posted on May 14, 2001 03:41:43 PM new
It is well documented that for every minute that you exercise, you add one minute to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.
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My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60.
Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where the hell she is.
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The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
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I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.
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I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
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The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
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If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
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And last but not least:
I don't exercise because it makes the ice jump right out of my
glass.
posted on May 14, 2001 04:29:52 PM new
I tried exercising for awhile....it made me so hungry and thirsty, I would come home and eat a pint of ice cream and chased it down with a quart of milk!
I didn't have to stay with it for long though, I was asked to please not come back. They were afraid I would drop with a heart attack. I had to chuckle on that one.
That was almost 25 years ago and I haven't dropped yet. Then again, I stopped doing all that jumping and hopping around too!
