posted on March 6, 2001 04:26:30 PMMind Games Dogs Play With Humans
After your humans give you a bath, Don't Let them Towel Dry you Instead, run to their bed, jump up and dry yourself off on the sheets. This is especially good if it's right before your humans bedtime.
Act like a convicted criminal. When the humans come home, put your ears back, tail between your legs, chin down and act as if you have done something really bad. Then, watch as the humans frantically search the house for the damage they think you have caused. (Note: This only works when you have done absolutely nothing wrong.)
Let the humans teach you a brand new trick. Learn it perfectly. Then the humans try to demonstrate it to someone else, stare blankly back at the humans. Pretend you have no idea what they're talking about.
Make your humans be patient. When you go outside to go 'pee', sniff around the entire yard as your humans wait. Act as if the spot you choose to go pee will ultimately decide the fate of the earth.
Draw attention to the human. When out for a walk always pick the busiest, most visible spot to go 'poo'. Take your time and make sure everyone watches. This works particularly well if your humans have forgotten to bring a plastic bag.
When out for a walk, alternate between choking and coughing every time a strange human walks by.
Make your own rules. Don't always bring back the stick when playing fetch with the humans. Make them go and chase it once in a while.
Hide from your humans. When your humans come home, don't greet them at the door. Instead, hide from them, and make them think something terrible has happened to you. (Don't reappear until one of your humans is panic-stricken and close to tears).
When your human calls you to come back in, always take your time. Walk as slowly as possible back to the door.
Wake up twenty minutes before the alarm clock is set to go off and make the humans take you out for your morning pee. As soon as you get back inside, fall asleep. (Humans can rarely fall back asleep after going outside, this will drive them nuts!)
posted on March 6, 2001 07:24:57 PM
OH! Muriel! Do you know my dog?? LMAO! Make the humans let me out by staring them down...if that doesn't work...scratch at them insistently with my paw..if that fails start howling, (insert the mournful sound of a bloodhound here). Then make the humans let me back in by trying to tear the screen door off it's hinges. Then make the humans fill my food bowl....then make them let me back out, (cuz all that food made me have to go...again!). Then repeat the above mentioned action so they'll let me back in. Thheeennnn, if I'm still not ready to take a nap...make them fill up the food bowl again, (can't sleep on an empty stomach you know!). Ok, turn in circles 20 or so times, lay down, (pass some horrible smelling gas, depending on what I just had to eat), then fall blissfully asleep...AND SNORE!! Wake up a couple hours later and start all over again! Humans can be sooo much fun!
