posted on February 23, 2001 04:50:00 PM new
A while back there was a thread about things my Mother used to say...I couldn't find it but thought this might bring a chuckle or a tear or an OOOPS I said that!
What My Mother Taught Me
TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE -
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"
RELIGION - "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
TIME TRAVEL: "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock
you into the middle of next week!"
LOGIC: "Because I said so, that's why."
FORESIGHT - "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.
IRONY - "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
The Science of OSMOSIS -
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"
CONTORTIONISM - "Will you just look at the dirt on the bacl of your neck."
STAMINA - "You'll sit here 'till all that spinach is finished."
WEATHER - "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."
PHYSICS PROBLEMS - "If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?"
HYPOCRISY - "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't Exaggerate!!!"
THE CIRCLE OF LIFE - "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION - "Stop acting like your father!"
ENVY - "There are millions of less fortunate children in this
world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"
posted on February 23, 2001 04:59:39 PM new
HAHAHA, my mom used to say that to me...until I taught her a lesson! She would say, "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!" so I would shut my mouth and act like I was trying to shove the fork in my mouth without opening it. Boy, was I a smart a$$.
posted on February 23, 2001 05:36:27 PM new
GOOD EATING HABITS
"You will eat your Mystery Meatloaf, and you will like it!!!"
SCIENCE
"Keep making that face and it'll freeze that way!"
TRAVEL (measured in spankings, not miles - he he)
"Are we there yet???"
"No, you have three more spankings to go."
(This was a family joke, by the way -- well, for the most part!)
GOOD RHYTHM
Whenever my sister and I would be playing outside, inevitably getting into something we weren't supposed to, we'd hear a knock at the window, and there would stand our Mom, with a less-than-thrilled expression on her face, index finger in the air, going back and forth just like a metronome. Tick, tock, tick, tock. (We use this now to totally crack her up!)
GOOD SOCIAL SKILLS
"Don't you look at me in that tone of voice!"
FACIAL EXPRESSIONS
"Don't you roll your eyes at me!"
FINDING LOST THINGS
"It's probably in your room, in that mess under your bed!" (Hey, it wasn't MY fault there was a black hole under my bed that sucked up all loose objects!)
MATHEMATICAL SKILLS
"You've got 5 seconds to get in here. ONE! TWO! THREE! ...."
posted on February 23, 2001 08:44:42 PM new
You are going to fall and break both
your legs, and when you do don't come
running to me!!! Duh???
[ edited by zilvy on Feb 23, 2001 08:45 PM ]
