posted on February 23, 2001 09:04:02 AM new
Can some one tell me where I can find the Joke Why are dogs better then Men and Why are dogs better then women?
posted on February 23, 2001 10:59:36 AM new
HOW DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN
1. Dogs do not have trouble expressing affection in public.
2. Dogs miss you when you're gone.
3. You never wonder whether your dog is good enough for you.
4. Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong
5. Dogs don't brag about whom they have slept with.
6. Dogs don't criticize your friends.
7. Dogs admit when they're jealous.
8. Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
9. Dogs do not play games with you - except fetch (and they'll never
laugh at how you throw)
10. Dogs are happy with any video you choose to rent, because they know
the most important thing is that you're together.
11. Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.
12. No dog ever voted to confirm Clarence Thomas.
13. You can train a dog.
14. Dogs are good with kids.
15. Dogs are easy to buy for.
16. Dogs are already in touch with their inner puppies.
17. You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams.
18. Gorgeous dogs don't know they are gorgeous.
19. The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas. (OK. The
*really* worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there's a
vaccine for it, and you get to kill the one that gave it to you.)
20. Dogs understand what "No " means.
21. Dogs don't need therapy to undo their bad socialization.
22, Dogs don't make a practice of killing their own species.
23. Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside.
24. Dogs do not read at the table.
25. Dogs think you are a culinary genius.
26. You can house-train a dog.
27. You can force a dog to take a bath.
28. Dogs don't correct your stories.
29. Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger
owner.
30. Dogs aren't threatened by a woman with short hair.
31. Dogs aren't threatened by two women with short hair.
32. Dogs don't mind if you do all the driving.
33. Dogs don't step on the imaginary brake.
34. Dogs admit it when they are lost.
35. Dogs don't weigh down your purse with their stuff.
36. Dogs look at your eyes.
37. Dogs like your size.
38. Dogs do not care whether you shave your legs.
39. Dogs take care of their own needs.
40. Dogs are color blind.
41. Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
42. Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do.
43. Dogs are nice to your relatives.
44. Dogs obsess about you as much as you obsess about them.
WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN
When a dog licks your ear it has no ulterior motive.
Dogs quite happily sit and watch the football/ cricket/ motor racing without complaining.
Dogs don't want to take you shopping.
Dogs don't say "YOU DID WHATTTT!!!".
They don't expect you to change a tyre for them.
Dogs don't complain when a light bulb blows.
There's a longer time between bouts of PMS with a dog.
Dogs don't mind if you leave the seat up, in fact they prefer it.
Dogs don't mind if they don't get flowers.
Dogs don't get suspicious if they DO get flowers.
Dogs don't invite their mothers over to stay.
Dogs don't like cats.
There is no incorrect wash cycle for a dog's clothes.
Dogs don't make remarks about your mates and their habits.
Dogs bite the Avon lady.
A dog's already have a fur coat and Greenpeace don't mind.
Dogs don't care what you say to other drivers.
Dogs will defend you if you say too much to other drivers.
A dog doesn't care if you talk to your neighbour's
wife/ daughter over the fence.
Dogs love it when your friends come over.
Dogs don't mind when you use their shampoo.
A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.
Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late.
The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.
Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
Dogs are excited by rough play.
Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.
Dogs understand that farts are funny.
Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.
Anyone can get a good-looking dog.
If a dog is gorgeous,other dogs won't hate it.
Dogs don't shop!!
Dog like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.
Dogs never need to examine the relationship.
A dog's parents never visit.
Dogs love long car trips.
Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
Dogs like beer.
Dogs don't cry.
Dogs don't hate their bodies.
Dogs don't shop!!
No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.
Dogs never criticize.
Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
It's legal to keep a dog chained to your house.
Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you've ever had.
Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk, or the back of your sock drawer.
Dogs don't shop!!
Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.
Dogs would rather you buy them a hamburger for dinner than a lobster.
You never have to wait for a dog. They're ready 24 hours a day.
Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.
Dogs find you amusing when your drunk.
Dogs can't talk.
Dogs seldom outlive you.
Dogs don't expect presents on their birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day, etc.
[ edited by LouBega2000 on Feb 23, 2001 02:49 PM ]