posted on February 24, 2001 07:01:30 PM
ExecutiveGirl: I have read many of your posts and you have been very helpful and kind. I am sorry that there are some people that do not know how to do the same.
digitalmaster: You are 100% in the right! I wish you the best!
BJGrolle: You may not agree with a poster..but you do not need to attack the person!
posted on February 24, 2001 07:04:04 PM
I feel like Rodney King here but... "Can't we all just get along?"
Were all sellers, or at least many of us are and I am sure we dont talk about the good transaction because good transactions are our usual transaction (otherwise we would not be selling in the first place). So, things that are unusual are what drive us to talk about our transactions.
Oh, and yeah, that is my eBay name. I chose that because of my field "digital mastering." Speaking of digitalmastering, if anyone is interested in audio and stuff, I am working on a website which reviews hardware/software and mostly talks about doing audio on your computer. It wont be up for a few weeks, but here are the url's.
Unfortunatly, I don't own digitalmaster.com but still, I get thousands of hits on my domains anyway and I am not even really using them yet so I guess its not that bad.
[ edited by digitalmaster on Feb 24, 2001 07:07 PM ]
My comments were 100% on the topic until you decided to "attack" me personally and call me harsh and antagonistic.
I have not called you any names. I may have disagreed with you on the TOPIC of this thread but I did not call you any names or tell you what I thought of you personally.
Seems like you are the one who took offense just because I didn't agree with you.
It's amazing how many people could take their own advice before trying to dish it down everyone else's throat.
posted on February 24, 2001 07:12:14 PM
Oh, BTW, before I turn in for the night....
A lesson to all:
Calling people you don't even know morons isn't very nice or polite either.
After seeing so many derogatory comments like this, generally by the same individual, it kind of stuck in my craw and prompted me to make the comments I did to her.
If I've offended anyone else by this, I'm sorry. But my opinion still stands...
Good night, all!
[edited to add]:
I think (hope) digitalmaster realizes that my comment regarding not antagonizing the customer was not meant to imply that such a thing occurred in this case.
[ edited by BJGrolle on Feb 24, 2001 07:26 PM ]
posted on February 24, 2001 10:39:54 PM
Sorry, I decided to stay up a little later after all...
psalms139,
You seem like a truly nice person. I feel like I owe you an explanation.
First, ExecutiveGirl made the decision to address me directly on page 2 of this thread as follows:
BJGrolle - you have been LUCKY to not get a chargeback for shipping to a different address. Just because you have been lucky doesn't mean all other sellers should take that risk as well...
My response:
Yep, probably have been lucky. Or maybe I know how not to antagonize my customers. That often can lead to trouble such as we see here.
No, I'm not suggesting that others take the same risk. Conduct your business however you see fit. I treat customers how I expect to be treated and generally things work out well.
I do not in any way feel that my response to her there was hostile.
Then she takes another one of my remarks and twists it around as follows:
Or maybe I know how not to antagonize my customers.
Her response:
Auction states $4 shipping.
Buyer bids and wins, without asking any questions.
After auction ends, buyer emails seller that they will NOT pay the shipping amount that is stated in the auction, they will only pay what THEY want to pay.
Sorry, but I think this would be considered BUYER antagonizing the SELLER. Not the other way around.
By twisting it around I mean she put a specific meaning behind my remark, when none was meant. I'd previously posted in agreement on page 1 that the buyer had started things off badly, but ExecutiveGirl obviously misunderstood my meaning and felt the need to express her disagreement, which wasn't really disagreement because we do seem to share that same viewpoint. And since I'd previously stated that, I don't know why this occured.
Then, kerryann expressed some disagreement (very kindly) with ExecutiveGirl and ExecutiveGirl promptly fired off a response (naming kerryann directly) making it quite plain that she disagreed with her. OK, nothing wrong with that.
But then, ExecutiveGirl, went on to refer to buyers as morons and that if the particular buyer in question didn't fully understand how a particular payment service worked that's HER problem
I found those remarks to be totally insensitive and, as I've stated, that seems to be the prevailing attitude of ExecutiveGirl in many other threads I've read. Also, anytime anyone has disagreed with her (or she perceives that they have), she seems to have this need to post about it. Someone else in a recent thread also attacked (if you like that word) her for her harsh comments and was promptly given the same treatment as I have been given in this thread.
In this she has implied that I've said things that I have not, as I've quoted above. I do not like that. This happened with 2 of my comments as shown above. Yet, I still responded calmly at the time.
I lost that calm with her insensitive remarks. She thinks I am not being very nice or polite and I would agree with that. I do try not to start things. I don't think I did start it here. But I felt the need to point out that words like those she used here and consistently uses in other threads can be the start of much trouble between buyers and sellers (and obviously posters).
Again, you sound very nice. But is it helpful and kind to call others morons? No. Not in my opinion.
You are condemning me for my behavior here. You are entitled to that and I don't begrudge you your right to your opinion, nor am I embarrassed by what I've said here tonight. Others might agree with you and not me.
Please note the following comment that she made:
Seems like you are the one who took offense just because I didn't agree with you.
Again, she still doesn't get it and she's twisting around the whole thing. I don't take offenses over a difference of opinion. But I do take offense when someone shows such contempt for other people.
So, since you seem fixated on what I've said to and about ExecutiveGirl, without at all addressing any of the comments she has made, is that the same thing as saying that Person A can call someone "stupid", but Person B cannot tell Person A that it was harsh and antagonistic to call someone "stupid" and that Person B would not wish to associate with Person A because of it?
Now, this is your most recent comment to me:
Some people on these threads don't realize that they can truly hurt another person. "Words break no bones, but they do break hearts."
You are the last person who needs to tell me about broken hearts and how words can hurt. I was not going to divulge this as it seems ridiculous and really off-topic, but I will if it will allow you and anyone else (even maybe you, ExecutiveGirl), to understand my upset about this whole thing.
This is quite serious and personal.
I was emotionally and sometimes physically abused starting in young childhood. This went on for nearly 15 years to the best of my recollection. Today, I am a relatively well-adjusted woman just a few years shy of 40 with a pretty good life. I intend to keep it that way.
But, certain thing can and do trigger extremely bad memories, things that no one should ever have to live through. Now, while all that may be long past, sometimes the emotional reaction can still be quite strong today. It's just something I have to live with for the rest of my life.
So when anyone starts with the name-calling (and ExecutiveGirl did start it even though she wasn't calling me a moron) and shows what I perceive to be a contemptuous attitude towards others, I have an incredibly difficult time holding my feelings in. Most times I can. Today I could not.
I want to say "How dare you talk that way! Who do you think you are? Don't treat others like they're stupid! What do you think, everyone else is dirt beneath your feet? Think you're better than everyone else?"
I know what sarcasm is, believe me, I know full well. I'm guilty of it myself sometimes. But when I see one person continually (I perceive) address others with sarcasm, and resort to name-calling, it's like I'm hearing the emotional abuse all over again and I simply can't stand it. It's like an abuser who follows you around and you can't escape. No matter where you go, they're always there.
So, I'm sorry, psalms139, but no one needs to teach or lecture [b] about how others can be hurt. No one at all.
I cannot bring myself to apologize to anyone who is so caustic in their remarks. It's uncalled for. And I don't expect any of you to really understand either. You couldn't.
[edited to add]
Sorry about the length.
[ edited by BJGrolle on Feb 24, 2001 10:41 PM ]
