zkatt
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posted on February 23, 2001 06:41:21 AM
I'm wondering if I have a screw loose....I get mad at someone but I can't seem to stay mad(even when they screw me over bigtime).
I'm just wondering if people or generally happy or pissed off in everyday life.
I suppose I'm a happy person-although I never forget!
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zilvy
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posted on February 23, 2001 06:57:06 AM
Zkat I'm a happy person-although I never forget
That reminds me:
Q. What do you get when you cross
an Elephant with a peanut?
A. An Elephant that sticks to the
roof of your mouth...or...
a Peanut that never forgets!!
I never forget either...but I don't
stay mad..just cautious.
[ edited by zilvy on Feb 23, 2001 06:58 AM ]
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lswanson
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posted on February 23, 2001 07:25:28 AM
Zkatt, I tend to want to forget, forgive, and get on with life.
I don't think it has to do with whether a person is happy or not, but more with underlying motivations. I think much of it has to do with the personality of the individual.
From personal observation, a lot of the "forgiving" type are actually individuals whose self-indentity includes not ticking other people off, and wanting to be liked by everyone, regardless of how badly they've treated us. I fall squarely into this camp, but as I age, I'm learning that it's okay NOT to please everyone all of the time, and that it's an impossible task in the first place.
I've known a lot of individuals who come from the other side of the coin, who don't let their guard down once they've been burned by someone. They simply go on with their lives, having made their personal environment a little more secure. The old adage, "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me" applies here. These types seem to be just as happy as I do.
Folks like you and me, who want to get past difficulties, have the ability to obssess about failed relationships, tend to put their own feelings second to those of others even when they feel strongly about something. While we may be more openly caring about relationships, we also make ourselves more vulnerable to getting run over in them.
Just my 2 cents.
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femme
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posted on February 23, 2001 07:26:10 AM
Some days, happy. 
Some days, ticked. 
Some days, both.
-----
If someone "screws you over big time", why would you still want them in your life?
How could you trust that they won't do it again?
Personally, I've purged those people from my life, preferring to surround myself with those who have earned my trust.
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zkatt
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posted on February 23, 2001 07:50:04 AM
Femme.......Its difficult to purge this person from my life considering its my father(believe me I've tried many times).
lswanson....I agree its best to forgive and move on. As I learned life is to short to stay pissed all the time.....but when someone just keep sticking it to you that's very hard to do. I WANT to be mad at him---hes done some pretty rotten things but I can't seem to. Oh well...life is MUCH better when your happy
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krs
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posted on February 23, 2001 08:10:28 AM
Happiness is a myth that fools hope to achieve. Unless you drool from both corners of your mouth you'll never be satisfied that you're happy, so forget about it. Just make the best of your miserable life and then die so someone else can be miserable.
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zkatt
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posted on February 23, 2001 08:14:10 AM
KRS.....You sound like a pissed person.
I know I would not want to go thru life that way.....geez.
Thanks for the wake-up call.
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zilvy
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posted on February 23, 2001 08:18:25 AM
Zkatt Please remember Happiness
is a state of mind & those that drool out
of both sides of their mouths don't have
a mind!
KRS isn't pissed he is KRS...if
he were happy he would be unhappy...
too bad you can (as we know, get over
being pissed)
[ edited by zilvy on Feb 23, 2001 08:19 AM ]
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krs
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posted on February 23, 2001 08:18:29 AM
I'm not pissed. You are. Get it out.
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jamesoblivion
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posted on February 23, 2001 08:20:37 AM
I agree. With zkatt, that is.
[ edited by jamesoblivion on Feb 23, 2001 08:23 AM ]
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krs
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posted on February 23, 2001 08:37:08 AM
Everybody's a psychoanalyst; too many spoil the soup.
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therpowen
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posted on February 23, 2001 08:44:41 AM
krs is just being realistic. If you achieve happiness, what is there left to strive for?
therp
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jamesoblivion
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posted on February 23, 2001 08:47:34 AM
I like soup.
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femme
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posted on February 23, 2001 08:51:32 AM
Believe me when I say, I understand,
zkatt.
When it comes to family, it can be very difficult.
But, sometimes, one does what one has to do for their own well-being and sanity.
There comes a time when you have to put yourself first.
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zilvy
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posted on February 23, 2001 09:07:34 AM
Therp if that is "Reality"
let's take up residence in a rubber
room and call it quits! Happiness is
a Myth??? funny I never equated it with
the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus or the
Tooth Fairy!
Once you achieve Happiness....not to be
confused with Idiocy..you get a chance to
share and bring happiness to others.
[ edited by zilvy on Feb 23, 2001 09:09 AM ]
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therpowen
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posted on February 23, 2001 09:20:00 AM
Hi zilvy!
Happiness is a myth because one can never attain all that would make them happy. There is always just a little more that would make life just that small amount better.
There are, however, degrees of happiness and if you can find a place where you are content with your life as it is, you can achieve a state of relative happiness. But life is constant change, and you can never stay in that one place for long.
therp
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mark090
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posted on February 23, 2001 09:27:32 AM
Time for my medication....
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njrazd
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posted on February 23, 2001 09:49:21 AM
People are as happy as they make up their minds to be.
I'm with femme in that I do try and purge toxic people from my life and just move on. There are enough things to deal with that it seems silly to put yourself in situations that only cause more upheaval.
In the case of a parent, just remain civil, respectful, but at a safe distance. Don't allow them to lay the guilt trip on you. Just because they are a blood relative, that does not give them a license to ruin your life.
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zilvy
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posted on February 23, 2001 09:49:27 AM
Zippidy doo daa, zippidy ayyy,
My oh my what a wonderful dayyy...
Better living through Chemistry.
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femme
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posted on February 23, 2001 09:58:41 AM
Happiness is a state of mind. The choice is yours in what state you want your mind.
----
I have a relative whose goal through life has been to improve her lot financially with each marriage. Neither love, whatever that is, nor companionship was ever a priority.
She is currently on #4, and I'm sure is always looking for #5. After all, there must be someone with a million more than the current hubby.
Unfortunately, for her, she no longer has youth or youthful looks on her side. How many older, wealthy men are looking for 60-year-old trophies?
I guarantee you, while financially free, this is not a happy person.
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therpowen
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posted on February 23, 2001 10:25:12 AM
Happiness is a state of mind. The choice is yours in what state you want your mind.
That really is the key. As long as a person feels that there is something missing in their life, they cannot be truly happy. But if a person is content with their life as it is, and is willing to accept their situation, then there is no reason to be unhappy.
Inner peace is the key, and material things have no bearing on happiness, unless that is what you choose.
therp
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RainyBear
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posted on February 23, 2001 10:38:22 AM
I'm 99.9% happy.
I'm also lucky that when I fight with my husband, neither of us stays mad very long. Sometimes we even end up laughing in the middle of a big argument. That's great; it really defuses things.
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njrazd
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posted on February 23, 2001 11:14:53 AM
I have a cross-stitch kit that I'm eventually going to work on  that says something to the affect of...
"Contentment is not getting what you want, but appreciating what you already have."
I can be jealous of what others have, or grateful for what I've been blessed with. I choose to be grateful.
femme...I have a SIL who's on husband #6. She's one of the most miserable people I know. But at least she has finally stopped blaming my MIL for her failed marriages!
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bearmom
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posted on February 23, 2001 11:36:16 AM
I'm lazy. It's too much trouble to keep track of who I'm mad at, and why!
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december3
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posted on February 23, 2001 12:17:37 PM
I may grow old, but i'm never going to grow up. I'm very happy. It doesn't take much to make me happy. I will seriously hurt anyone who tries to spoil my good mood.
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xardon
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posted on February 23, 2001 01:16:41 PM
Happy or Pissed???
Are they the only choices?
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HJW
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posted on February 23, 2001 02:04:38 PM
The happiest people that I know are complete
fools.
Helen
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Muriel
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posted on February 23, 2001 02:06:36 PM
So if someone is pissed all the time, that makes them wise?
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RainyBear
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posted on February 23, 2001 02:07:22 PM
The fools may appear to be happy all the time. We who are truly happy, well, we know how to hide it when appropriate.
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RainyBear
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posted on February 23, 2001 02:09:08 PM
Also -- although we are, to some extent, in control of our own happiness, a lot of it is a result of our brain chemistry and physiology. Some of us are lucky enough to be "wired" for an mostly upbeat outlook.
If you don't believe me, explain PMS.
[ edited by RainyBear on Feb 23, 2001 02:10 PM ]
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