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 zilvy
  		posted on April 20, 2001 10:58:48 AM new
I have put some of my personal favorites in bold type.

*****Words of Wisdom*****

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for
I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the hell alone!

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you are going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that is the time to do it.

It's a small world. Use your elbows a lot.

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse!

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Always remember you are unique, just like everyone else.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

If you think nobody care if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

 
 zilvy
  		posted on April 20, 2001 01:58:11 PM new
*****More Wisdom!!!*****

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again: it was probably worth it.

If you haven't much education, you must use your brain.

The word listen contains the same letters as the word silent.

The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little
extra.

Scientists say I our of every 4 people are crazy. Check 3 friends...if they are OK, you're it!

Pain & suffering are inevitable, but misery is optional.


 
 nettak
  		posted on April 20, 2001 03:17:23 PM new
If you have to choose between two evils, pick one you've never tried before.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel soooooooo good.

Men are from earth. Women are from earth. DEAL WITH IT!!

A balanced diet is a chocolate in each hand.

Going to church doesn't make you a christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.

Thou shalt no weigh more than thy refridgerator.

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

Before you criticize someone walk a mile in his shoes.....That way, if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away and barefoot.



 
 zilvy
  		posted on April 20, 2001 04:06:23 PM new
WISDOMS LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED

No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.

If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second
person.

You can't trust a dog to watch your food.

Puppies still have bad breath, even after eating a Tic-Tac.

Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.

You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.


 
 MuRiEl
  		posted on April 20, 2001 04:08:39 PM new


 
 zilvy
  		posted on April 20, 2001 04:42:42 PM new
*****Wisdom Regarding Men*****
(this is the edited kindlier version, cause they are sooo cute!!)

Don't imagine you can change a man, unless he's in diapers.

What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.

If they put a man on the moon, they should be able to put them all up there.

Never let your man's mind wander, it's too little to be out alone.

Go for younger men. You might as well, they never mature anyway.


Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to
make some woman miserable.

Women don't make fools of men, most of them are the do it yourself
types.

Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old
for it.

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him
checkbooks.

Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him
jokes, it means that you laugh at his.

 
 Kazanne
  		posted on April 20, 2001 05:31:08 PM new
Never leave home without wearing clean underwear.

My mother always told me that - explaining it with - if you were ever in an accident and had to go to hospital, you don't want anyone seeing you've got dirty underwear.
Of course, this quote is no good for those who don't wear any.....

 
 zilvy
  		posted on April 20, 2001 06:18:25 PM new
Now lets think about this folks, in the event of a really bad accident with any forwarning....your underwear would probably not be clean no matter what, what?

 
 nettak
  		posted on April 20, 2001 06:45:06 PM new
The sun has just come out in my part of the world.

How right you are Zilvy, they could end up being a nice shade of ummmmmm brown maybe.


Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

 
 gjsi
  		posted on April 20, 2001 07:20:41 PM new
Don't mess with Dragons, cuzz like you're crunchy.

Diplomat: Someone who can tell you to go to h*ll in such a way that you look forward to the trip.

Greg



 
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