posted on April 12, 2001 06:52:36 PM new
This week, all our office phones went dead and I had to contact the telephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?" I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to do that, since our phones weren't working. He also requested that we report future outages by email (Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?)
IDIOTS AT WORK:
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.
IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and he didn't want them to cross there anymore.
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.
IDIOT SIGHTING #1:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
IDIOT SIGHTING #2:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually-challenged coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"
IDIOT SIGHTING #3:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear co worker who was leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
IDIOT SIGHTING #4:
I work with an individual who plugged his power strip back into itself and for the life of him couldn't understand why his system would not turn on.
IDIOT SIGHTING #5:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."
posted on April 12, 2001 08:42:01 PM new
Sugar2912 - please sign the back of your
credit card But, only if you are sure you are you....I was asked if I had any means of
Identification, I looked at my husband and said do you know who I am...didn't work she said he looked suspicious.
posted on April 12, 2001 10:46:27 PM new
Here is a real idiot story (happened just today): The boyfriend is a network admin for a company that has offices in several towns in the state. He is *the* computer guy, and since he needs to spend most of his time in the main office, he deals with the other offices problems mostly by phone (he gets to the other offices about 4 times a month).
So, today he gets a call from the office a few towns away. The lady *swears* that two of the computers were not working: "All I'm getting is a blank screen".
So, he checks out the NT and can SEE that both computers ARE online. Talks the lady through a restart, and see they are AGAIN online, lady says there is only blank screens.
So, he fiddles with a few more things....still gets reports of blank screens. He thinks about it for a minute, then remembers the first rule of computers: Don't assume the user is smarter than they are.
So, he asks: Are the moniters on? The gal on the other end huffs and puffs and gives him a line about, "How stupid do you think I am".
posted on April 12, 2001 11:50:54 PM new
These are all very funny stories, and I have one to add to them.
Here is my idiot of the week, or whatever, cause I get a new one every year.
We sell firewood, and when a client rings to put an order in, I usually ask what sort of heater it is for. This is because there are different types of timber and they come in different cuts and lengths for certain heaters/stoves. The answer I sometimes get with all seriousness is: A wood one.
Well duh I knew that, but what brand is the @%$# thing.
