posted on April 25, 2001 07:55:39 PMIf life is like a box of Choc'lts look what St Peter has in store for our Hero *****FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN******
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The day finally arrives: Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.
He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. The gates
are closed, however, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.
St. Peter says "Well, Forrest, it's certainly good to see you.
We have heard a lot about you. I must inform you that the place
is filling up fast, and we've been administering an entrance
examination for everyone. The tests are fairly short, but you
need to pass before you can get into Heaven.
Forrest responds, "It shore is good to be here St. Peter.
I was looking forward to this. Nobody ever told me about
any entrance exam. Sure hope the test ain't too hard; life
was a big enough test as it was." St. Peter goes on,
"Yes, I know Forrest but the test I have for you is only three
questions, and here they are:
First: What days of the week begin with the letter T?
Second: How many seconds are there in a year?
Third: What is God's first name?"
Forrest goes away to think the questions over. He returns
the next day and goes up to St. Peter to try to answer the
exam questions. Peter waves him up and says, "Now that
you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me
your answers."
Forrest says, "Well, the first one - how many days in the
week begin with the letter "T"? Shucks, that one's easy.
That'd be Today and Tomorrow."
The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest! That's
not what I was thinking, but.....you do have a point, and I guess
I didn't specify, so I give you credit for that answer." "How
about the next one?" asks St. Peter.
"How many seconds in a year?" "Now that one's harder," says Forrest,
"but I thunk and thunk about that and I guess the only answer can be
twelve."
Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve! Twelve??! Forrest, how in Heaven's
name would you come up with twelve seconds in a year?" Forest says
"Shucks, there gotta be twelve: January second, February second, March
second.." "Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going with this,
and I guess I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind,
but I'll give you credit for that one, too.
Let's go on with the next and final question: Can you tell me God's
first name?" Forrest replied, "Andy."
"OK, OK," said a frustrated St. Peter, "I can understand how you came up
with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did
you come up with the name of 'Andy' as the first name of God?"
"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learned
it from the song.... "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH
ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN...
St. Peter opened the gate and said: "RUN FORREST, RUN!!"
