posted on May 6, 2001 10:39:27 PM new
NEW HAVEN, CT--In a diagnosis that helps explain the confusing and contradictory aspects of the cosmos that have baffled philosophers,theologians, and other students of the human condition for millennia, God, creator of the universe and longtime deity to billions of followers, was found Monday to suffer from bipolar disorder.
Rev. Dr. J. Henry Jurgens, a practicing psychiatrist and doctor of divinity at Yale University Divinity School, announced the historic diagnosis at a press conference.
"I always knew there had to be some explanation," Jurgens said. "And, after several years of patient research and long sessions with God Almighty through the intercessionary medium of prayer, I was able to pinpoint the specific nature of His problem."
Bipolar, or manic-depressive, disorder is a condition that afflicts millions. Characterized by cycles of elation
followed by bouts of profound depression and despair, the disorder can wreak havoc on both the sufferer and his or her loved ones, particularly if it goes undetected and untreated for an extended period. Though the condition is estimated to affect, in one form or another, 5 percent of the world's population, Monday marks the first time it has been diagnosed in a major deity.
Evidence of God's manic-depression can be found throughout the Universe, from the white-hot explosiveness of quasars to the cold, lifeless vacuum of space. However, theologians note, humanity's exposure to God's affliction comes primarily through His confusing propensity to alternately reward and punish His creations with little rhyme or reason.
"Last week, I lost my dear husband Walter to the flood," said housewife and devout churchgoer Elaine Froman of Davenport, IA. "I asked myself, 'Why? Why would God do something like this, especially when He had just helped Walter overcome a long battle with colon cancer, and we were so happy that we finally had a chance to start our lives anew?'"
posted on May 7, 2001 06:37:18 AM new
Hello, everybody!
There are a lot of controversial considerations involved in this dilemma.
Although this is an Onion article there is a veiled but nevertheless valid theological question posed.
Also problematic for me is discussing...
A Yale professor
A practicing psychiatrist
A God with bipolar depression
Today, I'm in a see no evil, do no evil and hear no evil state of mind.
Therefore, I will not be able to give the usual insightful answer that I might otherwise be able to provide.
So, I have decided to follow saabsister's
direction and give the following answer.
posted on May 7, 2001 06:41:52 AM new
Wow, that was a long way to a smilie, but well worth it. Good day to you all.
Now you see thru the "Onions" eyes the trial of believing that a diety causes all your problems, when in fact there are so many "Humanists, Agnostics and Atheists" in this world and they only have themselves to blame!
[ edited by zilvy on May 7, 2001 06:47 AM ]
posted on May 7, 2001 06:55:47 AM new
Sorry but I can't make fun of the Creator. It lacks respect. However I am not one of these people who think they act for God. May he ignore it or be amused if it pleases him.
posted on May 7, 2001 05:12:14 PM new
And in further developments, it was discovered that krs not only has multipule personality disorder, but also a severe case of illusions of grandure. Sadly, none of this makes any sense at all, as most threads indicate.
Rick
In the begining, God created the heavens and the earth.
