Mybiddness
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posted on April 17, 2001 08:38:03 PM new
I still consider myself a newbie to the chat world but I'm always a bit baffled by what I see as unrealistic expectations some people bring to this kind of community forum. IMO, the RT provides an interesting variety of exactly the kinds of things that we all encounter in our "real lives" everyday… people we like, people we don’t, people who are pishy no matter what and others who are friendly no matter what… so, why do people expect that this place should be any different than RL? And, if you don’t find what you’re looking for here that doesn’t automatically mean that there is something wrong with the forum or the people here. It’s more likely that it means that you leaped before you looked.
IMHO,
You should not expect to walk into a pre-existing community and automatically receive immediate acceptance by all. A lot of people have come before you and some of them have had hidden agendas or false faces. Until you’ve been here a while you should expect to be viewed with a certain level of skepticism.— I was—and, you will be. The reactions you receive may or may not have anything to do with you. Don't take it personally.
If you have come here with any preconceived expectations of how you should be treated then you are setting yourself up for disappointment.
This board has a history. Just because you’re not familiar with the history doesn’t make it any less relevant to those that are.
If you’re here long enough you will eventually start a thread or make a post that will:
Be completely ignored
Be almost completely ignored
Be completely misunderstood
That’s the way it goes. It’s happened to everyone at least once. If you take it personally or worry about it then you’re not cut out for this type of forum. Again, that’s not the fault of this community. It’s just life 101.
You will not enjoy this forum if you:
Want everyone to like you.
Want everyone to always get along.
Can’t stand the sight of blood.
This is a nice place but, it is not your living room and, as is true in the “real world” we’re not all nice people.
Actually, I am exceedingly nice — but some of them aren’t.  <<<<<< last but not least—if you’re going to spend time here take the time to learn the complicated but necessary art of smilie droppings.
Did I leave anything out? Too harsh? I'm calling it like I see it.
Not paranoid anywhere else but here!
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rAwBUNzeL
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posted on April 17, 2001 08:43:33 PM new
<<<<<<<<< Not always nice.  [PMS - can't be helped]
Sounds about right Mybidd! Nice post and true.
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hEpBuRn
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posted on April 17, 2001 08:45:49 PM new
Does one need a smilie scooper for those smilie droppings?
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Mybiddness
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posted on April 17, 2001 08:50:14 PM new
smilie droppings
I do like to call them as I see them.
I just get tired of people leaving in a huff like we're so bad... had to speak my mind but I've been in such a bad mood lately maybe I shouldn't have.
Too late.
Not paranoid anywhere else but here!
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zilvy
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posted on April 17, 2001 08:52:24 PM new
Ooooh now RL is interfering with my cyber expectations. I didn't expect to have to pick up smilie droppings....the story of my life. And of course just cause you're neat doesn't guarantee that you are gonna be liked....but I just wanna have phun!!
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Mybiddness
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posted on April 17, 2001 08:55:39 PM new
Zilvy We are toooo nice people aren't we, dammit! 
Oooops, dropped another one. Smilies can leave such a mess.
Not paranoid anywhere else but here!
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zilvy
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posted on April 17, 2001 08:59:43 PM new
{{{{to all}}}} don't get me started some of those poems made me all weepy and "chocked" up, you know I just can't handle that!! We are good people and I don't care what the neighbors say!!
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Mybiddness
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posted on April 17, 2001 09:08:07 PM new
I'm not signed up over there so I'm just cheering our people from the side lines.... I don't know if they can hear me though. Maybe I'll yell a little louder - it'd do me good.
Not paranoid anywhere else but here!
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zilvy
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posted on April 17, 2001 09:12:55 PM new
Probably better to stay in your own backyard until all of this blows over, kind hard to tell some of the players without a scorecard.
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kAtYd
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posted on April 17, 2001 09:24:10 PM new
Yes, zilvy. We riff raff should stay on our own side of the tracks.
KatyD
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barrybarris
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posted on April 17, 2001 10:01:44 PM new
WARNING TO ALL NEWBIES
I am the meanest, low downiest, hard headed stinker in The Round Table.
I'll steal candy from your baby. I'll call yo' Momma nasty names. I'll fart then tell everyone you did it. I'll send your boss a Singing-Moon-Ogram with your name on the Butt of the Mooner.
Remember, you have been warned!!!
Barry (don't get too close, I also bite) Barris
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Mybiddness
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posted on April 17, 2001 10:20:13 PM new
Barry You forgot to add that you're the Ultimate Peep Destroyer... that doesn't intimidate me but it might some.
Not paranoid anywhere else but here!
[ edited by Mybiddness on Apr 17, 2001 10:20 PM ]
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kRAFtdinner
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posted on April 17, 2001 10:33:54 PM new
Well said Mybiddness!
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barrybarris
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posted on April 17, 2001 10:48:21 PM new
Mybiddness and kRAFtdinner,
You kind folks are right. Thank you for pointing out that I am the
Ultimate Peep Destroyer
Peeps must be stopped before they are allowed to multiply.
Barry (BARry BARris) Barris
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MrsSantaClaus
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posted on April 17, 2001 11:01:46 PM new
Forgot to add ....
You haven't really lived until you've been suspected of being a troll!
Also ....
Don't try to do business in the playroom - we'ze just hangin' out in here!
Now, could someone please pass some of that delicious dip? My chips are feeling lonely!
Barry - My niece's father now blames his farts on Lucy (remember her?) She is not amused!
BECKY
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RoxW
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posted on April 18, 2001 03:54:03 AM new
May I add my 2 cents? The first time I posted over at eBay Outlook, what now seems like eons ago, I encountered a person who I thought was accusing me of being a troll. I asked a simple question, perhaps TOO SIMPLE. I ran with my tail tucked and asked for the thread to be locked. Come to find out, the individual was just making a point in a cute way and I took it personal. I got an apology and then all was well. When I found the RT, I was accepted with open arms and felt right at home. I may not agree with what everyone says... but I don't always agree with my loved ones in RL...that's what makes life so special... we are different, with different opinions and outlooks. Anyway, I may not hang out here as much as I use to.. with a full time job, hubby, two teenage sons who are driving me CRAZY, and trying to keep our eBay auctions going- I rarely find time to sit and enjoy reading posts. But I miss you all and I HAVE to come back every now and then and catch up on the gossip! As for you Barry (you are just a teddy bear in disguise) Barris- You don't scare me!!! BTW- has anyone heard from that handsome onezippyone????
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spazmodeus
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posted on April 18, 2001 05:53:34 AM new
I remember when board fights used to be about something.
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zoomin
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posted on April 18, 2001 06:30:00 AM new
{{{mybid}}}
You do the "Welcome Wagon" very well! I wish this thread had been around when I first got here!
2 cents:
Initiation to AW can be painful, but it is worth it.
Lurkers:
Be wary of using your auction handle if you decide to join in.
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spazmodeus
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posted on April 18, 2001 06:57:32 AM new
Initiation to AW can be painful, but it is worth it.
This is a fallacy. I came here two years ago, when this site was brimming with self-styled badasses. Nobody hassled me.
Truth is, most new people don't get "initiated" unless they go looking for it. Either they add their opinion to an argument that's none of their business, or they act in a way that calls undue attention to themselves, or they are disrespectful of people in general.
They get themselves in trouble. It's not an automatic thing.
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Mybiddness
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posted on April 18, 2001 06:58:28 AM new
Hi Rox I thought we might have scared you off... it's good to see you pop in again. I think just about everyone here has been accused of or at least suspected of being a troll at least once. I'm glad you stuck it out.
Zoomin I'm still trying to figure out who you really are.
Not paranoid anywhere else but here!
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Mybiddness
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posted on April 18, 2001 07:12:50 AM new
Spazmodeous I don't see that comment as a fallacy... it may not always be true but the fact is that initiation to AW can be painful. It doesn't have to be if the person doesn't go out of their way to invite suspicion or to provoke... but judging on the number of people that come and go around here it obviously can be painful.
I'm sure that you didn't encounter problems and neither did I. But you don't strike me as the type that would leap before you look. I'm amazed by the people that do that - and then wonder why they hit their head on the rocks.
Not paranoid anywhere else but here!
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inside
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posted on April 18, 2001 07:28:41 AM new
One key to survival is to remember than none of this really matters. It is after all only a cyber room.
So if you are called a troll, if you are mocked by dozens, if the moderators pick on you, if the tattletails chase you about, if teacher's pets call you names, if somebody gives you cooties, if a bully eats your lunch, if you ask a stupid question and get laughed at, if you forget to raise your hand and get detention, if you find that in general the subject sucks... remember you can always hit the "close" button. Have fun classmates!
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spazmodeus
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posted on April 18, 2001 08:06:59 AM new
One key to survival is to remember than none of this really matters. It is after all only a cyber room.
I have always disagreed with that premise. Some people invest an enormous amount of their time, energy and emotions into these boards. They establish what they believe are friendships. For some, their personas here are more real to them than the faces they show the world every day, the things they share more intimate. It's like that in any internet chat environment where there are "regulars."
What happens here does indeed matter to these people. The insults, the disparaging remarks about their character, the betrayals by people they believed were friends, being hounded out of a particular chat ... it hurts them. Some may think them naive or gullible or stupid for placing so much importance on what happens here, but once the damage has been done, what we think counts for s***. They're the ones who have to live with the pain and the feelings of isolation.
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jameSOBlivion
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posted on April 18, 2001 08:22:16 AM new
I actually remember my first post I made in the ebaY outlook after a couple of months of lurking. I was intrigued by the whole concept of the cat and mouse that was going on between shill sellers and Those That Oppose Them and all the elaborate clues that people seemed to know indicated a shill, so I asked how one can know if a seller is really shilling. I'd seen the dynamics in the EO and knew that it could be a tough crowd and right after I posted it I felt a little paranoid that I was going to be accused of being a shill seller (or a wannabe) but it just didn't happen.
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jameSOBlivion
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posted on April 18, 2001 08:23:30 AM new
Hmm. That was a pointless anecdote.
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inside
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posted on April 18, 2001 08:24:05 AM new
spazmodeus,
I can't argue with that. There are some "regulars" here that have seemingly wrapped their entire lives around this chat board. I think perhaps a lot of the animosity they show towards new people is their way of protecting themselves from further pain.
The problem is when they become so jaded they elect to shut out any possiblity of new thoughts, opinions, or friendships.
(edited spelling of poster's name, sorry)
[ edited by inside on Apr 18, 2001 08:36 AM ]
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spazmodeus
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posted on April 18, 2001 08:30:14 AM new
So if you are called a troll, if you are mocked by dozens, if the moderators pick on you, if the tattletails chase you about, if teacher's pets call you names,
LOL, that reminded me of the opening to Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap by AC/DC.
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toke
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posted on April 18, 2001 08:30:16 AM new
I agree, people can get their feelings hurt. But, the reality is...it is just a chat board. To give it more importance is a matter of personal choice.
Not that I don't manage to forget it from time to time, myself. There's a poster here who I felt sorry for...and worried about. An extremely wise young friend pointed out to me (in the kindest possible way, of course ) that I was being a sap.
She was right. It's an affliction that comes and goes...
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eventer
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posted on April 18, 2001 08:36:24 AM new
Hi All,
I don't drop in the RT much these days because there seem to be so many new people & topics & they SCARE me!
I look at coming onto an existing chat board much as moving into an existing neighborhood. People might stop by to welcome you but don't expect to be treated the same as friends who've lived next door for years & shared a lot of experiences together.
Relationships, good & bad, take time to develop.
spazmodeus,
I also have to disagree w/your statement. I recall the first time I posted after lurking for a while. It was in a VERY lively thread about whether or not people should be anonymous. I posted that people should be allowed to post however they felt comfortable.
Needless to say, one poster who is no longer with us proceeded along w/one poster who is still with us proceeded to stomp me in the ground. It was quite a while before I posted again.
The entire group was posting on this thread so it wasn't like it was "none of my business" nor do I feel I was disrespectful but merely adding my opinion to a thread that was full of opinions.
Mercifully those rough & tumble days are pretty much in the past but it CAN and HAS gotten rough for a new person to post an opinion w/o being eaten alive.
Good thread, mybiddness.
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stockticker
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posted on April 18, 2001 08:46:34 AM new
Heck, I lurked on AW for 3 months before I even registered. I wanted to talk about the business of eBaying and they were only talking about fluff on the eBay Canada Board. I was intimidated though by all the opinionated Americans on AW. The only reason I finally registered was it seemed like the lessor of two evils. The other alternative was the eBay DNF board and there was a lot of ranting and raving going on there at that time (eBay had just banned the sale of guns).
Irene
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