pareau
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posted on July 24, 2001 07:12:20 PM
She sounds like a "special needs" mom.
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hepburn
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posted on July 24, 2001 07:19:30 PM
Fox smells his own hole.
edited to put HIS instead of HER.
[ edited by hepburn on Jul 24, 2001 07:20 PM ]
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Hjw
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posted on July 24, 2001 07:27:01 PM
hepburn
<quote>
"Fox smells his own hole."
<end quote>
What on earth are you talking about?
Helen
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hepburn
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posted on July 24, 2001 07:30:37 PM
I was just quoting a little something for miss pareau. She seems to think a mom who doesnt want her child called "retarded" must be so herself. So, I figured since she seems so determined to judge and know the facts...well...fox smells its own hole.
Are there any parents here in RT who have special needs children? Perhaps we can hear from them. Unless, pareau is one herself and speaks from experience of what is considered "proper" term of said children/adults.
[ edited by hepburn on Jul 24, 2001 07:32 PM ]
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barbarake
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posted on July 24, 2001 07:50:34 PM
Well, what's your definition of 'special needs'? My son was labeled 'retarded' when he was four years old. I (of course) maintained that he was not. He's now rising fifth grade, mostly A's last year (few B's), tested on the 10th grade math level (which floored his teachers and he's going to take some special tests this fall) and was voted 'Student of the Year' at his school (by the teachers).
No, he's not 'retarded'. He *is* 'special needs'. He has major problems w/ speech and is barely grade level with reading. He learns ... differently. It's hard to explain but he fits the classic definition of 'learning-disabled'. For example, he still mixes up his pronouns (him/her/his/her's/etc.) Various other things. And he can be hard to understand when he's speaking. But he knows what he's trying to say - it just doesn't always come out the right way.
Anyway, getting back to the subject. If he actually were 'retarded', I think I would take offense (as a parent) to the term. No one likes to hear that about their child. It might be different if the child had Down's Syndrome - that's an actual medical condition and is usually readily recognizable. But if that weren't the case, I think I'd vastly prefer hearing my child referred to as 'a bit slow' (or something like that) rather than 'retarded'.
I don't know - maybe it's silly - but 'retarded' sounds so final and cruel to me.
Just my opinion....
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Hjw
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posted on July 24, 2001 08:01:38 PM
hepburn
I can only tell you how I feel about the issue. If my child was correctly diagnosed as retarded I would not object or feel embarrassed about the problem being described as retarded. Using a euphemism such as special needs for the condition would not alter the diagnosis or make it easier to deal with.
Helen
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hepburn
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posted on July 24, 2001 09:03:20 PM
The word "retarded" makes the thought of "twisted" come to mind. Like barbarake said...its seems too cruel a word to me. Special needs is what Im used to using, in deference to my friend's son, because thats what she uses. Saying retarded is like calling obese or "large" people whales, elephants, etc. Yes, they are "fat". But I wouldnt dream of saying to someone "oh, you wont fit in that seat, youre too fat". In other words, there ARE other words that dont sound so....nasty and cruel. Thats all Im saying, or trying to say. Special needs sounds a hell of a lot better than retard.
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Hjw
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posted on July 24, 2001 09:17:49 PM
hepburn
I did not say retard.
Helen
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gravid
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posted on July 24, 2001 09:18:48 PM
KatyD - Latinos are not white? Sorry it is hard to keep up. How about Jews and Italians?
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hepburn
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posted on July 24, 2001 09:21:01 PM
Retarded, retard. Tomato, tomatoh.
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joice
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posted on July 24, 2001 09:30:33 PM
Please try to discuss manners, not give examples of bad ones.
Joice
[email protected]
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Hjw
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posted on July 24, 2001 09:32:36 PM
hepburn
<quote>
"Bunnicula, it could have been worse. The kid couldve ate it. Maybe Mom picks her nose too, and thats why its ok with her."
<end quote>
The quote above is obnoxious beyond belief!
I will accept Barbarake's suggestion to use the term special needs but I will not take any direction from you.
Edited to remove objectional name...sorry!
Helen
[ edited by Hjw on Jul 24, 2001 09:45 PM ]
[ edited by Hjw on Jul 24, 2001 09:52 PM ]
[ edited by Hjw on Jul 25, 2001 07:04 AM ]
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joice
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posted on July 24, 2001 09:34:57 PM
Hjw,
You have less than 5 minutes to edit your post. I will give you the benefit of typing while I posted.
Joice
[email protected]
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bunnicula
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posted on July 24, 2001 09:41:56 PM
????
HJW: why on earth do think Hepburn's post was obnoxious? She merely pointed out that the mother may not have found anything wrong with nose picking because it was a habit she herself might have. What's wrong with that? That's the way things work.
edited for UBB
[ edited by bunnicula on Jul 24, 2001 09:42 PM ]
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mybiddness
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posted on July 24, 2001 09:41:57 PM
My mom always told me... "You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose... but, you can't pick your friend's nose."
I think if we all just remember that then we can make the world a better place. 
Not paranoid anywhere else but here!
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joice
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posted on July 24, 2001 09:44:01 PM
HJW,
You are the owner of a final warning for this comment Nasty should be your middle name. to another AW member.
Joice
[email protected]
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KatyD
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posted on July 24, 2001 09:54:21 PM
Well of course there can be no serious dialogue about manners without the discussion of nose picking. 
Latinos are not white? Sorry it is hard to keep up. How about Jews and Italians?
Gravid, no, latinos are not considered "white". They have their own "ethnic" designation on census and other forms. Italians, being of European descent are probably considered "white". I think that Jewish is a religious designation rather than a particular ethnic group. Jews might be members of multiple ethnic groups. I don't think Jews have their own "race" categorization. I could be wrong though. We're a country that does love our "labels".
Not that this has anything to do with "manners". 
KatyD
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Capriole
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posted on July 24, 2001 10:08:32 PM
God may have made my face but he let me pick my nose.
hee hee hee...sorry could not resist
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Hjw
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posted on July 24, 2001 10:12:36 PM
LoL
And then eat it as Hepburn suggested?
Helen
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bunnicula
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posted on July 24, 2001 10:22:08 PM
Actually, Hepburn didn't suggest that at all. Hepburn said "be grateful he *didn't* eat it." Which, like it or not, does happen.
edited to put in a "
[ edited by bunnicula on Jul 24, 2001 10:22 PM ]
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Hjw
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posted on July 24, 2001 10:34:05 PM
bunnicula
"Bunnicula, it could have been worse.
The kid couldve ate it.
Maybe Mom picks her nose too, and
thats why its ok with her."
Exactly what Hepburn said.
I'm happy that it did not happen.
Helen
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bunnicula
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posted on July 24, 2001 10:39:08 PM
So am I. That would have almost been as bad as the kids who stand right next to you and pass gas. I'm not kidding--happens all the time. Apparently parents aren't teaching them about *that* either.  Sometimes it's very hard to help someone find the info they want while trying to hold your breath & stand a few feet away at the same time...
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hepburn
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posted on July 24, 2001 10:43:09 PM
Now now Helen. Your blood pressure is going to go up and we cant have that now can we? It makes your body get all retarded.
Thanks Joice. Im trying to be nice and mannerly. S'hard to do at times, but Im a'tryin'.
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Hjw
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posted on July 24, 2001 10:44:52 PM
Good Grief!
Helen
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hepburn
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posted on July 24, 2001 10:45:57 PM
Speaking of noses...think about it. If we were designed just alittle bit different than what we are now, and our noses were upside down, we would all drown if it rained
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hepburn
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posted on July 24, 2001 10:47:18 PM
I see my middle name is still "nasty". If I pick my nose, maybe it will flush me out and I wont be so cloggy and nasty?
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Hjw
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posted on July 24, 2001 10:48:30 PM
Nice and Mannerly? ROTFLOL!!!
Helen
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hepburn
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posted on July 24, 2001 10:50:17 PM
Helen, you are the one that goes out of her way to say people are rude and then call names. I cant see where I called you one.
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Hjw
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posted on July 24, 2001 10:53:09 PM
You are a real angel, Hepburn.
Helen
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bunnicula
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posted on July 24, 2001 10:54:25 PM
Perhaps if you had said "ingested nasal material" instead of "eat it" it wouldn't have been so bad? Or "excavated debris laden nasal mucus" instead of "nose picking"? After all, we all know people pick their noses (& sometimes eat what they find), but it is so cruel to call it that...
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