for David's teachers and a referral to a sub-specialist.
Question: Have you evaluated or had an A/S student. What can a teacher do to accommodate the student?
posted on March 13, 2008 05:58:29 AM new
The best thing anyone can do for a kid with Asperger's is to make sure you don't treat it as a handicap. Some of technology's best and brightest have it. I've even read that it's been speculated that Bill Gates has Asperger's. Basically it's a form of high functioning autism as I understand it. As with any kid, you are going to encourage his strengths and support his shortcomings, while not making excuses for him. Often, AS kids will have a fairly narrowly focused area of things they are interested in and they will often times be very good at certain skills, such as math or music or computer science. I think for the long term it's very important to encourage those interests, so that the child will have success in later life.
Over the years I've discovered that routine is the most important aspect of creating an environment in which autistic kids can function. Noise, distractions and unstructured classrooms are the worst. Spontaneity is poison to lots of autistic kids, they can't handle it.
It'll be interesting to see what your latest round of tests turns up.
posted on March 13, 2008 07:19:03 PM new
Profe - you have good points. If he does have A/S, I'm worried about the effect on his self-esteem as he becomes a teen-ager. His 3rd grade teacher told us he communicates on a different level than his peers and cannot connect with them. Two years ago, I glossed over while he discussed the chemistry of rocket fuel with a Science museum scientist - frustrated because he was never able to memorize the multiplication tables, even when I sang it to him every time we were in the car. OTOH, he does seem to have improved socially this year, identifying with a group (although he doesn't do things with them after school) and speaking for long periods on the phone with a friend of the female persuasion. Edited to add, sadly, we have exploited the science museum to the max. Once a weekly foray to expand our horizons, now, even changing exhibits don't hold our interests and don't justify the entrance fee.
[ edited by pixiamom on Mar 13, 2008 07:31 PM ]
posted on March 13, 2008 08:38:27 PM new
As far as socialization is concerned, he needs to find himself a group of friends who will accept his uniqueness for what it is, rather than trying to fit into one of the usual teen groups. Solitude may well be in his future as far as being socially "acceptable" goes. He'll never be as cool as he wants to be. He needs to be reassured of his unique abilities, and those need to be fostered. It's likely that he'll never be "normal" as far as teenage peer groups are concerned, and he needs to know that's OK, so that he doesn't adopt an outlaw or outcast mentality. My son knows a kid with Asperger's who is constantly trying to be cool and accepted, and it's sad to see. The poor guy is continually put down by others at school. You can't change the others, so your boy needs to know that his individuality is the most important thing.
posted on March 14, 2008 06:44:55 AM new
I remember in high school a boy who may have had Asperger's although at that time he was not labeled with the syndrome. Maybe I remember him because he was tall, good looking and very intelligent. In the classroom he avoided conversation or the usual before and after class social scene and seemed to prefer to be alone. His only peculiar behavior was the fact that he would occassionally chuckle to himself. Regardless of this and his preference to be alone he was respected and treated well by the other students.
As you probably know, not all teachers are created equal so be sure that he always has a teacher as tolerant and knowledgeable as Profe.
Focus on his interests and try not to stigmatize him with the name of a "syndrome".
posted on March 15, 2008 08:42:10 AM new
Our daughter and son-in-law, who work in the computer industry in Silicon Valley, swear there are many Asperger's people, mostly men, working very efficiently and brilliantly in that industry.
I too have heard that Bill Gates may have a form of it. We have friends in Seattle who, years ago, used to go to dinner at Bill's parents' home. They ask, "Where's Billy?" and the parents would roll their eyes and say he's in the basement working on one of his contraptions.
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posted on March 15, 2008 12:54:56 PM new
There's a character on "Boston Legal" that has Asperger's....he purrs and stamps his feet when upset, keeps his hands on his thighs(as opposed to all the other lawyers who usually have their hands on someone else's thighs).......he's involved with a woman who falls in love with objects...like cell phones....she was two-timing him with an electrical box...oh...anyway...are these symptoms real?
posted on March 16, 2008 07:58:17 AM new
If your son is diagnosed with the syndrome, I have a question. If the problem is likely to be aggravated at school why not home school your son. You are certainly qualified and in a position to give your son the loving, considerate and undivided attention that he will need. Finding such help in a school system may be a constant and difficult job.
BTW...Doris Lessing wrote a good novel that some people have interpreted as being about a boy with Asperger's syndrome. Actually it could be about any child with a problem that is difficult to handle. Although it's exaggerated, it gives some insight into how problems such as this one can cause dysfunction within the family and how that in turn can affect the child. Actually there are two books, about the child, Ben. The first one is "The Fifth Child".
Hopefully he doesn't have the syndrome or if he does a mild case.
posted on March 16, 2008 09:21:56 PM new
Helen has a good point. The only drawback is the socialization that comes with the school setting. There are ways to replace that more positively however. It would take some extra planning and time but could certainly be done.
posted on March 16, 2008 10:35:14 PM new
Profe: Have you ever mentioned approx. where your ranch is? I have a friend whose family lived in Taos for several years and love New Mexico. My impression is that you're in NM but I could be wrong. . . .
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posted on March 17, 2008 08:16:30 AM new
sorry, long post!
profe said:
As far as socialization is concerned, he needs to find himself a group of friends who will accept his uniqueness for what it is, rather than trying to fit into one of the usual teen groups.
My 15 yo son has a GREAT group of friends ~ dh always comments how they feel 'comfortable in their own skin' and wishes he could have been like that in high school!
Have you tried any school teams for socialization?
Before you jump at that, let me explain!
There are team sports that can help, and you dont have to be a strong athlete!
Perfect example is cross country, where focus is not so much on the contribution to the TEAM. Most Cross Coutry teams have a 'no cut' policy, everyone makes the team (I'll explain that later).
The Cross Country team at both of my boys schools are awesome for this ~ the kids all work out together (male & female) but they are all there for different reasons.
All shapes, sizes, colors, 'social groups', social status, etc.
Some run to lose weight, some to get into shape, some are training for other sports, and some just like to run!
They form strong bonds and respect each other, regardless of the individual reasons that brought each of them to cross country.
My sons likes to run but I think the strongest reason he is there is To Prove It To Himself that he can!
He is one of the more competitive on the team (only the first eight runners 'count' towards a scool at meets, they no cut policy let's them all run). My son has really come to enjoy the sport!
Two of his closest teammates (one is a Sr, going into the Marines after graduation and needed to bring down his time. Other is a junior ~ has no clue what he is doing, just wants to run and beat the guy in front of him!). Regardless of talent level, the 'team leaders' do a great job of encouraging EVERYONE to push themselves and finish.
This group accepted my son as a freshman ~ he's a glasses wearing skinny gifted kid with hippie hair.
Many of these kids also run track to stay in shape/condition.
Cross country season typically starts a few weeks before the new school year, enabling kids to get a jump on their training before ALL the kids are there.
From what I have seen in two seasons, I truly believe it can do GREAT things for some of these boys self-esteem and social bonding!
(sorry if long and/or disjointed ~ waaaay too much coffee today!)
posted on March 17, 2008 08:56:12 AM new
Thanks all. Helen, home schooling is not an option (I don't think I'd be very good at it anyway).
Zoomin, my son was in a basketball league when he was younger. The sports he enjoys most are surfing, in-line skating, skateboarding. He just took up skiing. He'd like to try hockey but we don't have any teams this side of town.
I'm not sure he has Aspergers. He does socialize but finds it impossible to pay attention or pretend to care about anything that he isn't fascinated by. He certainly doesn't exhibit any of the peculiar traits Mingo mentioned. He has a few quirks: he carries around ear plugs which he infrequently uses - loud, noisy rooms frustrate him. And he's a hummer - drives me nuts at times.
Any way, I'll know more after the teachers' evaluations are completed and we see the specialist. I'm hoping the teachers will see that we are trying to address the problem and will be a bit easier on grading him this term.
posted on March 17, 2008 09:19:06 AM new
He sounds athletic in 'individual' sports, getting him on a team is what I was looking for ~
If he is running a 5K (crosscountry) he has to finish ~ the follow through helps. He can hum all he wants while he runs ~ no one will be that close to him! My son sings to himself throughout the course to stay focused.
It's great exercise (heart smart) and he will always be able to use it as he matures ~ I wish I had done it when I was younger ~ I'd love to be able to 'go for a run' and clear my head!
Hopefully his teachers will be able to work with you when you get an action plan! If I remember correctly, he is in his last year of Middle School???
does he go to a new school next year?
posted on March 17, 2008 01:02:37 PM new
Pixiamom, it's very unlikely, based on your description of your son, that he has Asperger's Syndrome, especially since he was able to participate in a competitive team sport such as the basketball league without a problem. And, most children with Asperger's have poor motor coordination and would not be able to participate very successfully in the sports that you have mentioned.
posted on March 17, 2008 01:42:44 PM new
Frankly, like Helen, I'd be surprised also to see a diagnosis of Asperger's based on your description. It should go without saying though that any advice you've received here about your kid is probably good advice for any kid.
I see more and more unmotivated kids every year. They're "bored", they expect to be entertained, they have the attention span of gnats unless they're texting or on MySpace. I think this is largely due to our overstimulated culture. Everything is done in tiny sound bites and rapid fire. No wonder they can't concentrate. I'll admit too that I see more and more parents who are looking for a "diagnosis" for a kid who has problems that these days just aren't that unusual, and more and more teachers who are ready to jump the gun and call a kid ADD or ADHD when he's clearly not.
In the classroom he avoided conversation or the usual before and after class social scene and seemed to prefer to be alone. His only peculiar behavior was the fact that he would occassionally chuckle to himself. Regardless of this and his preference to be alone he was respected and treated well by the other students.