posted on February 16, 2001 07:01:02 PM
Carl Hiaasen the Miami Harold columnist speaking about local elections had this list -Nine ways to tell if you've lost control of an election:
You've lost control when precinct workers start fastening ballot cards to the
spokes of their bicycles so it makes a real loud noise when they pedal fast.
If Donkey Kong suddenly shows up on the screen of your elections computer.
If election headquarters is suddenly surrounded by right-wing guerrillas, whose
commander announces that he will personally ``supervise'' the vote-counting.
4 If your precinct captains are caught using knitting needles to punch Happy
Faces on the ballot cards.
When it's discovered that all absentee ballots have been mistakenly forwarded
to the Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.
If the top vote-getter in the mayor's race is the new music video by David Lee
Roth.
If, at midnight, you find all your precinct workers huddled fervently around a
Ouija board and an abacus.
If the voter-registration rolls show more than 4,000 people with the name
Bhagwan Rajneesh, all registered Republican and all living in Coconut Grove.
You've really lost control if the first TV crew to arrive after the polls close
consists of Dick Clark, Ed McMahon and a camera hidden in an ice-cream truck.
Sounds like the Presidential election was pretty normal -- for Florida.
